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allnaturalwife
Forum Member
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Posted - 04/17/2008 : 6:29:23 PM
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Ok folks, those of you who know me, know that I am a nudist wife and mom of three daughters 21,18, and 16 who are now and have always been raised clothes free since they were born. Those of you who know me, know from my many posts in the past, that I, as well as my family actually LIVE the life of nudists as opposed to just do it casually. We do not know of any other way to live and incorporate being nude as much as our current society permits. I am a liberal minded nudist, as is my husband of 25 years, and we have raised all three of our daughters to be the same. "Liberal minded nudist" not to be confused with the many, MANY, that inter-twine nudism and swinging. Although I do not mind discussing the "taboo" issues that come up in this way of life Ie: erections, sex..blah.. blah blah, There comes a point where all of us REAL nudists have to separate ourselves from the exhibitionists, looky-loos, and other rif-raff that seem to post on sites like this one, in effort to "muddy' a wholesome lifestyle with one that might seem seedy or suspect. Most in order to push their own "agendas"
I have not posted in a while because I feel the topics of late, center around exibitionism and center around issues that are not really about the nudist way of life. Such topics such as " the size of ones penis" are what add greatly to others pre-conceived notions of what nudism is about. Since I have lived a nudist life for 46 years, I am quite capable of differentiating between legit curiosity, and exhibitionist banter infused with sexual undertones. Unfortunately the bulk of topics I have been seeing on here fall under the latter.
So for those of us that just prefer to live life clothes free. Lets make an attempt to legitimize the topics we post about as to dispell the myths about our way of life.
JENN- nudist wife and mom
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 04/17/2008 : 6:53:27 PM
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Hi, Jenn. Nice seeing you again. I've lived as a nudist as much as possible these 40 of my 60years so I pretty much understand where you're coming from. I try to answer a newbie's questions as if they're for real. One never knows. There will always be the person who wants to bring attention to him or herself and is questioning or answering a post in a titillating manner. I try to ignore those and help the others.
If you come back from time to time and look at the active topics, maybe we can again draw you in to offer your good 3 cents. :)
Hugs, Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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FlCpl4NewdFun
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 02:14:13 AM
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allnaturalwife: Here we go again with the "REAL nudists" argument. If real is defined by what most nudists do, then I'm afraid to break the bad news to you that you are the outlier in this population. I highly doubt that most who consider themselves nudists live their life nude to the the extent you have described.
Look, I understand what you are trying to say and I do sympathize with your point to a limited extent, but don't you think it's a tad bit judgmental for one that is "liberal-minded?" Casual nudists may not live the "life" as you say, but they are nudists nonetheless. Every argument I've heard about nudism has at it's core that nudists are just like everybody else but prefer not to wear clothes. So do you want this board to be about paying one's mortgage, sending the kids to college, and that bitchy check out clerk at Wal-Mart last week?
I think it's quite clear that most nudists have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in them, especially if they started as an adult. And yes, the erection talk does get a little boring, but from a male perspective I was totally worried about that before my fist venture out in the buff. Guess what though, it's never happened and I doubt it ever will but that realization after the fact did not make the prior concern any less real. Not sure who's pushing who's agenda here. Your post is one of the few I've ever seen that actually has an agenda. It's clearly stated in the last sentence. Can't argue with you on the the size issue post (you should read my reply in that thread).
Bottom line - nudist's are just like everybody else that's why they talk so much about sex. To me what gives nudism a bad name is the subtle hint of elitism in many of the posts. Let's leave the elitism to the professionals, namely the Democratic presidential candidates!
(oops, did I just add an agenda? Or was it humor? you decide)
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Quietman1951
Forum Member
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 Posted - 04/18/2008 : 05:09:46 AM
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Well said, Jenn & Cheri.
Most of the "Active Topics", I do not even bother to read, much less respond to.
Just MHO.
Quietman1951 ; wishing to be Paroled from confinment in my textiles!
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Tuffers
Forum Member
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 05:19:51 AM
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Lovely to see you posting again Jenn. We have missed you. I agree with you on many of the points raised. A good example was a post I read a few days ago from a new member who was looking for people to give him a thrill on Webcam. If he wants that type of site then this is not the one. The same individual was complaining that nobody had responde to him under the New Members, Introduce yourself section. Is it surprising?
