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| calicpl1191 |
Posted - 06/08/2004 : 3:10:43 PM
We are fairly new to nudism, and with the exception of one good friend, have pretty much kept our activities private. We know, however, that it is inevitable that sooner or later, it will leak out about our nudist lifestyle. The trouble with this is that our family and friends would be non-supportive of our decision to become nudists. Actually, they would be firmly, even angrily against it. Especially since we are considering introducing our children to it soon.
Is there an easy way to deal with this problem, or am I being over paranoid?
Thanks in advance...Mr & Mrs Cali.... |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Warmskin |
Posted - 11/18/2013 : 01:25:43 AM
That's good to hear, Blavan. That is how it should be.
“I rise early almost every morning and sit in my chamber, without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing.”
Ben Franklin
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| blavan |
Posted - 11/11/2013 : 3:41:07 PM
We know lots of nudists that we have met at the nudist resort closest to us. Some of them are friends that we now see both at the resort and away from the resort. It's easy to meet and to get to know other nudists if the resort has an honestly friendly character. We have known our nudist friends for a while and we trust each other and feel safe with our nudist friends.
Being Naked and Being Real |
| ROB g |
Posted - 11/11/2013 : 12:42:19 PM
Un supportiveness is a topic in many aspects of life and opinions. But staying with this one. I feel you can friends and family members who are not nudists that don't need to know if you know they are not accepting of it. My future sister inlaw knows and dose not care but we stay dressed when she is around. I could probably get away with being nude in front of her since she has expressed some interest and has talked to us about it. When I first met Kim. I told her I liked being nude and was every chance I got. She also said she like being nude. On our first date when we went back to her place to watch a movie she had me get naked. By our third or fourth date she was getting naked in front of me. and now were naked when ever we get a chance and are engaged. We only tell those who we know will not be offended. But we have also said we would like to meet nudists in our area. And feel we can have two sets of friends with out offending anyone. |
| blavan |
Posted - 11/11/2013 : 09:03:06 AM
Very well stated Nudony. It does depend on who you "come out" to and how it is done. We have lost some non-nudist friendships as a result of being outed, as in others were told of our nude lifestyle without our consent. We have since then selectively told many others, but we have controlled the "coming out", and that makes the outcome totally different and more acceptable to non-nudists. We choose to be clothed in the presence of our clothed friends, and that includes the ones who know that we are nudists.
Being Naked and Being Real |
| Nudony |
Posted - 11/10/2013 : 10:59:14 AM
quote:
Originally posted by FireProf
My wife's close textile friends probably know but they've never been told outright. My wife has tried a few times to tell them but each time she's tried ... seems one or more of the ladies has something more important for them to discuss and my wife shelves the discussion.
The topic of "coming out" reminds me of some "altercations" I once had with someone in another forum... :)
Obviously, moving to a nudist resort like Marion Higgins (on my last post) or plastering your house with "Clothesfree Zone" signs are pretty evident and straightforward ways of "coming out." But ultimately, no matter how strong your nudist convictions are, the question IMHO is: "How important are your textile relationships to you?"
My best friend once told me this story about his fiancee's somewhat estranged sister. They went to visit her, aware of her "eccentric" behavior but unaware of the specifics of it. They arrived at her home; she greeted them in a bathrobe, my friend naturally assumed she'd just come out of the shower. What he didn't assume was that after greeting them and showing them their room, she would declare that she never wore clothes at home before proceeding to toss her bathrobe. My friend described a feeling of amazement and horror as she plopped in the couch in front of them completely naked. My friend and his fiancee decided to cut their stay short and left the next morning. The sister stayed nude the entire time.
For some people that sort of "coming out" may be admirable. The catch is that one effect of her particular style of committed nudism was ostracization - from her family and textile friends. A pretty high cost IMHO.
Ironically, in a way, my x did a similar "coming out" with her Mom. My MIL came over one day after work; my x was nude, and she just opened the door, letting her in before heading back to the kitchen and going about her business, remaining nude. However, there had been discussions about nudism, my MIL knew we'd been socially nude; she was ok with it. Even though this "coming out" might have seemed flamboyant, it was the result of discussions, and the agreement that clothes needn't be worn at home/in front of my MIL. So it was really a "selective coming out".
