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| asmodee |
Posted - 01/13/2007 : 10:06:41 AM
I have been posting a bit but realized today that I had inadvertently hijacked someone else's thread, so I am starting my own to continue the conversation. I welcome comments from anyone who finds the conversation interesting.
Where I left the conversation in the wrong thread was a question about taking the kids to a clothing optional resort. My wife and I are not quite to that point yet, but she is definitely not opposed to the idea of nudism. I think she has some reservations about her body, which, of course, makes no difference to nudists at all, but it does to her.
The reason for a clothing optional resort is that I do not want to force nudism on the kids. If they are comfortable with it, wonderful. If they are not, they would not have to be nude.
Here was the question. When planning the trip, should we try to get the kids used to the idea first by explaining it to them in advance and let them run around the house nude first? Should we not mention anything until we are on the way and then tell them what they can expect when we get there? Or should we just go and not even mention it like there is nothing unusual about the trip and just answer their questions as they arise?
I know that the kids are not exactly going to be traumatized however we do it, but I want to make them as comfortable as possible with the idea should we decide to take such a trip. That decision is entirely up to my wife. She has to be comfortable with it before we even get the kids involved of course.
Notice: This moderator, operating under username 'Moderator', has been terminated for repeatedly censoring or altering posts without providing a clear indication of which policy was being enforced. Her actions were not sanctioned by this organization. |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| nudistmale1956 |
Posted - 04/13/2007 : 8:47:42 PM
I would go with checking out a club associated with AANR. As far as I know, they are all family oriented.
I use to go nude around my daughters when they were real young. They would to. We would take baths and showers sometimes too. My take was always not to force anyone to do anything. That applies to more than just kids. When my girls started getting a sense of modesty the showes and baths ended and soon the nudism in general. They are not nudist now, but well aware that I am.
What is strange is that a woman I dated and took to nudism. She had a daughter of 11 and a boy of 9. The girl friend and I would go nude in the house and not make a bid deal of it. Neither did the kids. One their mother asked if they wanted to go to the resort. They came along. They were shy at first, but took to it quick once they saw other kids playing in the pool.
Everyone is different. |
| SoundScience |
Posted - 02/20/2007 : 10:59:50 PM
Cheri, I agree that non-affiliated clubs, resorts, and the like can be perfectly safe. And sometimes inappropriate things happen at affiliated clubs. But I think the probability of having a safe and positive experience likely is higher at an affiliated club. This is particularly true for someone expressing these reservations. If he is going to take his family to a club for the first time, and if it is his first time as well, then an affiliated club almost certainly would be a good experience. You have to do some research and really be familiar with particular clubs to go to a non-affiliated club -- not the best choice for a first time if one expresses those reservations. That said, I think he will find that these clubs are far safer than a textile campground, and that is important. Asmodee, I would suggest e-mailing Cheri for advice on specific locations if you have any questions, because she is extremely knowledgeable and trustworthy. |
| Cheri |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 7:19:08 PM
SoundScience, There are non-affiliated parks and clubs and hot springs and B&Bs around. Some of them are truly g-rated and family-friendly than one or three of the AANR parks. The first one that comes to mind is Whispering Pines at the SC/NC border just over the Myrtle Beach, SC border at Ocean Isle Beach, NC. It is one of the most g-rated parks I've ever visited.
The remainder of your note is very sound.
Regards, Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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| SoundScience |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 12:12:41 PM
There is a very simple answer to asmodee's concerns. First, as others have suggested, just go to a resort and see for yourself. Second, choose an AANR or Naturist Society member resort. That is your "seal of approval". Don't go to other nudist resorts because they probably aren't members for a reason. Third, once you go you will discover that people who are admitted are screened (that is the true purpose of the tour of which you speak; the tourguide is paying attention to your reactions) and typically a form of ID is required and photocopied for the resort's records. For this reason, these resorts are among the safest places to be. No private or public campground does this kind of screening or retains records like this. Such resorts become havens of safety in this world -- just the opposite of what you fear. This does not mean that they are completely removed from the outside reality, and the fact that they remove offenders doesn't mean that they are havens for offenders; it means just the opposite. Frankly, unless you plan to raise your children in a bubble, this is the best you can do. |
| allnaturalwife |
Posted - 02/13/2007 : 2:41:00 PM
Exactly Ewell39..Wneh we are born we are nudists..its society and parents that "convert" young children into NON Nudists..NOT the other way around.
Jennifer
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| ewell39 |
Posted - 02/12/2007 : 9:08:05 PM
Maria and I have found that our 6 year old daughter loves nudity at home. The 15 year old teen son is into it as long as he doesn't have his peers from school visiting. If children are around nude parents from the beginning there will never be a problem with the upbringing in that lifestyle. Enjoy discussing all aspects of nudism at. ewell39@msn.com ![]()
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ewell allen |
| zippoman1950 |
Posted - 02/10/2007 : 1:13:04 PM
Well....as you just noticed with the bathing with your daughter...nudity is much less a big deal to kids than us adults!
