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melissastarr
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 Posted - 11/12/2007 : 2:24:52 PM
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I'm trying to get back into nudism but have 2 problems that are noncompatible right now: a roommate who doesn't condone nudism and 2 cats. (You're probably wondering about the cats, but I'll explain in a second.) The roommate insists that I be clothed at all times. Fine, right? Just close my bedroom door and all is well. Thus enters the cat issue. My roommate insists that since tbey're my cats that the litter box be kept in my room (I keep it VERY clean, so it's no big deal.) We've talked about this arrangement before and it's just non-negotiable with her. The problem is that my cats roam all over the house at all times, day and night. So I can't really close my door for any length of time during the day or during the night because they need to be able to come in. If I close the door with them in the room they will scratch at the door to get out; if I close the door with them out, they scratch the door to get in. Because we rent, it's not a good idea for them to scratch the paint in the door. Does anybody have any ideas on what to do? Keep in mind that my roommate is ALWAYS home- she has no life. :(
Melissa
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"Do they say that nudity and sex always go together? Well, then be careful and don't get pregnant while taking a bath."
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n/a
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Posted - 11/12/2007 : 2:53:55 PM
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Can you rig up a curtain in the doorway? You could use one of those spring loaded curtain rods and an opaque shower curtain. Does your roomate object to you BEING nude or just to SEEING you nude...it might make a difference in solving the problem.
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whitey100
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Posted - 11/12/2007 : 3:37:07 PM
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It seems that you roomie has no problem expecting you to conform to her lifestyle. I'd suggest it's time for her to do some conforming herself.
Easy solution to your problem.....get rid of the roommate!
Whitey100
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Cheri
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Posted - 11/12/2007 : 6:30:05 PM
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Melissa, Since you ALSO pay rent, can't she compromise at all. It seems like it's all HER way, and YOU're not getting anything from the arrangement. My personal recommendation, ask her what she'd do if the shoe were on the other foot. See if she has some suggestions about the cats. I sincerely doubt it.
Hope your cats are as wonderful as they've been in the past.
Hugs, Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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pilot
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Posted - 11/12/2007 : 9:28:09 PM
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Melissa...
First, welcome back. You have been missed!
There are several solutions available to you. Much depends on your priorities.
What has happened is that your roommate has used your cats to have her way in things that are important to you. Why she has done this is beyond the scope of the discussion, but the fact that she never ventures outside reflects a level of discomfort with social interactions and a need to control the one she has with you.
Effectively, she has said to you that you have a choice of two out of three:
(1) your roommate
(2) your cats
(3) your preference to be textile-free
My guess is that she is unwilling to compromise on forcing a choice. Nor does it make sense to get rid of the cats (we have two, they are family to us) for the "privilege" of being clothes-free yet confined to your room.
Your choice, then, is to find an alternate living arrangement or to put aside your naturist leanings for a while. It depends a lot on where your values lie.
You can certainly find alternate living circumstances. With the housing market so depressed, availability of rental space is likely increasing. There are also likely private homes that would be delighted to have a roomer (even with cats) in exchange for help paying the mortgage. PhiNu might be a venue to find a family that would embrace your choices.
The alternative is to put aside your naturist preferences for a while and let your roommate have her way. There can be good reasons for making the choice. Only you can decide.
Good luck, and let us know if we can help you piece through the choices and consequences.
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melissastarr
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Posted - 11/13/2007 : 12:26:11 AM
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Tonight I'm sleeping nude- so be it! I went to bed before she got home from class and left the door open just enough for the cats to go through. Unless she peeked her head inside, which she had no reason to do, she wouldn't see me at all. If she did see me, she would have just seen me bundled up in bed. In the a.m. I get up before her and if I get out of bed on the right side I can close the door from the back without anyone seeing. That's my game plan for sleeping for now. Of course, it's been so long since I've slept nude that I haven't slept a wink. Sigh..... Wouldn't you just go figure? But it'll come back to me quickly. I'll have to figure out the daytime now that I've figured out the night.
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"Do they say that nudity and sex always go together? Well, then be careful and don't get pregnant while taking a bath."
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Tuffers
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Posted - 11/13/2007 : 05:20:39 AM
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Seems to me you are living with a very narrow minded person there Melissa. Enjoy the freedom of nudism and move would be my suggestion.
