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| paulbunyannude |
Posted - 07/20/2009 : 11:38:33 AM
I'm just now getting into the nudist movement, and I don't know how to intergrate it into my family life. It's not that I'm embarassed, it's just that I've been pretty private about them seeing me nude, so they were taken aback with me walking around in the nude the other day. Should I be concerned about their feelings on it, or just continue with the intergration of my new found lifestyle? I love the freedom, and I want to continue with it. Help.
Edited by - Admin to relocate and change title from "Family view". |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Nudony |
Posted - 02/12/2014 : 08:40:05 AM
quote:
Originally posted by gnarlyoldman
[quote]
It is her, not you that needs counseling, but counselors are all trained that women are right and men are bad. They side with the woman and gang up on the man. They also are trained to enforce cultural dogma, so DO NOT go see a counselor. Stand strong, go naked, and let her bitch all she likes. Eventually she will accept the man's decision if he doesn't apologize or kow tow to female tears or emotional manipulation.
Be well
Naked is green.
Not always!
This happened right around he time I was really exploring nudism, being nude at home much of the time and talking about social nudity with my gf on a frequent basis. She was at that stage where she was occasionally nude at home; but social nudity was a complete no-no. Anyway, we did some pre-marital counseling with our pastor. We talked about different things; and nudism came up, rather unexpectedly. My gf complained about feeling pressured to be socially nude. I was taken aback because I never figured I'd have to openly defend nudism; I figured I was in for a grilling. So I explained nudism to our pastor the best I could, from a personal and cultural viewpoint. I also emphasized that I was not pressuring her to be nude; I was merely encouraging her to be comfortable in her own nude skin.
The pastor listened intently to me; then turned to my gf and asked her what exactly her objection to social nudity was. She immediately talked about body acceptance, and the conversation turned to her body-shame; which she talked about intensively.
After he'd listened to both sides, the pastor's response was pretty unexpected. He encouraged me to be more attentive to my gf's body acceptance issues; BUT he also stated that he saw nothing wrong with the idea of social nudity, and advised my gf that perhaps it would be a good experience for her!
I think it was the way I "presented" nudism that made our pastor so open-minded about it. I was pretty articulate and educated about it! It didn't play a huge role in her decision to eventually try nudism; but the encouraging feedback from our pastor certainly stuck in her mind.
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| Horace |
Posted - 02/11/2014 : 08:20:24 AM
I agree with Diger. Whenever anybody tries something new that they perceive as "risky" for whatever reason, they are going to be very cautious. My wife saw nudity outside the home as linked with sexual for a long time. At home in private, no problem. As visit to a c/o beach in the carribean really opened her eyes that being nude wasn't sexual. Within a day she was making friends and starting conversations on the beach just like she would when she is clothed. That said she is still body self concious any acutely aware of being observed. When she observes the gawkers wandering up and down the beach. She covers up. No free show! One thing that helped for me was when my wife early on complained about me being nude around the house I asked her to read up on it and to really think about what harm was I causing. She also has seen how. "Naked time". Really relaxes us, shedding the stresses of the "real" world. My buddy and I even had a men's "spa" nite the other night. We took a sauna and then relaxed in the hot tub with a scotch and a cigar. All in -20F weather My friend agreed it was a great time and a great way to be nude outside in the dead of winter. |
| Diger |
Posted - 02/10/2014 : 3:49:51 PM
Relax and think Baby Steps... you will not change her over night. It will take time so concentrate on small things first let her accept your nudity before working on her. A pool or hot tub will give her more of a reason to try skinny dipping. Something about that word sounds more acceptable than Nudist or Naturist. That's how I got Angie to give it a try, she really enjoyed skinny dipping in our little aboveground pool.
Don't give up hope she will surprise you someday.
Diger |
| Nude in AK |
Posted - 02/10/2014 : 10:01:03 AM
Thanks all for the input and support. Things are still fluid and it will be interesting to see where this goes. I understand the different thought processes but hope that the wife relaxes a little more. What is interesting is that last summer I was nude most of the summer and had 'no tan lines' and the wife did not seems to care too much. She was concerned and requested that I have a pair of short close by, which was not a problem. That only made sense. Trying to get her to understand how good it feels to be working outside in the nude, at this time seems to be an uphill battle. OH well! |
| gnarlyoldman |
Posted - 02/10/2014 : 09:46:21 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Nude in AK
OK folks, help me out here a little. I have enjoyed being nude off an on for many years, just I was a little more secretive about it. Since I have retired and am no longer in a position that I need to watch my "P & Q's" so to speak, I have been nude a LOT more often. However the wife has a completely different take on this and it is getting to her. Unlike me, she will not even get out of bed with out have a t-shirt, a hoodie and sweat pants on. Last summer she did not say much as I worked out side in the nude as much as possible. I would keep shorts close by for the 'chance' that someone might come by. It has gotten to the point that she believes that I need counseling. I have attempted to talk to her about my feelings but for the time being she is closed minded.
