| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Bor3dnudist |
Posted - 01/17/2009 : 03:11:36 AM
[Deleted] |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Bob Knows |
Posted - 08/06/2012 : 09:35:20 AM
quote:
Originally posted by HearthfireSpring
My wife and I are having this issue right now. She was raised in a nudist household and she brought me into it. We have been in New Mexico for a few years helping my inlaws move into there new home and due to reasons of economy we are forced to stay with the inlaws for the time being. Now my wife was raised a nudist and is how she perfers to be and in the past we have been nude around the mother in law without problems. Our problem now is that she has decided that she no longer cares for the lifestyle and demands that we be dressed at all times. Now its her house and I have no problem with that but whenever shes hot or just doesen't want to ware clothing she strips breaking her own household rules. We are going to be leaving her home soon and the problem will go away but its still annoying.
Andy
Clothing is not your problem, Andy. Your problem is that your wife is using clothing as a mechanism to assert her domination and control of her husband. She obviously wears the pants in your family, makes the rules, and exercises her control.. That is the problem.
Bob Knows. |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/22/2012 : 2:16:05 PM
I would actually take time when 3 of you are in the same room to openly ask the neighbor woman if she would mind if you also were nude just like your wife was nude, odds are she cares less may even join in but it puts wife on spot where she just would end up more saying sure go ahead as to not create a scene. |
| blackrebel |
Posted - 01/25/2009 : 11:26:13 AM
Sounds as if the GF has an unfair and irrational double standard. She may be setting herself up for being called out by asking the neighbor in front of the GF if the neighbor thinks that it's fair that you are required to dress while she has the ability to remain undressed. THEN DUCK  . Maybe the neighbor could also help the GF see that she is being unfair.
No shame |
| old hippie |
Posted - 01/25/2009 : 10:52:16 AM
Courtesy works both ways - a host would not want to make a guest feel uncomfortable, but a guest should make as much effort to avoid discomfiting the host. It seems your neighbor is not bothered by nudity, per se, since the GF is already nude during visits. So Agde's advice is right on target: give the neighbor fair warning, and then be comfortable in your own abode.
Common sense and good etiquette are often the same thing.
Peace,
yer Old Hippie
Dum vivimus, vivamus! |
| Frank2233 |
Posted - 01/24/2009 : 06:21:36 AM
I agree it's your house, the neighbor drops over nightly. If your GF is nude then you should be nude as well, she must know your life style if your GF is nude when she drops over. I say go for it tell the neigbor that after a certen time in the evening you and your GF go nude. Enjoy life |
| nudeisbetter |
Posted - 01/24/2009 : 03:13:14 AM
There's a solution to the obvious double-standard if she "won't let" you be nude in your own house, but you'd probably miss her. Sorry, that kind of attitude really bothers me - IMO it is not her place to decide what you can and cannot do in your own home. Perhaps if she doesn't like you nude she should go visit the neighbor and let you be yourself in your house. As for the kid, I don't know what state you're in or what your relationship with his mother is, but you're absolutely right to play that as conservatively as possible - you could really leave yourself open to a world of trouble were he to say the wrong thing. It's not worth the risk.
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| Bor3dnudist |
Posted - 01/23/2009 : 11:22:35 PM
[Deleted] |
| HappyDaz |
Posted - 01/22/2009 : 3:25:53 PM
Great response agde. You hit the nail on the head with the statement 'everybody understands that all families have their own household culture,". Of all the people that we've told we're nudists, not one has reacted with shock or outrage. They simply accept it as who we are, and the way we choose to live our lives. The bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal it becomes. I really like agde's courteous, matter-of-fact approach for your neighbor
.
Bor3dnudist, how you make it okay with your your girlfriend? That's up to you in the end. But as Al points out, there seems to be a glaring double standard in your home. I wouldn't accept my wife's being nude as okay and my being nude as perverse and vice versa. We have close friends (female and couples) that have visited while we're both nude and it's not been a problem. Several friends have politely informed us, before visiting, that they'd be uncomfortable with our being nude. We've thanked them for their honesty and respected their wishes. Simple as that.
Cheers!
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| agde |
Posted - 01/22/2009 : 1:36:28 PM
Sounds like it is time to solve what shouldn't really be a big-deal crisis.
How about just asking the neighbor if she minds, maybe something like "You know, we normally don't always wear clothes around the house, but I got in the habit of dressing up when you came over because I didn't know how comfortable you'd be seeing me in the buff. Would you mind terribly if I just stayed informal and the way I am when you drop by, rather than leaping to change clothes?" I bet she'll say something like, "It doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you." Then you say, "Well, if you are ever uncomfortable, let me know."
By asking the neighbor, everybody is on the same page. And, for your gf, it both takes the "flasher" element out of it and gently sets a household rule-of-thumb that everyone just continues normally, clothed as they are, when the neighbor arrives, rather than making a big deal of it one way or the other. It is important and relaxing -- for everyone -- to establish home space as a comfy, no-big-deal clothing-optional zone. For your son too.
Frankly, everybody understands that all families have their own household culture, and anyone coming into your space as "extended family" naturally should expect to adapt to the ongoing family patterns. |
| NudeAl |
Posted - 01/20/2009 : 9:32:03 PM
If you can't do what you want to do in your own house where can you? Another thought if you let her set this as the standard now it will only get worse in the future. Tell her it is your house too and if she has no problem with her own nudity then you will also be nude, either that or allow her to dictate the rules to you in your own house. If she were covering up everytime the neighbor was over then I could tolerate that for a while but she is applying a double standard here and you are allowing it to happen. Do what you want I can only say I would not be able to accept that situation.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. -- Robert Frost
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| Balto Bob |
Posted - 01/20/2009 : 4:06:10 PM
I don't know your son but, kids seldom discuss what happens at home. The things we worry about they usually find quite boring. If he is a)under 10- he won't care and will most likely join you. b) older than 10- find HER nudity of some interest (as she is NOT his mother) but, probably not join you.
Bob
Have a nice NUDE day !!
www.flickr.com/photos/isisdc/2560300492/
www.flickr.com/photos/perspective/2560521247/ |
| Safebare |
Posted - 01/20/2009 : 3:45:03 PM
How about getting a copy of Naturally, 'N' or other nudist/naturist magazine and use it to open the discussion further?
"Wearing nothing is devine, naked is a state of mind." |
| Bor3dnudist |
Posted - 01/20/2009 : 01:07:07 AM
[Deleted] |
| HearthfireSpring |
Posted - 01/19/2009 : 5:08:23 PM
My wife and I are having this issue right now. She was raised in a nudist household and she brought me into it. We have been in New Mexico for a few years helping my inlaws move into there new home and due to reasons of economy we are forced to stay with the inlaws for the time being. Now my wife was raised a nudist and is how she perfers to be and in the past we have been nude around the mother in law without problems. Our problem now is that she has decided that she no longer cares for the lifestyle and demands that we be dressed at all times. Now its her house and I have no problem with that but whenever shes hot or just doesen't want to ware clothing she strips breaking her own household rules. We are going to be leaving her home soon and the problem will go away but its still annoying.
Andy |
| sailawaybob |
Posted - 01/19/2009 : 12:15:31 PM
Another example of a double standard in this world, but it is you that is letting it happen. If she is uncomfortable with you being nude infront of the neighbor tell her that if you are to be clothed than so should she. And you are right if you want to walk around your house nude you are entitled to its your house I would warn friends to your state of dress before they visit though. I also agree with Balto Bob don't hide your nudity from your child, children especially young ones are natural nudist. |
