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Raul Ragbhir
New Member
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 Posted - 06/11/2006 : 09:46:08 AM
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Hi everyone, I am a new member. I need an advice from some experienced nudists. I am visiting Europe at the moment and finishing up my masters degree. My parents back at home are arranging for me to meet with some women when I return hopefully to get married to. (This is a common practice in some families in that there are arranged marriages).
I see this could be a problem because my parents know nothing about the practices I would like to inculcate in my life, i.e. nudism. Actually I never knew about nudism being so open and accepted until I came to Europe. I have always thought I was different since I always had to hide my true self but when I came here and saw acceptance in the culture. However I have to still hide my true self from my friends and family.
I raised the topic of nudism with friends to hear what they have to say but they think I am strange. I have no doubt that my parents may think the same. At the moment I am not engaged nor have a girlfriend because I am engrossed in studying.
In the next two months after completing my degree I would be going back home.
1. How do I break the news about the life I want to live and especially the girl, which will not be a nudist?
2. For me I would like to live in a nudist community and raise a family there, but where? (I am considering relocation)
3. do you think that it make sence to even consider a non-nudist for marriage?
4. Also I am seriously thinking of waiting and going to some nudist groups and participating hopefully I can meet someone there who has the same way of thinking. But what kind of conduct should I maintain in that setting since nudism has a code of conduct to consider when with the opposite sex.
Can any one share their thoughts on this? (Sorry for being so long)
Regards,
Raul Ragbhir.
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Edited by - Raul Ragbhir on 06/24/2006 5:31:39 PM
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NaturistDoc
Forum Member
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Posted - 06/11/2006 : 2:08:02 PM
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First of all, congratulations on being the first person to use the word "inculcate" on this forum! On a more serious note, I think your idea of waiting and getting involved with nudist groups makes a lot of sense. Trying to reoncile nudism and a culturally conservative family is something best done gradually ... and there is no guarantee it can be done at all. Good luck!
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ggwydion
Forum Member
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Posted - 06/11/2006 : 7:02:00 PM
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You seem to have an interesting problem and I think that we need some more inforamation before anyone could advise you on this issue. Where are you from and where would your parents like you to settle. Masters degrees are not cheep, what kind of responsibalities to you have. Not being awair of arranged marrage customs in you country I have to ask how your family would take to you not going through with this thing or if you even care. As for where to go, I have heard the the western United States is nice. Being an eastern US resident I would stongly discourage Maryland or Virginia. Please do give us some more inforamation so that we can better advise you and good luck.
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pilot
Forum Member
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Posted - 06/11/2006 : 10:12:55 PM
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I have recently watched one of my trainees enter into an arranged marriage. It was the second attempt. the first was called off at the last minute because of irreconciliable differences.
Although arranged marriages are unusual in the USA, they remain common in many parts of the world. Whereas in the past the happy couple had no say in the process, more modern arranged marriages seem to allow for expression of preference and the understanding that some "chemistry" will be required to make the union successful and stable.
It seems worthwhile writing down--and even ranking--the things that you value most in your life and what you would hope to share with a partner. One thing for sure--you are marrying a person, and not the entire family. It is therefore important that you understand how your values--and your (potential) wife's values--mesh. Such a discussion seems essential before entering into a relationship.
Nudism/naturism is not a value, but rather an expression of a set of values that relate the physical body to the (natural) environment and to the human spirit. Understanding those values and what they relate--and affirming that your life partner has at least a complimentary philosophy seems reasonable.
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bornnude
Forum Member
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Posted - 06/12/2006 : 07:53:01 AM
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Raul,
This is a situation not unlike those of us who discover nudism after being married for years.
Where is your home country? India?
If you are planning to go through with your parents wishes, you could break the news to your future wife prior to marriage and see how she reacts also.
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Raul Ragbhir
New Member
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Posted - 06/12/2006 : 08:57:33 AM
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thanks for the suggestions everyone but i think that there is more information that is needed.
thanks Nuturist Doc i think waiting is and getting involved in a naturist group is a good idea too. I am in spain, madrid at the moment. i looked on the net but no luck of places to venture. do you know of any groups here? the spanish language also is a bumber!
Ggydion well my parents would like me to explore the world and since i am studying petroleum it should not be difficult to relocate. actually i am getting responses from Denmark at the moment. but i must say the US and Canada is always open. but Europe is always my first choice.
Pilot i must say i value your advice. actually i find myself trying to please others and compromising what i really want. and i guess starting a family is no little thing. i have to add though that ´the one´ that i eventually settle down with would have to compromise if she is not a nudist unless if she tries it and takes to it. but to avoid any twists of events i am looking seriously at joining a nudist group/ camp and hopefully i can make some friends there. actually i hav´ñt any nudist friends , well close buddies (male or female to meet and to share personal time with on a one to one basis as yet so hope to make some soon).
well here the acceptance is vast in spain. but have no clue of places to go in madrid. i am thinking of going to a the south of spain for a weekend or portugal and meet some people there but i have no idea of places there to go and who to interact with and more so around my age. for me i like conversing with individuals who are a little older than i am since 1-they can understand me a little better and 2-they will be more mature than those at my age or younger (well i think)
not forgetting you Bornnude, i am from the Carribean, barbados to be exact. a very beautiful place. breaking the news is a bit difficult for me since i used to be heavily involved in religious groups in my home country a few years aback and my mom who is living in the US at the moment is also more engrossed in the church than anything. they and family members are expecting so much of me and more than likely will be hurt by my actions. i am actually thinking of hiding it totally. any suggestions?
thanks all, i would really appreciate any suggestions, comments on this situation,
sorry for being so long again,
Regards,
Raul Ragbhir
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whattodoguy
New Member
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Posted - 06/16/2006 : 4:37:50 PM
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Hello Raul,
I was married in my early twenties (arranged marriage). I am in my forties now and so is my wife. Right now we are living in California. I really regret not discussing many issues before getting married because in some aspects we have completely different set of ideas. For nudism, it has taken me many years for her to undertand that this is an important part of me but she still has religious values that would not permit her to take the plunge and share this with me. She is open to the idea and interested but in the end she will not go to any nudist events that I have planned with her because of her strict religious upbringing. The only thing I can do is to be patient with her and hope for the best.
Whattodoguy
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