| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| SleepyGuy |
Posted - 10/26/2004 : 3:32:46 PM
My wife currently has a 9 y.o. daughter and 7 y.o. son (they are my step-kids). When they're at their dad's house, my wife and I frequently walk around nude, or go in the hot tub nude, etc. I don't know if we're official nudists, but neither of us likes wearing clothes, and frequently don't when the kid's aren't home. However, she's often nude in front of her kids (when she gets out of the shower or gets out of bed, getting dressed, etc.), but I think it's an unspoken "rule" that I can't walk around nude in front of them. I once told her it wasn't fair that she gets to and I can't.
I don't believe in indoctrinating kids into thinking that nudity=bad, but these aren't my kids (they still take baths together and such, and it doesn't seem like a big deal).
Now, both kids have been nude in front of me quite often, and it's no big deal (changing, bathing, etc.), although my stepson covers up his "boys" in front of me (but not in front of his mom). My stepdaughter has no problems changing in front of me, etc.
However, my question is since they're not my kids, am I obligated to hide my nudist tendencies around them, even though my wife can be nude in front of them? My concerns are them going back to their dad's house and saying something that might sound inappropriate, even if we were all casually hanging out together.
I'm not sure how my wife feels about this topic...not an easy thing to bring up, even though she's very open about nudity (I do a lot of photography, some with artistic nudes). ANyone have any thoughts on what i could do to discuss this openly between all of us? |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| loveit |
Posted - 02/16/2008 : 3:45:32 PM
this eems to go round and round, i have two step daughters of late teens and they are used to seing me nude, since my x and i arnt together anymore, the girls still come to mine because the mum knows me very well and realises they are safe, one of them now 19 infact lives with me, with the younger children mentioned at that age kids dont pay much atention to natural nudity generly and if they dont hide in horror when ur around them try asking them, what they think, but my experiance has been chilfren this age dont worry, it would seem if mum does it then they already pay no concern speak to your partner annd ask her view, or go into it gently and leave bathroom door open while in bath, if they work in and you dont make anything of it surly that is a sign to me that they wont be bothered, you will soon know, as they will certainly make them selves heard if it shocks them, i am betting they wont, seems one sided to me, if your partner knows you well she will surely be the judge of you, i wish you luck, i also think if there dad is aware of his x's ways it wont be suprising surly, to the biological dad.
cositom |
| shyguyND |
Posted - 12/04/2006 : 7:47:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Cheri
Underwear is not nudist, it's not family-oriented, it just is something that isn't polite to wear around others.
At nudist venues, definitely not allowed. Underwear can seem provocative.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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I agree with you. Having on underwear, or bathing suit, or bikini can be quite erotic. Being nude...well everything shows. The point of underwear and such it is hides areas, and accents figures or curves |
| n/a |
Posted - 04/06/2006 : 12:10:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by RunnerGirl
quote:
Originally posted by Ashley
SleepyGuy,
All I can tell you is when I was 8 to 10 years old (and also now that I'm 19) the last thing I was interested in was seeing my dad or mom nude. I remember walking by the bathroom in the mornings and my Dad would be standing there at the sink shaving with his undershorts on and the only comment I ever made was "Geeez Dad...can't you remember to close the door?"
As I became 13 or 14, I think I had a longer list of people I would have liked to see nude....but my parents were never in the top 100 lol
Ash
lol, very good Ash. I would agree, at 13 (I am 18 now....listen to me and Ash people, its still fresh for us), my top 100 to see nude had Brad Pitt several times, but not either parent.
I can't say what is the best thing to do, but I agree with Ash.
Morgan
ok well you may not have wanted to see your parents however some ppl are more open and when ur raised that young with nudity you really don't care who is nude around you |
| Bob S. |
Posted - 04/16/2005 : 5:44:11 PM
Your children have, for years, seen their mother naked and either has never commented about it to their father or he just hasn't cared. This should be a positive for continuing carefully into the realm of "home nudism."
Now keep in mind, it has mainly been in normal situations such as changing and bathing, as you mentioned. But this is normal for many families, even non-nudist ones. While there is no problem with seeing their mother naked, the kids are having some issues with their own nakedness which also happens around this age.
Will there be any wisecracks from them? Maybe-maybe not. They haven't made those comments about their mother, so they may not make them to you. If they make a few comments and they are fun-loving, do so back. If the comment is out-of-line, deal with it. And realize that "young nudists" don't make those kind of comments. Thise are reserved for the textile children.
"Is a stepdad different (morally) than a biological dad?"
No. Just legally.
Bob S.
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| Ashley |
Posted - 04/14/2005 : 3:00:36 PM
I guess my response was keyed into the fact that you had several postings in which you were concerned about their "reaction"...and it seemed you were majorly concerned with whether they would "giggle, make jokes" or whatever.
All I'm saying is if your family is going to practice nudism, and IF you have the safe permission (meaning no concern of interference from the biological father or court system), then it probably won't be any more of a reaction from the step-kids than it is to anyone else on the "first day" at a nudist resort or nude beach.
