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melissastarr
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 Posted - 12/17/2003 : 6:46:29 PM
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I will be the first to tell you that I'm rather ignorant in the area of men, dating, and the like. When I first became a nudist I was still at the place of saying, "I'm never dating and I'm never getting married." But I've grown up quite a bit in the past few months (thanks, mom!) and it seems that dating may be on my agenda at some point. So, because it's me, there are questions.
I've gotten several e-mails from men wanting to develop a friendship. Now, I'm not really sure that they're just looking for friendship. How can you tell? Since there seems to be so many more single male nudists than single female nudists do a lot of the women get many e-mails from the men? I just can't believe that I'm alone. Not that I mind: I've met some really neat people through various websites.
If I ever do decide to date someone, what are nudist dating rules? Not that I really know textile dating rules, but it seems that if you're nude with someone that you love there needs to be a stricter set of rules. Or not? I dunno.
Feel free to share wisdom about dating, nudism, and men in this thread. I'm open to all opinions and pointers. Surely you all can help me, right?
Melissa
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My clothes have low self-esteem... they know they're not wanted.
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skinnydipper
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Posted - 12/17/2003 : 9:34:43 PM
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Melissa -- the "rules", regardless whether dating someone who is a nudist, or going out on a nude date, do not change from textile dating. Respect, courtesy, manners, decorum, and honesty. Being open-minded about nudity does not waive the normal progression of intimacy in romantic relationships. It does remove one awkward step if you decide you want to get naked with someone, so if anything, it's a big plus.
Eric
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smoothIN
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Posted - 12/17/2003 : 10:33:04 PM
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Melissa,
I don't know if there are any rules for dating in general, let alone nude dating. I agree with you there are more nudist males out there than females but that just the way it is right now. I would say that you should follow you feelings when it comes time for the dating part. It's hard to get to really know someone via the internet. You jsut need to rely on your feeling about dating.
Tom
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Cheri
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Posted - 12/17/2003 : 10:57:15 PM
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Melissa, The same rules apply to dating nudist as non-nudist men. Allen and I talked online off and on such a board as this for two years before we met in person. The first evening we met in person, we talked till the restaurant at Cypress Cove closed and he fixed me the best hamburger ever! We're talking about 10 pm from 1 pm. All we did was talk, getting to know each other in person after hearing what he said those two years. That was our first date. I think I fell in love with his voice before seeing him. LOL. Someone said he had a sort of Gregory Peck voice, but with a deep southern accent.
I've dated other nudists and found that we were just nudists as we lived our lives.
Hugs, mom
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Spontanudity
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Posted - 12/18/2003 : 06:46:54 AM
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Melissa,
I think there are dating rules... But there is no difference between nudist and non-nudist. Generally, you make the rules up over time and suit to your situation.
I'd definitely give it time... You're in no rush. Are the guys that have e-mailed you from this Site? Are they contributors? I think it would be strange for somebody to contact you without first communicating in a social setting, such as this forum... Just like we would in "normal life".
Saying all that, I'm no expert at dating either!
Cheers,
Spontanudity
"Forever Naked"
http://groups.msn.com/YoungSydneyNaturists
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cheef
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/18/2003 : 3:10:55 PM
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Here's my first bit of advice...
Don't think of it as "dating nudist guys", think of it as "dating guys I met on the internet". Then apply all the same cautions. If you want to be especially cautious, think of it as "dating guys I met on the internet, and the guys know I like being naked". (If they're genuine nudists, this isn't a problem... but there's always wolves in sheep's clothing.)
Now, all of that said... I'm a nudist who first met his wife on the internet, so I'm not being negative...just cautious.
As far as other dating rules, I would say simply:
1) Decide what they are in advance
2) Communicate them clearly
3) Stick with them
In other words, the same idea as with non-nudists.