Tuffers
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musart
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Posted - 11/13/2007 : 05:40:05 AM
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Melissa,
It is even a problem for you to SLEEP nude? However did this person ever desire to be your roommate?? The things that are important to you, are restricted by her. Yikes. Why doesn't SHE move?
Scott
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Balto Bob
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 Posted - 11/13/2007 : 10:30:17 AM
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I've had cats for years. I work nights and don't air condition the whole house. Try hooking a robe over the top of the door. Then place something against it so it won't come open easily(I have used an upright vacuum cleaner). This should give the cats enough room to go in and out while maintaining your privacy. My biggest problem has always been claws on bare skin  .
Bob
Have a nice NUDE day !!
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balataf
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Posted - 11/13/2007 : 1:14:20 PM
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Melissa:
This roomate sounds like a very troubled person, manipulative and domineering. You have equal rights if you are sharing expenses.
My Wife and I agree that you are welcome to visit, be nude, and sleep over at our place whenever you care to. We still live at the same place and have the same phone.
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melissastarr
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Posted - 11/13/2007 : 5:44:09 PM
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The roommate does have issues but, alas, I don't move until July. Such is life. To make things more difficult for the next few months would be intolerable (things are already pretty bad- she's VERY weepy and making all sorts of cruel jests over the phone about my move.... it's pretty bad right now and I can hardly stand it.) But I do intend to enjoy nudism to the best of my abilities for the next few months. That means getting together with my nudist friends again and enjoying sleeping nude, regardless of what she says. I tried moving the bed last night and using something to keep the door open only a few inches. That seemed to help a bit. So, maybe sleeping won't be an issue. As for during the day, I think I just have to put up with her for a while and hope she gets a life.... she has to leave the house SOME time, right? Even if it's to visit her parents 4 minutes away..... Lord knows she calls them enough each day, maybe she can visit. We'll see. Thanks for all of your suggestions and support!
Melissa
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"Do they say that nudity and sex always go together? Well, then be careful and don't get pregnant while taking a bath."
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GrayWolf
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Posted - 11/13/2007 : 8:53:59 PM
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Sorry to hear about your problem. Actually, it's your room-mates problem! But glad to see you back again.
Take care.
Don
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socalnudist2003
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Posted - 11/14/2007 : 01:58:27 AM
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Maybe installing a cat door in your bedroom door would help. I know you are renting but you might get approval beforehand especially since your place allows pets. Or maybe you can purchase a cheap door and replace the current door with it. This way you can bring the cat door with you everywhere your future takes you.
I think that many of us can relate to having partners in life that don't follow your beliefs. When you can turn a situation into a win, win it will be best. Keep looking for that solution before giving up
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GrayWolf
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Posted - 11/14/2007 : 11:26:05 AM
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Do you need a door in the first place or would some cloth tacked across the top of the opening to screen your nudity from your room-mate be ok? Could even be quite heavy cloth or a blanket if noise was a problem. Then just leave the door open all the time and the cat will find a way in/out anytime it wants.
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balataf
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Posted - 11/14/2007 : 2:50:40 PM
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Socalnudist, one problem is that even the most common two sizes of door, put together, re only about 30-40% of all doors. They come in quite a variety of different sizes, and are difficult to find another place to fit that single sized item. I sold doors for several years, and have found, for instance, that a row of houses put up together in the 1920s may have whatever sizes the lumber yard had extra at the time without uniformity. Some of the modern subdivisions each have a standard, but don't bet your life on it.
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agde
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Posted - 11/15/2007 : 8:15:52 PM
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Without getting into commentary on your roommate  , three technical ideas:
1 - Double door-stops (those rubber triangles) that keeps the door open enough for the cats but not enough for your roommate's head (but of course she could still see in at an angle...)
2 - Install a curtain on the back of door with a few inches of overhang on the side where the door opens. This would allow you to open the door a bit for the cats without roommate being able to see into room. If the landlord won't let you use screws to secure it to the door, get an over-the-door clothes hook and attach the curtain rod to it.
3 - You could also put a privacy screen at an angle where the door opens. It may be a bit more expensive, but has the advantage of being free-standing and movable for different situations. I had one of these in college for exactly the same reason -- until I switched roommates!
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Nudism with Roommate and Cats- Need Ideas