Good start tho..keep it up.. the kids enjoy both the baths and the company especially if they are into bath toys at all...my girls loved having someone else with them to play with...just as they do were they fully clothed and out of the tub.
carl b johnson |
| asmodee |
Posted - 02/10/2007 : 12:27:57 PM
I generally read this forum at work (I own and am currently the sole employee of a computer store) and, though I always check the "active topics since your last visit" section, often I have a customer come in and have to close the page as soon as I've clicked, so I just re-found this thread.
I do realize that it is not a big problem, IF you go to the right place. It is only natural to worry and, before we actually made the decision to go to any resort or beach, I would do a lot of research, including asking the opinions of everyone here. My wife also works with a nudist who, I am sure, would be happy to give suggestions.
My wife likes the idea of taking the whole family along to a nudist resort. The tone of her voice when I asked her about that tells me that she thinks she would enjoy that. She is put off by the idea of JUST the family going nude, for some reason. I don't think she has really put a lot of thought into it and she obviously has not been talking to you wonderful people. I have taken the first step and have started sleeping nude whether she does or not. I have also gotten her to change from coming to bed fully clothed (literally kick off the shoes and climb into bed) to sleeping in T-shirt and panties before ever finding this place, so I have made a start.
Right now, I'm just being easy going about it and trying to impress upon the kids that it's not a big deal. The other day I was taking a hot bath after work and my 6 year old daughter came in to use the bathroom. Afterwards, she sat there on the edge of the tub just talking to me for about 15 minutes, occasionally saying, "I like hot baths." Finally I chuckled and told her to get in, which she did readily. I did not stay in the tub long after that (it was a little strange for me the first time, admittedly), but long enough to convey the fact that it was not a big deal. I then sent her younger brother up to take a bath with her, which they both love. I think I am going to have to get used to taking cooler baths. My wife tried to hand the youngest to me in the tub a couple of months ago, but my water would have scalded her. I wish we had a nice big tub where the wife and I could play with the youngest. She loves to splash. Maybe a hot tub is in my family's future.
It's a start and I like where it is going. I am and always have been a relatively patient man and I am realizing that the idea is going to take a little getting used to for me as well as my family. Not raised in the lifestyle, it is a little different actually DOING than it seems it will be when you are only THINKING. |
| bk_yd_nude |
Posted - 01/22/2007 : 11:08:12 PM
I agree with Nudony, my wife has been ungoing a "soft sell" in other words, I am not pushing her, but she is coming around. Our children were not confronted with nudity, nor was it hidden. The human body is not something to be ashamed of, nor should it be suddenly covered if the kids happen into an area where you are unclothed. Now that our children are all grown with young ones of their own, we see our attitude has carried over and doors tend not to be closed and as an example, nursing the youngest is not hidden, but done in an open and honest manner. I only wish that I would have been an active nudist earlier in life and could have brought my family fully into the nudist life. Oh, well .. better later then never. Good luck asmodee, I think all will work out just fine.
Nudity - enjoy it with abandon but tempered by discretion.
bk_yd_nude |
| Nudony |
Posted - 01/22/2007 : 10:47:01 PM
Now that I have more information, I think the best logical step would be for your first trip to a resort to just involve you and your wife. That way:
1 - You'll be able to judge for yourself the type of environment the resort you choose to visit has to offer.
2 - You'll be able to gauge how far your wife is willing to go and how comfortable she is in a nudist environment.
For my wife, it took 2-3 trips before she was comfortable going completely nude, and bringing our 3 year-old daughter. Some women go nude on their very first trip; other have a bit longer "warm-up" process. Very few women immediately swear off nudism. Once your wife, and yourself, experience, discuss and draw your conclusions about nudism, you'll be able to conclude whether you want the kids involved or not. You cannot draw conclusions from the posts and contris you've read, here or anywhere else. You have to get out there and experience it for yourselves.
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| allnaturalwife |
Posted - 01/22/2007 : 3:06:51 PM
I agree Diger. Although, many times I wish there were NEVER ANY issues at family resorts regarding innapropriate behavour. That is unrealisitic. We have three girls who we have practically raised at nudist clubs and beaches. I feel that asmodee is overthinking the whole thing. You might discover that nudist clubs are actually quite a safe environment for children. Asmodee is correct in saying that nudism and swinging should be practised separeately. That is true. And at most of the family oriented resorts, for the most part that is the case.
Jennifer |
| Diger |
Posted - 01/22/2007 : 2:49:59 PM
Asmodee,
In my humble opinion the best thing you can do is quit overanalyzing it and just do it. Get out there and visit a Resort or a Beach, the imagination is far scarier than reality.
Diger |
| asmodee |
Posted - 01/22/2007 : 12:23:20 PM
Let me start off with an apology to everyone. For the second time I read a thread about nudism and sexual escapades crossing and it scares me. I get a little carried away sometimes.