I would never begrudge someone "coming out selectively." Involving one's kids/granddkids in social/home nudism involves even more discretion since there are people who find the idea of being nude with one's children, around other nude adults and children - to be incomprehensible or even immoral.
In the documentary I linked, Marion Higgins actually talks about losing most of her textile friends after moving to Lake Como. If you're a loner, that may not be a big issue. If you have a large textile social network - probably a bigger issue.
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| FireProf |
Posted - 11/07/2013 : 5:51:49 PM
For me ... the most important people in our lives know and support how it is we live and what we do ... our girls, the one SIL, and our grandkids. They are the ones that count and everyone else ... well, it's there problem if they don't like what we do or who we are.
Having said that ... we have two circles of close friends; our nudist friends and our textile friends. Oddly enough, we're closer to our nudist friends and have only known them 1/2 as long. There's something to say about dropping your clothes and dropping your guard.
My wife's close textile friends probably know but they've never been told outright. My wife has tried a few times to tell them but each time she's tried ... seems one or more of the ladies has something more important for them to discuss and my wife shelves the discussion.
One of her friends moved back up toward us and was looking in the vicinity of Glen Eden Sun Club, our club. When she was telling us about a few homes they looked at, she said ... "we found one we liked but it was too close to the creepy nudie place." Having heard her take on "nudists", my wife decided not to say anything just then. As time has passed, my wife is still wanting to tell them about it but now feels that admitting that we go to the "creepy nudie place", it will make our friend feel bad and stupid. I don't care, my wife does and I understand that. I agree with my wife that ... "is telling them worth it and will it change anything we do? Most likely not." We will continue to be nudists, be members and go to the "creepy nudie place" and if they don't like it ... it's their problem.
We too have been toying with the idea of buying a place at Glen Eden but we'd need a condo for times when non nudist family members would visit. Our girls and grandkids would visit but probably not the rest of the family.
Loves being naked. Plays well with others! |
| Warmskin |
Posted - 11/07/2013 : 4:51:21 PM
It's awful to be a nudist and not be accepted by family and friends. Still, I manage to be a nudist without detection.
I'd like to live at a nudist resort, but that isn't going to happen. I'd have to rent an apartment in a nearby town, and use that as a front. I'd feel like private eye or something.
“I rise early almost every morning and sit in my chamber, without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing.”
Ben Franklin
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| Warmskin |
Posted - 11/07/2013 : 4:39:38 PM
Good question, Nudony,
I would take the approach, if they were my kids, that gives them a choice of nudism, or textilism, without pressuring them. Who likes a high-pressured salesman? Let the grandkids see for themselves if they like a nudist resort they have visited. If they like it, it will be because that is their own decision, and not one that is forced down their throat.
The gift that is given to the kids is that they have a choice, while most other kids will never have that choice.
Just my thoughts.
“I rise early almost every morning and sit in my chamber, without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing.”
Ben Franklin
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| Nudony |
Posted - 11/07/2013 : 08:19:08 AM
Some might remember the National Geographic show/doc "Taboo"; more particularily the episode about nudism. In it was a segment featuring a Lake Como resident, Marion Higggins (?) and her grandkids.
http://www.savevid.com/video/national-geographic-taboo-nudists-1-2.html
http://www.savevid.com/video/national-geographic-taboo-nudists-2-2.html
(the segment starts at 7:50 on the first link)
The oldest granddaughter's comment at the beginning of Part 2 suggests that even though the Mom agreed to let her kids spend time at Lake Como, initally remaining dressed, it was entirely the kids' decision to start "getting naked with Grandma." As evidenced in the documentary.
Now...would a more "drastic" measure such as relocating to a nudist resort or adopting 24/7/365 nudity at home lead to the same positive outcome as the Higgins (?) family?
That the $64,000 question....
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| FireProf |
Posted - 11/06/2013 : 10:05:35 PM
Ours is quite a long story. Many here and on other nudist sites have heard/read it and I hesitate retyping the entire story so I will shorten it extensively and cut to the chase.
