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| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| modmolie |
Posted - 04/03/2013 : 07:18:57 AM
Hope you enjoy.
My Introduction to Naturism
Many years ago I met my now wife. She was 16 and a naturist with her family. I was brought up very conservative with a strong view that the body should only be enjoyed by those you fancied; and the next exciting step a boy could take after the kissing stage. It seemed the accepted views of a typical teenage boy; do you remember the old ‘I hit first base with my girlfriend last night‘ statements at school
Anyway, as you can hopefully appreciate, my schoolboy views were totally torn apart – there wasn’t that wonderful 3rd base. There wasn’t that first time, scared nude achievement I always thought about in my youth. Instead I was going out with someone who for years had thought nothing of walking around nude in public. However, she had been told never to talk about her naturism to anyone, which backed my view of a seedy culture that I couldn’t talk to others about for advice; neither mine nor her friends. We had a major clash and I felt alone.
We broke up numerous times with constant images of her walking around not caring about old men looking at her. This went on for two long and painful years with attempts to accept this by attending her club (once) and visiting Studland nudist beach. It also didn’t help that she understood naturism but didn’t really enjoy it, particularly from her teens; but she had a very controlling father.
The next generation
Many years went on, I’m now 41 and she 39 and have lived the textile way since she left her club at 17 and moved in with me. We have two lovely daughters with the older starting to be aware of her body parts; we gave her ‘the talk’ recently. Recently she started complaining that her younger 7 year old sister was dressing in front of her. This rang alarm bells to me.
She is at that age of being conscious of changes to her body; however I’m starting to see my conservative past in her views and reactions. Additionally, my wife has gone the other way and covers up most of the time.
As such my wife and I have agreed to be more open, talking openly about our past experience and naturism and recently I have been happy to walk around the house nude when the opportunity offers it i.e. painting a cupboard or the cross-trainer. My wife still covers up.
Things are making progress; my daughter wanted to paint some cupboards recently and started to take her clothes off – but backed off. She isn’t complaining anymore about her sister and isn’t shocked with my body.
I can’t see us being a naturist family, but a nude accepting textile family i.e. the odd nude beach if we stroll onto it, happy to socialise with others that are nude, etc.
Am I holding back? The question is, if we start attending nude clubs then I expose my daughters to the culture that is tabooed by many and they could go through the heartache my wife went through all those years ago. OK, I was the extreme but I don’t want to place them in this potential situation if they don't need to.
My daughters are not interested, and therefore why, unlike my wife’s father, force it on them? They can experiment nudity in the house if and only if they so wish. If they like it then we would be happy to take things further. We just need to be open enough to allow them to raise it to us. This we are trying with open conversations and our nude DIY.
There are some horrid websites, and an industry, out there that abuse naturism with voyeur pictures and videos. There are also some very questionable naturist website forums that worry me, questioning the mind of some so called naturists. I don’t want to place my daughters in such as situation.
The club my wife attended seemed nice enough, to be honest I was only there one day (that was a big mistake as I should have stayed a week to adjust and understand naturism). However, this would have bored me and definitely my kids. They also wouldn’t understand the benefit of removing their cloths to swim rather than going to an adventure pool with their mates from school.
One thing that concerns me is the greater number of male over female naturists and the need to mostly have females on the cover of H&M – with the odd couple.
Conclusion
So I guess my conclusion is this. There are different people in the world with many different views – wouldn’t it be boring otherwise. People need to tolerate others and their beliefs, experiment and open their minds, even if they don’t totally agree. There is never a black-or-white answer and a tad of grey is acceptable and allows a healthier mental attitude when children are growing up. Children learn and pickup their parent’s and society’s attitudes and this causes yet another generation to taboo rather than challenge perceptions. As parents we need to understand our own issues.
The internet is a great form of information; however it does make me feel very protective of my daughters and whether voyeurs are around or the intentions of some naturists. I wish my daughters to be open and happy with themselves, their bodies, others views and true naturism (but still have hang-ups from my upbringing and not helped by some naturists views out there).
