|
Note: You must be registered in order to post a reply.
To register, click here. Registration is FREE!
|
| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| melissastarr |
Posted - 12/17/2003 : 6:46:29 PM
I will be the first to tell you that I'm rather ignorant in the area of men, dating, and the like. When I first became a nudist I was still at the place of saying, "I'm never dating and I'm never getting married." But I've grown up quite a bit in the past few months (thanks, mom!) and it seems that dating may be on my agenda at some point. So, because it's me, there are questions.
I've gotten several e-mails from men wanting to develop a friendship. Now, I'm not really sure that they're just looking for friendship. How can you tell? Since there seems to be so many more single male nudists than single female nudists do a lot of the women get many e-mails from the men? I just can't believe that I'm alone. Not that I mind: I've met some really neat people through various websites.
If I ever do decide to date someone, what are nudist dating rules? Not that I really know textile dating rules, but it seems that if you're nude with someone that you love there needs to be a stricter set of rules. Or not? I dunno.
Feel free to share wisdom about dating, nudism, and men in this thread. I'm open to all opinions and pointers. Surely you all can help me, right?
Melissa
____________________________________________________________________
My clothes have low self-esteem... they know they're not wanted. |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| sunflower |
Posted - 12/02/2010 : 4:47:10 PM
I quite agree with what you say openess and as I am a very outspoken woman, do tend to bring naturism into the conversation quite early on, however, my preference is to meet a man who is also a naturist. Its usually a man seeking a naturist woman as I have seen on this forum a few times as well as in other publications. I think that in most culture´s nudity is associated with sexuality, this is possibly why so many women shy away from social nudity. In Holland they have, I believe, what are called ´wellness centres´ where naturists can go for the day to swim, use a sauna etc. There are a few bed & breakfast places here in Portugal and now, a few campsites both catering for naturists but again, aimed predominantly at couples and where a single woman is associated with sexuality. |
| openess |
Posted - 12/01/2010 : 09:30:53 AM
Sunflower, I’d like to follow-up on the thought in your last sentence. Based on my experience, I’ve learned that it’s better to inform someone you’re dating that you’re a naturist sooner rather than later. This is so because many people have strong negative and fearful reactions to things outside common patterns of societal behavior. Naturism is often something that these folks will never understand and therefore will never accept in a partner. So, it’s much better to save both parties valuable time by being open with this aspect of yourself as early in the relationship as possible. The question is: how early is too early?
In my culture (USA), nudity is widely and reflexively associated with sexuality. To those holding this association, the mention of nudity automatically is taken as a sexual reference. Making a sexual reference very early in a relationship easily comes off as inappropriate, especially if it’s so early in the relationship that the prospective partner doesn’t know you well enough as a person to put the new information into an accurate context, and doesn’t understand naturism. I know there’s no easy answer to the question and it’s very dependent on the particular circumstances. But my inclination is to err on the side of “too early”, even though this risks prematurely ending a relationship that may have worked if the revelation had occurred later. On the other hand, if the budding relationship easily accommodates this revelation, it’s a very good sign that the relationship has a high potential for understanding, acceptance, openness, trust and compatibility.
|
| sunflower |
Posted - 11/29/2010 : 4:30:09 PM
This thread hasn´t been in use now for over two years, so thought I would put my point of view..I am a 60+ widow and have been a naturist for around 50 years, have dipped my toe into a naturist dating site, been approached by oddballs but have also met three nice naturist men but all on a platonic basis. I live in Portugal and two out of the three men live in the UK so only one possible to go to a beach with or whatever. I would love to meet a new partner who is also a naturist but its just as difficult for me as a woman as it is for a man, if you mention you are a naturist some look at you as though you are from another planet and then you get those who think being a naturist is an open invitation for sex. |
| n/a |
Posted - 04/26/2008 : 10:55:27 PM
Okay, Melissa, I know there's already 3 pages of "advice", but since I am a dad AND a grandad, I just gotta put my 2 cents in.
I am "old fashioned", I know. But, listen to your Mom. She knows you better than anyone else. It seems pretty clear that she is not going to actually "Pick" the guy for you (although she might like to  ), so be smarter than most sons and daughters: consider what SHE says above everyone else. Hey, it does not mean others do not have good advice, too. Just needs to be in line with "Mom".