Suggestions!
Wives worry more about "what will the neighbors think" and not about what makes her husband have a good life. Of course the neighbors wouldn't even know if she didn't tell them, but women are gossips so what she knows the woman down the street knows. It is her, not you that needs counseling, but counselors are all trained that women are right and men are bad. They side with the woman and gang up on the man. They also are trained to enforce cultural dogma, so DO NOT go see a counselor. Stand strong, go naked, and let her bitch all she likes. Eventually she will accept the man's decision if he doesn't apologize or kow tow to female tears or emotional manipulation.
Be well
Naked is green. |
| Horace |
Posted - 02/10/2014 : 08:14:15 AM
Our nudity and family has been an evolution. We were very relaxed and frequently nude in our home as a couple but we lived in the city and had to choose whether to leave the blinds open and see the world or be nude behind closed blinds. So we chose the former for the most part. Camping or in private we enjoyed nudity together. On the arrival of our kids we were nude around them and showers and hot tub time was one great big skinny dip. As they got older. We were all nude less and less. Not sure why, practicality probably. Now that they are adults, I'm returning to nudity at home as a more frequent practice. Our 18 year old daughter, when she catches me just rolls her eyes and tells me to put some clothes on and out of respect for her, I do. When we are at the lake house everyone knows that dad takes his lake baths au naturale. My wife is 1/2 and 1/2. She has no problem being nude around me or around the house when we are home alone, cold weather excepted and we live in northern climes. Recently in our middle age we visited a c/o beach and resort. She jumped right in. Her public nudity fear factor went from 10 to about 5. Mine went from 6 to 0. Honestly. I think most individuals and families are on a continuum. With different thoughts regarding home vs. public, Comfort with family nude vs. participating in family nudity. My son has caught me nude and was amused, but shared that his girlfriend might think it was "creepy". I would characterize my family nudity gauge as comfortable. I have no desire to make family members uncomfortable. If I'm on the deck nude and they want to join me clothed or not, great! If we are all sitting down for dinner and I come to dinner nude, it would be awkward and uncomfortable for them, and by extension, me, so I dress. This evolution is incrementally moving my family towards a naturist leaning philosophy. Which I think is great! |
| blavan |
Posted - 02/08/2014 : 11:59:00 AM
We have enjoyed the freedom of being naked at home inside since the day we were married. It has always seemed like the natural way to be in the privacy of home. We do not have enough privacy to go naked outside at home. The exception is that we did not raise our child and sometimes, when she stayed with us, our niece nude because we were concerned about what stupid misconceptions from others outside of our home could lead to. He had only seen us nude like when just coming out of the shower occasionally. When our child became an adult and we then began to experience social nudity, we told him we were skinny dippers who went nude whenever we could. He accepted that even though he still is not a nudist.
It just seems puzzling to us that two people who are married and at least somewhat compatible would find it difficult to agree on something as simple and harmless as being naked at home.
Some of our extended family members also know that we go nude when we can. There might be some who will object in your family as there are in ours. When we treat nudity as a normal healthy way to live then other family members are more likely to do so as well.
Being Naked and Being Real |
| Nudony |
Posted - 02/01/2014 : 2:28:27 PM
Went through a similar scenario; except I was in the early stages of my relationship as opposed to...later? I'm just assuming here that you have been married for a number of years; that might make your wife's resistance to your nudism...stronger.
I had just graduated from college, was newly married and working 2nd shift. That's when I decided to not wear clothes anymore at home during the day. Her reaction to it went from amused, to annoyed...and sometimes even angry. Sometimes she would make disparaging comments, I guess meant to humiliate me into putting clothes back on. And I almost gave up and put my clothes back on a couple of times. But my need to be nude would ultimately take over and I'd end up naked again. She really wasn't a happy camper about it; and regarded it as deviant behavior.
But there was a slow progression, over time. She started getting used to it. She stopped making hurtful comments. During that same time I started buying nudist books and mags and leaving them lying around. Every so often she'd pick one up and read an article or look at the pictures. Then we started talking about the articles and having conversations about what she liked or didn't like about nudism. At least we got the conversation going. And as we talked about nudism, we also talked about her own feelings about her nudity. "Why did she sleep dressed? Why did she close the doors when she showered or changed?" And the more we discussed it, the more she took under consideration the fact that she really didn't need to sleep dressed, and really didn't need to close doors all the time.
My suggestion number one would be: stick to it! My second suggestion would be to get the conversation going; if it fails the first or second or third time, keep at it (without harassing her of course) while presenting your nudism as a philosophical choice and movement.