I envy you that you live in a climate that allows you to be clothes free for most of the time. In South East UK it is not so.( Cold easterly wind and cloudy with rain today!!)
I definitely do not agree with FlCpl4NewdFun that most nudists have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in them. I have been a nudist for over 30 years and have rarely come across anyone who I could remotely accuse of exhibitionism.
Let us keep this site enjoyable for all and stick to hearing our members'experiences in nudism etc, not posting from a small minority who seem to get their kicks out of raising subjects that are not about the REAL purpose of being clothes free as nudists.
Mike
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FireProf
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 11:34:46 AM
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We have some good points here from those that have posted so far. I see this arguement on all of the naturist sites I post on and belong to..."why is this site dominated by sex, penis size, shaving ones pubic area...blah,blah,blah."
I began to answer each and every new person's question about erections because I felt the need to dispell their fears about having one in a social nude setting. I never worried about whether I'd get one or not...I was more worried about being accepted into the social nude circle by those already there.
After years of replying to these and ending up with egg on my face due to posting to an imposter or jokester...I shyed away from answering those I felt were just asking the questions to get as many people to bite on the bate as they could.
So...I'm much more selective about who and what I respond to but...I will still respond when I think the person is legitmate and the question is pertinent.
These topics tend to dominate naturist message boards by so many that post one to three times all in the same direction, then they never post again. I don't think we'll ever be able to stop those questions but what can be done and it's not done enough is to direct those new people to the "search" topic section that's discussed these topics, in the past, and not start a whole new thread on the same topic that's been hashed over dozens of times.
Just as there are democratics and republicans...we have liberals and conservatives. Neither of us...NEITHER of us is 100% of any of these groups.
FlCpl4NewdFun makes a joke about democratic presidential candidates...so I'll just assume for "DISCUSSION" sake that he's republican.
If FlCpl4NewdFun was 100% republican, could he really....really be into nudism, nude recreation, a little exhibitionism...? That group, republicans, are suppose to be so conservative. So maybe...there's a little "liberal" in all those nudist conservatives.
and...the same goes for assuming that just because someone calls themselves "liberal" that all sense of decency, decorum, manners and common sense are not something they feel strongly about. Whether conservative or liberal...we are all judgemental...if you state you are not...then you're only lying to yourself.
There is no doubt that we are adults and like to have adult fun when and where appropriate but to mingle the two topics (sex and naturism) on a naturist site intended to show the public that naturism isn't what the vast majority thinks it is, is only doing the lifestyle harm. Yes we are all adults and to try and pretend that we don't think about sex, have sex or get excited is not realistic and a farce but we should do more to limit the amount of repetative discussions on the same topics.
Just my opinion...from one liberal/conservative democan to another.
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Tuffers
Forum Member
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 12:35:17 PM
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Thanks fireprof. It is all down to decorum in this oversexed liberal modern world we live in. As nudists we are trying to convince society that nudism is an acceptable lifestyle to live and therefore we have got to consider what the "textile" reader of our forum who is considering nudism/naturism for the first time will think if the postings are sexually orientated. It is hard enough to convince the powers to be to allow nudist beaches and accept nudism in our society anywhere in the world without idiots posting on this forum the type of rubbish that I referred to in my earlier message.
What are your thoughts Jenn who raised the original question. You have probably got the vast silent majority support if only those folks will come forward to endorse your thoughts.
Mike
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allnaturalwife
Forum Member
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 3:08:51 PM
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Interesting link to political affiliation that I didnt expect. With the exception of one poster I appreciate the positive response.
And for the record--in my 46 years in this culture I have come across many, many more nudists who live more in the manner in which I and my family do. We live in Southern CA and the bulk of members of the three nudist clubs that we go to, either live at the club, ie: are lucky enough to spend most of their time nude, or spend most weekends there as well as spend nude time in their own home nude of course. My point being this: The percentage of time you spend nude is not what makes one a "real nudist" but your attitudes and beliefs about what nudism is about does. Please lets not get off on a tangent about "Real vs. casual" nudists. I only use the term "real nudist" to distinguish between those who honestly prefer not to wear clothes for comfort, spirituality or whatever, vs. those who do it for the "shock value", thrill, sexual charge. or other such nonsense.