I told you I was old-fashioned. (But I'll bet you your Mom really likes me right now. Ha!) Good luck, anyway. You're trying hard enough. You'll do okay.
Hiking the Cascades "naturally"! |
| naturelover |
Posted - 11/06/2005 : 4:37:58 PM
quote:
Originally posted by NudeAl
Hey NatureLover,
There are a lot of fish in the sea get out there and start again. I know it may seem like a impossible task but if you will perceiver you will find Mrs. Right-for-you not just Mrs. Right-now. Try and check out places where you are likely to encounter free thinking types those that are not just into the material things. You're better off in the long run if you can keep at it. I think the most important thing to remember is to not get discouraged you gotta keep changing that channel until you get the right one. Goodluck
P.S. Don't invest too much time in the new relationship before you bring up the subject of social nudism. If you get a strong negative reaction dump'em and move on to the next one as quick as you can.
"The best dress for walking is nakedness." Colin Fletcher
NudeAl I know there are a lot of fish out there. I am not giving up yet, I'm divorced twice so I do test the water first before diving in. Thanks My gripe with my current is she knew I am a Nudist and was ok with it, then she changed her mind, something about all the 20 somthing models at the resorts? I don't know about you but I havn't seen them anywhere I have visited. |
| NudeAl |
Posted - 11/02/2005 : 12:22:10 AM
Well, there is definitely a point of diminishing returns on your investment i.e. time. You have to be the one to decide if it is ever going to work or not and if it could just be a case of wishful thinking on your part. I'm just saying don't invest too much before you decide if there is ever a chance of the other person developing an interest in your chosen lifestyle. If not it could be a source of pain and suffering for a long time.
"The best dress for walking is nakedness." Colinn Fletcher |
| GeeWilly |
Posted - 11/01/2005 : 2:13:13 PM
Let's think about it for a minute, Al, couldn't "dump 'em and move on" be a little hasty? When you are just getting to know someone, caution is usally the controlling factor in responding to questions about nudity, isn't it? Particularly if you have not tried it. Think of all the stories of women who tried it and found that they really liked it. Everyone has to start somewhere.
A nude lifestyle (even if that's only once every three months) is generally just one part of getting to know another person. Aren't there many other facets to a person's personality more important to true compatibility? I have some friends who married after knowing each other 23 days. Now, after finding out whom they have joined with, it is not looking like the wisest choice.
It takes a while to know someone, to see them under pressure or when you are not at your best either. It's worth the wait. (And how could they not warm to naturism?) |
| NudeAl |
Posted - 10/26/2005 : 11:26:21 PM
Hey NatureLover,
There are a lot of fish in the sea get out there and start again. I know it may seem like a impossible task but if you will perceiver you will find Mrs. Right-for-you not just Mrs. Right-now. Try and check out places where you are likely to encounter free thinking types those that are not just into the material things. You're better off in the long run if you can keep at it. I think the most important thing to remember is to not get discouraged you gotta keep changing that channel until you get the right one. Goodluck
P.S. Don't invest too much time in the new relationship before you bring up the subject of social nudism. If you get a strong negative reaction dump'em and move on to the next one as quick as you can.
"The best dress for walking is nakedness." Colin Fletcher |
| Tyson |
Posted - 10/15/2005 : 01:47:35 AM
Hello, My opinion when it comes to the dating world is in this day in age is people men and women alike have problems with the idea that it takes two caring to make it work.
I am 27 and that is what I have noticed in my age range and that I think is sad.
|
| exarmydude |
Posted - 10/11/2005 : 7:43:03 PM
Hey Melissa, Here is my point of view on dating and I wish I would have known this many years ago. Don't date anyone who you wouldn't consider getting married to. Give the guy a few chances but don't drag it out just because you are alone and want to be with someone. Most important is don't sleep with a guy make him wait, if he really loves you he will wait. I would even go as far as saying wait until marrage, it may sound a little prude but there are more consequences to suffer than just having a litle fun in bed if you really think about it. Emotional consequences unwanted pregnancy, STD's and so on. My g/f and I don't have sex and I have the utmost respect for her as a woman for that. It's is hard sometimes but not imposable. We are going to get married in March but I love her so much I can wait. I wish I would have done that before in the past.