We will inform them and lay the foundations for them to make their own decisions in life, protect them and listen to them as they go.
So this is where I am in my life. Happy to keep you periodically informed on our progress
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| 3 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| modmolie |
Posted - 04/04/2013 : 04:58:41 AM
OK, I’m learning the hard way.
As mentioned previously, I am being more open with my daughters so they become more accepting to each other (see initial thread story above).
Yesterday I had to replace a wooden support under the sofa. This was both a fiddly and exhausting job and after an hour I thought it appropriate to strip.
However, visitors for my wife’s party (hence I had to get the sofa fixed) turned up an hour early and had brought guests from Germany. This would have been fine if my wife hadn’t forgotten about me naked behind the sofa with my clothes in the kitchen, the other side of the entrance hallway. 
Luckily my eldest was in the lounge with me. She retrieved my clothes but I still have that feeling that she waved them in front of our guests as she ran across the hall – particularly as they mentioned that I had a reputation of running around naked when drunk at parties (I only did it twice!).
...or I could just be paranoid as all this is very new to me.
Again, my wife found it most amusing
To be continued...
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| modmolie |
Posted - 04/03/2013 : 09:57:44 AM
Thanks for your intuitive reply Nudony
I wouldn’t state I’m interested in nudism; rather being more open in my attitude for my daughters recently – and I guess myself to be honest. You can’t live your life with hang-ups as it eats away at you and my daughter started making her views very strong to her sister.
Interesting thoughts on the club my wife attended. It was the BDOC in England – with our weather I think you can guess that it is clothes optional. I will see how things go, however suggesting visiting BDOC would probably bring up bad memories with my wife based on my past reaction many moons ago. I have shown my daughter the club’s website and carefully chosen pictures from the internet so she gets the point – but I very much appreciate that it isn’t the same as being there. My wife has also raised the valid point that she is at that age of being self-conscious of herself, and I don't want to make a big issue - just slight reassurances and advise.
Additionally I don’t know where my wife stands on this. After agreeing how to deal with the girls, she covers up but laughed out loud when I got embarrassed the other day walking into the room nude and she was on the phone to her parents (yes on the phone to her naturist family – don’t laugh Nudony!).
I need to talk to the family regarding the club idea; however my previous comment on strolling onto a beach should possibly be an action this year.
Thanks again for your advise Nudony
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| Nudony |
Posted - 04/03/2013 : 08:47:22 AM
Interesting family dynamic. Interested in nudism and married to an ex-nudist with non-nudist kids. I don't think I've encountered that before.
Honestly, if you're ambivalent about involving your daughters in social nudism; then the odds are they won't experience it - and you won't know whether they can grow into it or not.
When I brought my daughter into social nudism, it was never with the intention of "forcing" her to be nude. It was with the intention of introducing her to nude recreation, and seeing if she could be comfortable being nude in a clothesfree environment. The answer was quick. It was Yes. Granted she was a small child on Day 1; but throughout the years she showed no particular inclination towards covering up, and I never told her to take anything off. Your FIL had a different approach. That doesn't mean you have to do the same.
Years later, when she started becoming self-conscious, it was also a simple (yet slightly painful) decision: nudity was out. No forcing, no pressure.
I think another part of your ambivalence is stemming from what you've seen on the internet or in magazines. The real nudist world is nothing like what you see on the internet. In years of social nudism there were never any incidents with my daughter. None. Just fun-filled days of being social with friends and other kids.
My personal advice - which you can take or leave - is at the very least to ask your daughters if they'd like to visit the resort their Mom grew up in. I think it'd be an interesting piece of family history. What are the resort's rules when it comes to nudity? Could the girls stay dressed during their visit? If that's the case then you don't have to feel you're forcing anything. If they want to keep their clothes on, you can let them. If they decide they do want to get nude to get in the pool, you can let them. If they're bored, you can just leave early. No pressure, no forcing.
Just food for thought!
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