Plus, as a nudist woman, you have an advantage. Nudist women are highly outnumbered by nudist men, so you can be choosey. I'm not saying you shouldn't give decent guys a fair chance just because they don't immediately strike you as perfect. I'm saying that there's no need to rush... you can take your time and wait until the right match comes along.
http://cheef.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nudist-news-group/
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calmnude
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Posted - 12/18/2003 : 10:32:48 PM
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as always, cheri and cheef hit the mark succinctly. hope this helps melissa
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nudetoo
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/18/2003 : 10:51:12 PM
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this is off the topic but what is succinctly?
Oh yes, you impress me as being very level headed and well educated, as well as being openminded, if you put the same effort in dating as you do in living I think you'l do fine. as far as a prince charming, wouldn't his armor rub blisters?
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Edited by - nudetoo on 12/18/2003 10:56:35 PM |
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FireProf
Forum Member
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 Posted - 12/19/2003 : 01:50:16 AM
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Melissa,
I really wish I could help you with some good sound advice on dating, textile or nude, but the fact is, I haven't dated since I was a sophomore in high school. You see, I am married to my high school sweetheart. We started dating when we were 16 and have been together ever since. We went on a first date and it just continued from there.
You'll get some good advice I am sure. Good luck.
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nudeisntlewd
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/19/2003 : 04:56:43 AM
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suc·cinct
Function: adjective
1: archaic: a: being girded b: close-fitting
2: marked by compact precise expression without wasted words
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Edited by - nudeisntlewd on 12/19/2003 04:58:49 AM |
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melissastarr
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/19/2003 : 06:13:36 AM
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You guys offer a lot of great wisdom. Not that I've got it all figured out now, mind you. What I've gleaned from this discussion is that dating nudist men is the same as dating textile men, just without the clothes. Setting boundaries and keeping with them is important. Right? But I still don't understand men! I've heard the rumors about them, but they baffle me. I have some good guy friends and I've enjoyed getting to know many men through nudist venues and through the internet. But men are pretty strange beings. YIKES!
Melissa
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My clothes have low self-esteem... they know they're not wanted.
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calmnude
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/19/2003 : 5:07:51 PM
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first, melissa, a special man should also be a very good friend. yes, we are different, and at times bizarre, but to many men, women are just as baffling and strange. thus the eternal search for the 1 special person
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Spontanudity
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/19/2003 : 7:41:16 PM
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Calmnude,
I agree... In fact I think women are more baffling and strange than men. Hey I'm a simple single guy... Not much baffling and strange about me! :)
Cheers,
Spontanudity
"Forever Naked"
http://groups.msn.com/YoungSydneyNaturists
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Country: Australia
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nudeisntlewd
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/22/2003 : 01:54:01 AM
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I don't think that there is just one ideal person for each of us. I think that there are probably many who posses the characteristics that a person can be happy with. We each have things that we do and don't like about others, but I feel that rigid requirements for a mate would defeat any chance of happiness with a lot of candidates. We ourselves cannot be exactly as we want, so we cannot expect any other single person to be exactly as we want them to be either.
Randy
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Edited by - nudeisntlewd on 12/22/2003 01:56:03 AM |
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lvnv777
Forum Member
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 Posted - 12/22/2003 : 05:00:09 AM
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 Aloha All From Robbie Of Hawaii,
Happy holidays to everyone. To me dating a nudists/naturists female should be no different than dating a female that is clothed.
My way is to treat the female species with respect, dignity, honesty, sincerity, as a woman, as a female, as a person, TLC, give compliments when due, with importance, not taken for granted, and so forth.......
Any opinions or questions please feel free to drop me a line at (LVNV777@earthlink.net).
Happy Wishes----.
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Spontanudity
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/22/2003 : 07:06:57 AM
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Randy,
I agree with you mate. I think there are a number of "ideal" partners for each of us. I think its matter of how much we willing to compromise to develop the relationship.
I've dated women from all over the world, even went out with a girl living in London while I was in Sydney. The relationship lasted 9 months, it made me realise that there are so many potential partners out there and that we shouldn't limit ourselves to just the world we know.
Cheers,
Spontanudity
"Forever Naked"
http://groups.msn.com/YoungSydneyNaturists
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