My only experience has been with a nude beach for five days on vacation and,as I've posted before, you look for little while, you might get looked AT for a little while, but in the whole scheme of things...any awkwardness or embarrassment that occurs becomes "old news" within a matter of a couple hours at most.
What I'm suggesting is, IF the kids make a remark similar to what I did about asking my Dad if he couldn't shut the bathroom door instead of standing around in his baggy boxer shorts...you can handle it the same way he did with me: Ignore it and do what you want to do. Kids don't make the rules in a house, they just get to live there. (I was reminded of this often) lol
Also, as further clarification, I wasn't raised in a nudist family and if I hadn't been on vacation for 5 days at Orient Beach I wouldn't have ANY real experience to even begin to chat about.
I wish you well with your stepkids and nudist lifestyle, I think it is a fine way to be brought up from what I see and hear on the forum discussions.
Ash |
| SleepyGuy |
Posted - 04/14/2005 : 1:23:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ashley
SleepyGuy,
All I can tell you is when I was 8 to 10 years old (and also now that I'm 19) the last thing I was interested in was seeing my dad or mom nude. I remember walking by the bathroom in the mornings and my Dad would be standing there at the sink shaving with his undershorts on and the only comment I ever made was "Geeez Dad...can't you remember to close the door?"
As I became 13 or 14, I think I had a longer list of people I would have liked to see nude....but my parents were never in the top 100 lol
Ash
I'm just talking about a home setting and being comfortable nude with others in the house, and them being OK with it. From what you're saying, it sounds like a young nudist always goes around and mocks their parents being nude. Is that the case and you're saying I should take their comments with a grain of salt? Or are you saying kids don't want to see their parents nude, nudist or not (which seems to contrast with a family nudist lifestyle).
My wife has been nude in front of the kids for years and they've not once ever commented - not even a joke. It's completely normal to them. It has nothing to do with *wanting* to see her naked. But I'm also a step-dad - not natural father, so my situation is slightly different than their biological dad walking around naked (although I'm told he doesn't wear underwear at all - ha ha). I'm not sure how *they* see it differently, but they have not seen me nude beyond maybe seeing my backside once or twice.
Maybe you can clarify what it is you were trying to say. I agree that, as a kid, I never necessarily *wanted* to see my parents naked, but that didn't mean I wasn't OK with them being naked around me. And I never made any comments or said "shut the door" kind of things. |
| Cheri |
Posted - 04/14/2005 : 11:14:06 AM
quote:
Originally posted by SleepyGuy
(snip)
But I do have a question - what kind of reaction should I expect the first few times either of the kids finally see me au natural? Would giggling, blushing, or wisecracks be considered normal under the circumstances, or would that be a sign of them probably not handling the situation maturely enough to allow it to continue? About how long should I expect them to not think any differently seeing me nude?
I really feel that you will get no reaction at all. I doubt very much whether there will be an sarcasm or wisecracks or even giggles.
I wish you well,
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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| RunnerGirl |
Posted - 04/14/2005 : 07:32:12 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ashley
SleepyGuy,
All I can tell you is when I was 8 to 10 years old (and also now that I'm 19) the last thing I was interested in was seeing my dad or mom nude. I remember walking by the bathroom in the mornings and my Dad would be standing there at the sink shaving with his undershorts on and the only comment I ever made was "Geeez Dad...can't you remember to close the door?"
As I became 13 or 14, I think I had a longer list of people I would have liked to see nude....but my parents were never in the top 100 lol
Ash
lol, very good Ash. I would agree, at 13 (I am 18 now....listen to me and Ash people, its still fresh for us), my top 100 to see nude had Brad Pitt several times, but not either parent.
I can't say what is the best thing to do, but I agree with Ash.
Morgan |
| Ashley |
Posted - 04/14/2005 : 07:27:38 AM
SleepyGuy,
All I can tell you is when I was 8 to 10 years old (and also now that I'm 19) the last thing I was interested in was seeing my dad or mom nude. I remember walking by the bathroom in the mornings and my Dad would be standing there at the sink shaving with his undershorts on and the only comment I ever made was "Geeez Dad...can't you remember to close the door?"
As I became 13 or 14, I think I had a longer list of people I would have liked to see nude....but my parents were never in the top 100 lol
Ash |
| SleepyGuy |
Posted - 04/14/2005 : 02:29:59 AM
Just an update. I finally got a chance to talk this whole situation over with my wife, and she was all for discussing it with the kids. Neither of the kids said they had a problem with being nude in the house or with me being nude in the house. We made sure to stress a few things, like if at any time they change their mind about this and want more privacy, be sure to let us know, and also to let us know if they become embarrassed or uncomfortable with anyone else being nude in the house. We also stressed this situation is only OK in our own house, because others (neighbors, friends, etc.) may not feel the same way about nudity as we do.
We all agreed to this a few days ago, but there haven't really been any instances occur (with me, anyway) to "test" this. The funny thing is since this, my stepson still hides and covers when getting into the tub/shower, even though he told us he was OK with it. Therefore, I'm wondering if he said he was OK with it but really isn't. Anyway, I'll post another update after this 'arrangement' gets tested.