Yes, we have experience in the issue you've asked about and in our situation, it came out quite positive. We told our daughters about our continued nudist lifestyle and that we'd taken it public/social. They were being raised as nudists but stopped in the pre-teen years.
They took it well. They initially thought we were swingers but we assured them we were not. We visited many places and told them about them. One place in particular that caught their attention was Club Orient on the island of St. Martin/Sint Maarten. Intrigued them so much that I told them that their mother and I would take them and pay for the trip if they wanted to go but they had to stay at Club Orient. They did not have to be nude but they had to stay and witness and experience what it was "we" did and how we lived and how we vacationed.
By the time the vacation date came, both our daugthers, one son in law and the 4 grandkids (5th not born yet) went with us and partook "completely" in the experience. They loved it and want to go back. Only problem ... "grandma and grandpa" aren't paying for the next trip. That's the ONLY thing holding up all of us returning together.
Since that trip, our daughters have visited our nude beach, visited a resort we frequent and the youngest wants to join our club and AANR. They are by no means "nudists" like we are but they enjoyed themselves each time they've visited a venue, do lots of skinny dipping at home and use their hot tub nude almost always. They have backyard privacy issues that hinder their abilities at times.
All in all ... great and positive experiences. By the way, though we aren't always naked when the grandkids come to visit or stay ... they do see us naked, on occasion, when they come to stay. We don't hide it but don't flaunt it as well.
Loves being naked. Plays well with others! |
| blavan |
Posted - 11/06/2013 : 11:00:25 AM
Are any grandparents having issues with their children and/or in-laws not wanting the grand children being kept by their nudist/naturist grandparents for fear that the grandchildren might be exposed to nudity, or might have the opportunity to be nude, potentially against the wishes of the parents?
In no way would we suggest going against the wishes of the parents. Let's be clear on that.
We have chosen to tell our adult children, and in-laws about our nudist/naturist lifestyle (before they got married) as our children and their spouses were not raised as nudists. We have seen many grandparents with their grandchildren at family nudist resorts, and we are hoping that we too will have the opportunity to visit family nudist resorts with our grandchildren.
This must certainly be an issue for some.
Perhaps this is a question for an additional forum topic.
Any positive experiences in convincing a previously concerned parent?
Any negative experience that still needs effort to mend?
Who has experienced an issue with this?
Being Naked and Being Real |
| blavan |
Posted - 04/01/2012 : 8:53:47 PM
We do not feel it is proper to be nude at home during those times when our friends and family members who are not nudists are visiting. It has never been our intention to shock anyone or have them to feel uncomfortable in any way. Very few of them know that we are nudists. We have learned that most people cannot handle it so why expose them to it.
Being Naked and Being Real |
| n/a |
Posted - 04/01/2012 : 08:42:36 AM
I personally with my family,relatives found that if they were willing to discuss my nudism with me it was only matter of time before I was able to be nude in their presence. But it often is very few out of like 60 family member including extended family etc like 4 are openly ok seeing me walk around nude. |
| n/a |
Posted - 04/01/2012 : 08:25:07 AM
Blavan Do those who do accept you as nudists accept it enough that they do not ask you to be clothed when visiting you? For me that is true acceptance if they just do not mind your a nudist but will not allow you to be nude around them then that is just being supportive not being accepting of nudism. |
| blavan |
Posted - 03/26/2012 : 11:35:02 AM
Our sons, our daughters-in-law and their parents, and extended family members know that we are nudists, but our other relatives in our own families do not know. We felt it was important to tell her family before she and our son were married. She and her family are fine with it as far as we all can see.
The attitudes of most our own relatives are so closed-minded and un-informed that we have decided not to tell them. There are at least a few of them who would be fine with it and might actually want to visit some resorts with us. The negative reactions from the others would be to great to bother telling them. We are still trying to figure out how to tell those we want to know while keeping it away from the others. Things just seem to get out in the open some how, and we expect it will if we tell any of our other relatives. Once you let it out it will spead to everybody. We have found it easier to tell people that we don't know as well than it is to tell family members and many of those we have known the longest. Go figure that one out.
Being Naked and Being Real |
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