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| Nude in AK |
Posted - 02/01/2014 : 10:31:11 AM
OK folks, help me out here a little. I have enjoyed being nude off an on for many years, just I was a little more secretive about it. Since I have retired and am no longer in a position that I need to watch my "P & Q's" so to speak, I have been nude a LOT more often. However the wife has a completely different take on this and it is getting to her. Unlike me, she will not even get out of bed with out have a t-shirt, a hoodie and sweat pants on. Last summer she did not say much as I worked out side in the nude as much as possible. I would keep shorts close by for the 'chance' that someone might come by. It has gotten to the point that she believes that I need counseling. I have attempted to talk to her about my feelings but for the time being she is closed minded.
Suggestions! |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/19/2012 : 11:56:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by rooftopwilly
Just 2 months ago I said I don't go nude in front of my mom, well it happened. I was in town staying at her house because my aunt (her sister) passed away and I was there for the funeral. I made mention that I forgot to pack any pajamas, because I don't wear any and didn't even think of bringing some shorts. She just made a mention about sleeping in my underwear. So anyhow, that first night, I went to bed, naked of course. I sleep on the fold out couch in the living room. I laid down, then remembered I didn't turn the ringer off of my cell phone, which was plugged in in the kitchen, plus I had to use the bathroom. The kitchen is just a few steps directly from my mom's bedroom door. So I got up, naked and went out to turn the ringer off. As I was doing so, my mom got up to go to the bathroom and walked right out the door, staring directly at me. The bathroom is right there, so she just went in without saying a word. So I just waited there for her to finish and when she came out, I was still standing there. She just said "goodnight" and went back to bed. Never said a word about it the following day either.
I had similar situation with the MIL though just more like in the mornings running into each other but she doesnt enjoy it at all but she tolerated it. I dont find it true anymore to think if you go nude around them more often they will just get used to it and accept it , truth to me is just makes them more against it. And to further support that which I said originally here my MIL in the past few weeks or around a week after I posted this reply finally said my open nudity around her made her highly uncomfortable since it went beyond her original exposure time where she said before that moments of nudity are ok but not being nude for hours in a row. So for her acceptable encounters are like those of walking into the room seeing you changing clothes and seeing you nude etc but to just see someone walk around house nude for more then a moment, offends her. |
| Warmskin |
Posted - 09/12/2009 : 10:05:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by nakeddan
I agree with Bob. They get used to it. Just today, my wife came home early and "caught" me getting some sun nude in the backyard. None of the neighbors can see me, and it was no big deal. She just accepted it as normal. Even though she doesn't want to join me, she is now accepting the fact that I love to be naked. I love to swim naked and sun naked. I've been sleeping nude with her for about 15 years now. I shower and dress with the door open. My kids are older now and they love to be naked also. My wife just feels outnumbered but won't join us. That's fine. Either you are into the freedom and body acceptance, or not. I'm just glad she doesn't mind. Stay naked!
As a Libertarian, myself, I think you have the ideal household. Everybody gets his/her way regardless of preference. How fortunate you folks are with your arrangement. Perhaps the wife will want to try being nude some time later. You never know. Sometimes it is easier to join the majority, than to stand out as the only one not participating. Wouldn't be nice if she joined your side at some future time?
"The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home."
James Madison
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| Diger |
Posted - 09/12/2009 : 09:28:05 AM
LOL ... Bet the look on her face was priceless?
Diger |
| rooftopwilly |
Posted - 09/12/2009 : 01:12:10 AM
Just 2 months ago I said I don't go nude in front of my mom, well it happened. I was in town staying at her house because my aunt (her sister) passed away and I was there for the funeral. I made mention that I forgot to pack any pajamas, because I don't wear any and didn't even think of bringing some shorts. She just made a mention about sleeping in my underwear. So anyhow, that first night, I went to bed, naked of course. I sleep on the fold out couch in the living room. I laid down, then remembered I didn't turn the ringer off of my cell phone, which was plugged in in the kitchen, plus I had to use the bathroom. The kitchen is just a few steps directly from my mom's bedroom door. So I got up, naked and went out to turn the ringer off. As I was doing so, my mom got up to go to the bathroom and walked right out the door, staring directly at me. The bathroom is right there, so she just went in without saying a word. So I just waited there for her to finish and when she came out, I was still standing there. She just said "goodnight" and went back to bed. Never said a word about it the following day either.
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| NudeAl |
Posted - 07/23/2009 : 12:49:09 AM
Like the Nike add says just do it. I would try to be aware of other sensibilities but after all they are yor family they will accept you no matter what.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. -- Robert Frost
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| rooftopwilly |
Posted - 07/21/2009 : 5:18:03 PM
What family are we talking about here? Wife and kids? Parents, brothers & sisters?
I don't go nude in front of my mom, brothers or sisters, but in front of my wife and daughter I do. I've done it since my daughter was a baby so she's used to it (7 now). I also will go naked in front of my wife's sisters because they are French and much more open to the idea. I think I can go naked in front of my mom, since she did raise me after all. She had a slight problem with it when I was a kid and would sleep naked, but as an adult, she knows I do it, I just don't do it in front of her. My brothers & sister are too prudish though.
I would recommend talking it over with them as some others have pointed out already.
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