But I do have a question - what kind of reaction should I expect the first few times either of the kids finally see me au natural? Would giggling, blushing, or wisecracks be considered normal under the circumstances, or would that be a sign of them probably not handling the situation maturely enough to allow it to continue? About how long should I expect them to not think any differently seeing me nude? |
| SleepyGuy |
Posted - 04/08/2005 : 5:51:24 PM
I did a search and found some info about not wearing suits, but if you do, make sure they've been rinsed out in non-soapy cleaner or something to that effect.
We may have our first family skinny-hot tubbing night tomorrow. I showed the info to my wife about the bathing suits (and other stuff we need to do to clean out the filters!). I also mentioned it to the kids and my stepdaughter seemed overly excited that she wouldn't have to wear her swimsuit because she says it's so uncomfortable. Maybe this is our breakthrough moment to "free ourselves"! ;) |
| Cheri |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 1:10:47 PM
Sleepy, Even if your wife has sole custody, she could lose it if the ex finds out. Our hot tub is 7'x7; we keep it at 102-104 depending on what time of year it is. (Without it, I would have trouble moving as I've arthritis in my back.) There was something in the original reading material we got when we bought the tub 8-1/2 yrs. ago. You might do a Google search to find out something.
I wish you well,
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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| SleepyGuy |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 1:42:18 PM
Cheri,
My wife has majority custody of the kids (her decisions with them are final - legally), so that's why nothing has happened until I have a chance to discuss things with her (including the 'leaving the door open' thing, which I said I woulnd't even think of doing until I talked to her anyway, and not sure that's even the way that I'd go about it anyway).
Our hot tub is usually around 100-101 degrees. I try to be strict regarding keeping it clean (it's a near top of the line Jacuzzi 7 seater), so I want to make sure it lasts. I may do more research about the clothing thing - post some links if you know of any. I've never heard those comments about wearing a suit, although I can understand the deergent issue with the suits. That still doesn't address the issue with us using it nude as a family though - so I'm back to square one. |
| Cheri |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 12:06:03 PM
First of all, if you keep the temperature of the hot tub at the prescribed 102-104, the kids need to be over 12 yrs. old as younger ones' body core temp rises very fast and one could litterally boil to death. It has happened.
The step-parent does not have the authority over the biological parent. The birth parent has all the rights in the world and can take you to court and you could lose custody or even all visitation. Discuss everything with your wife. Don't accidentally leave a door open as this could be viewed as exhibitionistic and the child might tell the estranged parent.
Additionally, many tub manufacturers expressly state in their literature than wearing a suit especially one that has been washed with soap, will ruin the tub. That soap scum that floats to the top of the pool is not only ugly but can hurt your filtration system.
The medical profession will also tell you that you don't get the medical benefits of the hot tub with fabric separating the water from you.
I wish you well,
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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| SleepyGuy |
Posted - 04/06/2005 : 02:31:16 AM
My wife is Catholic, but doesn'ty go to church. I think the kids' dad and wife go to church when the kids are there, but not sure. I think their stepmom is somewhat hippie-ish, so who knows her thoughts on the nude subject. I'm getting more and more antsy to bring it up to my wife and discuss it, but I certainly don't want it to be a cause for alarm if the kids should happen to say something to their dad and he takes it the wrong way. I just feel like I'm the only one in the house walking on eggshells with regard to being nude while everyone else can if they want with no complaints.
My wife has no qualms about walking anywhere in the house nude when the kids are home, but if I get ready to shower, it's time to shut the door to the bedroom. Is a stepdad different (morally) than a biological dad?
I've seen a few people mention the "leave the door open by accident when you get out of the shower" scenario, but I wouldn't do anything like that without the wife's buy-in. We also have a hot tub that I like to go "skinny dipping" in. My bathing suit is extremely uncomfortable, and being nude in the hot tub is so much more enjoyable and relaxing....but as it is, I can only do that when the kids aren't in the hot tub with me of my wife. I'm to the point now where I won't even join them if I can't be nude because it isn't enjoyable, wheich usually means going in by myself after everyone else has left the hot tub. Sometimes I don't mind, but it is also restricting. I've let the kids go nude in the hot tub if they wanted, but only after I left.
I'm just tired of being the odd man out and the only one with the 'not allowed to be nude around everyone else' stigma attached. I also don't want the kids to grow up fearing nudity or being ashamed of it like I felt in high school. It's much more stress-free to not worry about others that are around when changing or being nude. It's more embarrassing hiding nudity around others than just dropping the clothes and going about your business. I learned that when one of my wife's freinds came over and we told her we do nude hot tub and asked if she was OK with that, which she said she was. When we came back upstairs to change, there were no inhibitions about getting dressed again in front of each other and it was so freeing. Even after that, my wife's mom came over to go in the hot tub and neither had an issue with me being nude, although my wife made a joke about her husband being naked with her mom in the hot tub - lol. Her mom was going to try it too, but my wife gave her a bathing suit at the last minute - which made me feel a bit awkward, but she didn't seem to have a problem with it. I'd like the kids to be able to feel the same way as they get older. Hopefully I can find a way to discuss it with my wife soon. I'll be sure to report back here on what the verdict ends up. |
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