As for nudism as it relates to sex:It DOESNT MATTER what your views on sex or sexuality are: They have nothing to do with nudism. Lets all put that to bed( forgive the phrase) right now:) Once and for all, I as I hope we all do,I enjoy sex, and partake in it when at all possible. What I am trying to say here is that, when posting and discussing issues on a NUDISM site it is EXTREMELY detrimental to legitimacy of the site when viewed from the outside. It gives the impression that nudism is centered around sexually charged issues, which is what we should all be desparately trying to avoid.
What topics should we all talk about then? Well how about: Trip reports of nudist resorts/ clubs we have all been to? And I mean honest trip reports. Such as what the atmosphere is like, positves and negatives of each club we have been to, different view points of are local nudist clubs. How many of us on here do frequent local nudist clubs? Which ones? Do we like them? And its ok to post about piercings, hell I have a few, But its very obvious, to me at least, the difference between legitimate curious questions in these ares vs. someone posting just to fuel a sexually charged discussion. Issues that may be harming are culture are good to discuss. Maybe local officials trying to shut down a club or beach. How about the perverts that are turning our nude beaches into sex orgies. Not only turning away potential new nudists, but risking getting the beaches shut down all together. How about the countless issues facing nudist parents and those government officials who want to stick there nose into those families---"saying that it isnt appropriate to be nude around your children" (THIS ONE REALLY PISSES ME OFF) How about what we can all do to really introduce the younger generation into this culture. I think as a whole nudism is primarily an over 45 group. We all know why that is, hell just look at the entertainment at your local club. But why is that? Why not bands and stuff geared towards a younger crowd? Because the crowd isnt younger..but thats because the entertainemnt isnt.. What are our local clubs, groups such as AANR doing to promote nudism to all age demographics? What can we all do? Actually I think as a culture we have MORE THAN REACHED the over 50 crowd, lets concetrate on those 40 and under..maybe rejuvinate and add some energy to our movement.
These are just a few topics that I think are important. There are countless nudism related topics that we could discuss having nothing to do with erections, penis size, and the like.
Jenn
Jenn:)
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catbird
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 3:12:50 PM
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Jenn, your points are essentially well taken.
From a male standpoint, I understand why the thread on penis size got in. A small size tends to make a male feel inferior; hence he wondered whether he would be accepted in nudist circles (we don't care about size). This is an example of questions that a first timer might have. He/she wonders whether he/she would fit in.
Fireproof has a point that would reduce the number of these questionable posts. The search command should be used more. A newcomer has a question and he/she only thinks of entering a new thread, instead of using the search command. The search command would probably indicate that the question has already been answered umpteen times. If the question is already answered, that means one less new thread.
Maybe the web page should make "search" more noticeable.
Naturally, Catbird
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Safebare
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 3:47:43 PM
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Welcome back Jenn!! I agree that many posts on this, and other sites, have bent outside what I consider appropriate for a naturist forum.
I also understand how difficult it is to sort out the honest questions from those of a more prurient nature. There will always be gray area. This site does have a number of honest nudist/naturist members who speak up (usually) when a newbie gets out of line. I do not like how this often leads to a drawn out banter. Aarrgh..
I have the power to pick and choose what I read and certainly what I want to contribute to.
If the administers tighten control the content it would likely swing the pendulum to far the other direction? So, at the end of the day, I appreciate the efforts extended by the many contributers to the site and hope we can continue to progress nudism/naturism as an honest and natural lifestyle.
"Wearing nothing is devine, naked is a state of mind."
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GrayWolf
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 3:53:18 PM
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I agree that there are a LOT of topics here that are of little, if any, use to anyone really considering nudism for the first time - socially or at home.
Only partly in jest:
It would be nice if the topics that actually are informative for fearful first timers, like nudity and religion, erections, penis size, spouse acceptance, breast size, body shape, etiquette etc. were grouped in a category called "information and discussions regarding first time nudists".
Another broad category to gather up the swinger, voyeur, exhibitionist, etc discussions would help sort out the stuff I don't care about reading or discussing on a web page called "Talk About Nudism". Put that on a page called 'talk about sex' instead.
That would thin out the stuff that 'established nudists', social or private, have to weed through to find something that is informative, entertaining, or amusing to discuss as they "Talk About Nudism".
I know. I know. Never happen but ......