Please know that I do not judge all nudist facilities by the acts of a few. You must admit, however, that there are nudist facilities which say nothing of swinging or blatant sexual activities in their ads, but are friendly toward those activities, nonetheless. From the threads I am reading on this site it looks to me as if this is becoming more and more a problem. I do not have a problem with such locations, so long as whatever is allowed to happen there is clearly stated in a disclaimer. For instance, I know that when I go to a nudist resort, I have agreed to suspend the laws concerning public nudity while at that resort. However, in some of the thread I read there was blatant sexual activity. I would never agree to go to a place where those laws were suspended and neither did the person posting, but he/she ended up there anyway. Some of the stories are of blatant sexual predators who skirt the very edge of the law with the things they do with unwilling participants, threatening a loss of money and a place to stay if you do not comply. How scary is it to be in another state and suddenly be told that if you don't do something you will not only not get your money back, but you will have to leave? How much can you afford to spend on a vacation you've already paid for once?
Thank you, everyone, for the psychoanalysis, but the diagnoses are quite incorrect. I was very much decided in what I wanted before reading about these 'bad apples'. There were no excuses, just the rantings of a father and a husband who saw a threat to his family. I am a very logical thinker but, as you have seen, I do get emotional from time to time. The truth is that I do not know how big a threat these 'bad apples' are to my family because I've never been to a nudist facility. All of you have the benefit of experience. You KNOW who to trust and where to go. I do not, so it is only natural that bad apples scare me more than they do you. Why wouldn't they? I don't even know what the percentage chance that I will run into one of these bad places will be. If it weren't for the threads I read, I wouldn't even know that such bad apples existed. If experienced nudists have had experiences at places like this, why would it not scare someone who is nervous already with the standard first-timer feelings of inadequacy?
I am not blaming nudism for these bad places. Quite the contrary. My perception is that they are using the term 'nudism' to attract good people to be used to give sexual gratification to perverts. They may not be making actual sexual contact, but imagine being paraded around in the nude in front of a bunch of people, all wearing towels and all staring at you intently. Rape is about control, not sex, and that is as close as it comes without actual physical contact.
As for skipping steps, I don't really have a choice. My wife wouldn't mind taking the kids to a nudist resort, but I can't get her to sleep nude. She thinks it would be weird to go on a naturist camping trip with the kids. I do not presume to have complete control in my household and my wife, while not interested, is not committed to the idea. It's more like it doesn't bother her than it actually interests her.
Please be aware that my post was not an attack on nudism. I see nudism as a beautiful thing. It's those 'bad apples' that scare me. I do not, for one instant, believe that they are the norm or that true nudism is any less a beautiful thing because of them. I do not see any common ground between nudism and the scary things in the threads I was reading. But I DO see that these people are trying to draw nudists as entertainment for their other guests. The point wasn't that nudism was bad because these two things are the same. The point was that some resorts a |
| zippoman1950 |
Posted - 01/21/2007 : 10:04:03 PM
I'd just like to add that I know of no AANR affiliated resorts that promote or accept swinging as a part of nudism...any I have ever attended with my late wife and daughters and even since their passing fully disdain the swinging lifestyle and promote wholesum family activites where people of any age can enjoy and feel safe and comfortable. I think a little bit of research into any resort you plan on attending should be done regardless of whether it's you alone, you and the wife or the whole family.
I also totally agree with Nudony's and Diger's posts.
I suppose we could all blame "a few bad apples" and let them ruin any activiy we decided to choose...from bowling to golf....much less nudism.
carl b johnson |
| Nudony |
Posted - 01/21/2007 : 3:44:25 PM
It seems, with all due respect, that you are trying to use the few bad elements in nudism to justify your indecision. Swinging resorts are actually a very small percentage; and all you have to do to eliminate that issue is to do some homework. I've been to many resort with my family, and not once have stumbled upon illicit activities. The "trick" with nudism is that you cannot be indecisive: cautious, yes; but not indecisive. You have to develop a strategy, and then pursue it. The first step is to show comfort and naturalness in nudity; you cannot accomplish this by going nude just once in a blue moon, or encouraging the kids to be nude when you are not nude yourself.
I also think you are trying to jump steps. IMHO, one should not attempt the nudist resort until nudity at home is a common non-event; that eliminates the "shock" factor and the potential for the first-time resort experience to turn out bad. To accomplish this, you have to lead by example. If you encouraged your kids to go nude just that once, and left it at that, you cannot expect them to just continue by themselves; you have to continually motivate them until a pattern/routine is established. Most of the people I've talked have used daily bath/shower time to get their kids gradually used to seeing them nude; in most cases, the kids get used to it and ultimately join them. Some people, such as allnaturalwife, elect the more radical method of simply not wearing clothes at home under most circumstances; all her kids are nudists. These are but two common methods.
But you have to evaluate for yourself whether you want nudism as a part of your way of life, or just as an occasional recreational activity. If you are solely interested in an occasional activity, then maybe a trip with just your wife would be sufficient.
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