Most of us men are basically the same. It doesn't take much to make us happy. Talking is the most important part of a relationship I think. Make sure you can discuss anything with them and feel comfortable. Lay the cards on the table and see how he reacts. Make sure that he is into you as much as you are in him. Make darn sure the guy isn't abusive, that's when the waiting pays off. You don't have to agree on everything but it's nice when the both of you have the same goal set in life. If that person is a non nudist don't presure him into it, he will have to find out for himself if he is or isn't. Maybe you can convert him LOL and that's ok but he will do it because he loves you and he likes to be a nudist himself. He may not know it yet LOL. I never knew until I tried.
Another good point would be if your family likes him and he likes them. It makes things easier. Just take your time and you will find a nice guy. You are a beautiful woman I'm sure you won't have any problems finding a man.
Thanks and take care
aaron |
| GeeWilly |
Posted - 10/10/2005 : 12:53:52 PM
You are right, naturelover, after 21 months this topic did seem like a dead duck. Melissa could have married some European duke by now and be more concerned about how her BMW is running.
In any case, aren't we all snowflakes? I once thought that visiting a c/o location with a lady-friend might be an indication that said friend was a liberal or, at least, a more open thinker. Someone willing to have fun and beholding of a capacity to be candid and honest. You know, nothing to hide behind. People are amazingly complex.
While I do not think I would want to share a life with one who would not visit and participate in the activities of a nudist venue, my attempts to categorize folks because they do are woefully inept.
So I go on trying to separate the snow from the flakes. |
| naturelover |
Posted - 10/09/2005 : 6:15:00 PM
Well, I know this story is probably outdated since the last post was in January 2004. This is to Melissa also, I have had difficulty in finding someone (a woman) to share my nudism, my ex-wife thinks I am crazy, a lot of women I have dated also think the same. Social nudism how bizarre, how can you do that? I tell them not to criticise untill they try it. Even the lady I have been dateing about two years thinks the same, but she knew I am a nudist was ok with it untill I went to a nude beach when I was on vacation, she did not come with me on the trip for what ever reason she had, now I get grief about it. I am still looking for "Mrs.Right" a long slow task. but I belive she out there. I too don't care for the dating services either. Good luck to everyone looking to find the right person, I'm sure they are out there somewhere. LOL Naturelover |
| tucsonnude |
Posted - 01/01/2004 : 10:03:12 AM
forget the show but daters were sent on a date to the carribean..the only hitch was that it was a nude date at hedonism i think..so it was more sexual that being truly nudist..i hope i find a nice gal who is a nudist or is open to it |
| monalisads |
Posted - 12/27/2003 : 10:25:02 PM
BOBBYH sums it up so well.
Most DEFINITELY listen to the advice of your friends and family and MAINTAIN an open mind to what is being said and then based on all of the facts (not emotion) make your decision. I too wish you the best of luck Melissa. There is no magic formula for a lasting relationship but certainly openness, love, honesty, and trust are important ingredients.
Until I met my husband, I had a disasterous existence but when he entered my life, I at last had found my true soul mate. In addition to the qualities above, he also was so understanding, compassionate, and considerate to my needs and it is he who has brought the very best out in me and encouraged me to develop through my own self discovery.
Believe you me Melissa, your soul mate is out there waiting for you too and I pray you meet him soon.
Mwah,
MonaLisa |
| bobbyh |
Posted - 12/27/2003 : 9:17:01 PM
The best thing I can say is that you need to listen to your gut feelings and listen to your friends and family. I should have listened to all of the above but I was too hard headed and had to learn the hard way. When you listen to the advice of your friends and family try to keep an open mind to what is being said because sometimes it is not what you want to hear. I wish you the best of luck Melissa and there is no magic formula for a lasting relationship just love,honesty,and trust.
HI THERE FROM BOBBYH |
|
|
|
|
| Nudist-Resorts.Org Discussion Forum Bulletin Board Nudism Clothing Optional Resort Naturism Nude Beaches |
© 2002-2020 SUN |
 |
|
|