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go n nude
Forum Member
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 6:34:15 PM
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In my opinion, i find this forum to be informitive and for the most part legit, although some topics leave one thinking "not again" a new post,same old topic. I quess for newcomers, like some say, being new and unaware of the many pages under General discussions for example 945 topics and counting, good chance its been discussed as i've found. This forum and its respectful members, although we might not always agree, it is enlightening for the most part, and the active users do make it possible or sustain this forum. Without them it wouldn't be legit.
go n nude
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FlCpl4NewdFun
Forum Member
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Posted - 04/18/2008 : 8:17:09 PM
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allnaturalwife:
I actually liked your second post (well most of it anyway). But I absolutely stand by my response to your first post. It may be a dissenting opinion but it's legit and an honest response (albeit slightly sarcastic). On your second post I still disagree with you about what a nudist is. Your description elevates nudism to some spiritual experience and thus shapes or drives your attitude and beliefs. I think it's one's own self developed attitudes and beliefs shaped by thier environment and experiences that allows one to enjoy nudism. I really don't understand those that treat it as some sort of religion. Nudism doesn't define me its just something I do and yes I consider myself real. But hey, differing opinions are what makes the world go around. One other point on your second post, discussion boards are just that. If we censored ourselves and only posted topics that didn't have the potential to be detrimental to nudism it wouldn't be a discussion board, it would be a sales pitch or even worse propaganda. Any worthwhile movement should be able stand alone on it's own merit and deflect criticism with logic, reason, and honesty.
FireProf: doh! you caught me. Yes I admit it I am indeed a republican. Not necessarily by choice, but more by default since the libertarians have yet to produce a candidate who's not a total Kook! I'm actually one of those fiscal conservatives and social liberals. But I have no choice but to shake out a republican because I am so opposed to the democrats economic, taxation, domestic, foreign, and entitlement policies I could not in good conscience ever vote for one at this point. But on the social issues while I am opposed to many of my republican brethren, at least the courts give them a fighting chance. No court in the world could undo the fiscal and monetary policies of the democrats, but the courts can and have protected individual choice and liberties. By the way, my poke at the candidates in my last post was intended to be aimed solely at Clinton based on her comments of calling Obama an elitist, not at democrats in general. Many of my best friends are unfortunately democrats, they'll come around though, they'll come around. It's so funny because our good friends who are the most liberal die in the wool democratic couple we know say how great it is that my wife and I enjoy going to nude resorts, but won't give it a try with us (I think they secretly want to though, maybe one day). I wonder if they tell their other friends about their nudist republican friends.
Cheers!
Notice: This moderator, operating under username 'Moderator', has been terminated for repeatedly censoring or altering posts without providing a clear indication of which policy was being enforced. Her actions were not sanctioned by this organization.
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Edited by - Moderator on 04/19/2008 09:37:12 AM |
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rooftopwilly
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Posted - 04/19/2008 : 12:31:11 AM
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The fact of the matter is, if you ask 10 different people what a "nudist" is, you'll probably get 10 different answers. By labeling one as a "casual" nudist, or a "true" nudist, you are in a way, doing what seems to be hated most by "nudists" and that is judging people. If I claim to be a nudist, don't tell me I'm not because my opinions and overview of it may be different from yours. We should all accept our thoughts, ideas, and aspects of nudity. I don't consider myself a nudist or a naturist. I just like to say that I love being naked, and leave it at that.
Now when you have someone saying that nudity is dirty, or it's only sexual, then by all means, stand up for what you believe in.
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Edited by - rooftopwilly on 04/19/2008 12:40:32 AM |
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WyldspringNudist
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Posted - 04/19/2008 : 01:35:24 AM
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Very nice response FlCpl4NewdFun, glad to see that people here will defend themselves. By all means talk about whatever you want. It is only when topics are censored that we have problems. A true dynamic community talks about everything that involves the community even if some find the topics distasteful. So long as language is used in good taste I have no problems talking about the things that may offend, continue on.
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Balto Bob
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Posted - 04/19/2008 : 08:48:05 AM
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Great to see you posting again, Jenn.
We currently have several young people posting. The sad part is they are geographicly far apart. All of them are looking for other nudists their age.
As far as those threads you spoke of, I log in everyday, Once I know what a thread is about, many of them get skipped.
Someday when I hit the lotto I'm going to get all your posts set up as a "How to on nudism". Particularly your posts on raising children. I gather the first thing is to move where it is WARM.
Bob
Have a nice NUDE day !!
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