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FireProf
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 Posted - 12/27/2004 : 10:10:26 AM
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SleepyGuy,
You are probably better off just enjoying nudism with your wife when the kids are either at their father's home or away for the day with family or friends....or when you and your wife can get away for a weekend or longer without kids.
This is difficult for a nudist because we hate having to wear clothes if we don't have to, which is usually all the time when at home. In your situation it can become frustrating when you HAVE to remain clothed.
There may be a time in the future when these children reach an age that they are able to make up their own minds on which lifestyle they would like to adopt. For the time being though...best to play it safe for you and your wife and reduce the headaches and heartaches of court visits for all of you.
Good luck, hope you and your wife are able to enjoy nudism as often as possible even if it's just for short periods of time.
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chic
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/27/2004 : 3:24:58 PM
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Fireprof gave good advice.
Now that our kids are adults and with children of their own, we take more care about being nude in front them, because some of the adults don't participate in our nudists life style.
That's perfectly ok with us, as we never did force nudism upon our kids when they were minors. Now some do and some don't enjoy nudism.
Chic
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Edited by - chic on 12/27/2004 3:26:54 PM |
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Nudony
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Posted - 01/24/2005 : 8:23:10 PM
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I know of a "Brady Bunch" situation where the woman had a daughter and a son, and the man had a son. The man and the woman experienced nudism while they were dating; and when they got serious and moved in together, the woman introduced the idea of nudism to the rest of the family. The sons immediately embraced the idea; the daughter, for a while, would wait for her stepdad and stepbrother to be out of sight before going fully nude, until she eventually got comfortable.
But there are two important facts to consider: the kids were in their teens, and understood that keeping their two family lives separate was for the best. Also, the parents on both sides were relatively far and kept limited contact. So when it comes to stepchildren, patience (and relocation) may be the key.
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Edited by - Nudony on 01/24/2005 9:24:11 PM |
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SleepyGuy
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Posted - 04/02/2005 : 6:27:56 PM
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Thanks again to everyone that has replied. Nothing has really changed. Even since I told the wife not not be nude in front of the kids if I can't, she still does all the time. Kids are now 8 (boy) and 10 (girl), and neither still have issues with her being nude, but they've been around it their whole lives. The girl is starting to want her own privacy from her brother, but still has no issues changing clothes or bathing in front of any of us. Still not sure how to bring up the concept to my wife in relation to the kids. I just don't like playing the duck and cover game when I get out of the shower and the bedroom door is open (or even when the kids are in the room).
I was always embarrassed in high school and such when being around other nude guys in the locker room because it wasn't something that ever came up in my household, so I didn't know how to treat the situation. I obviously have no issue with it anymore. But I'm not sure if this is an issue of nudism, or just having everyone be OK around each other if we're nude. Is that the same thing, or is there a fine line?
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vealj
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 Posted - 04/03/2005 : 3:40:08 PM
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To relate my own experiences, I think I've come full circle. When I first tried nudism and met my future wife at a nudist club, I was gung-ho and wanted everyone to "convert" to being nudist. Couldn't think of any logical reason why not.
After we married I became stepfather to three fine kids ages, 5,6 & 7 who had never experienced nudism or family nudity. Their father and his wife had custody of the kids except on weekends when we got them. Well I'm always nude at home and they were "exposed" immediately to it. They had no problem with it and eventually we persuaded them to go to our local nudist club. It was after that visit that the husband's spouse complained that the nudity we exposed them to was immoral, etc and she threatened to stop visitation unless we promised not to take them to nudist clubs. They were being raised as Catholics and the stepmother was a staunch Catholic. Their biological father had no objections to what we were doing as long as their mother (my wife) was there and approved. Well eventually the kids confronted us and suggested that what we were doing, visiting nudist clubs and being nude in front of each other was immoral according the church (actually it was immoral according to the viewpoint of their stepmother). I said, "Fine, see your priest at the earliest and ask him. If he says it is immoral we will not require you to be nude or go to camp with us" They did exactly that and the priest told all three kids that there was nothing immoral in simple nudity, it was what people thought and did while nude that counted. That took the wind out the sails of the stepmother.
Now some thirty years later the kids are all grown, well-adjusted and married to clothes-minded spouses which means there is all this juggling about being dressed if so and so visits with a spouse but no need to if the kids themselves visit. I used to be mellow about it and wanted to offend no one, however, as I've grown older I've become more militant. I get sick and tired of having to accommodate the majority's narrow minded view of the world so I make no special effort to be dressed in front of anyone in our own house. I figure if I visit them I don't go nude out of respect for their house rules and while I require no one to be nude in my home I request they respect my right to go nude as my house rules.
Unfortunately, in today's society not everything is so fair. The false moralists want us to obey their rules wherever we are and no matter how unfair it is.
Sorry for the long post but I wanted to express that not all family nudity cases end up with Child Protective Services raiding your home although Cheri and FireProf are right in counseling caution in today's uptight Religious Right society. However, if we nudists never stand up for ourselves what will be the eventual outcome?
Take care and ...
Keep it Bare !!!
- veal
http://www.vealj.com/naturist.html
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Edited by - vealj on 04/03/2005 3:41:51 PM |
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SleepyGuy
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Posted - 04/06/2005 : 02:31:16 AM
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My wife is Catholic, but doesn'ty go to church. I think the kids' dad and wife go to church when the kids are there, but not sure. I think their stepmom is somewhat hippie-ish, so who knows her thoughts on the nude subject. I'm getting more and more antsy to bring it up to my wife and discuss it, but I certainly don't want it to be a cause for alarm if the kids should happen to say something to their dad and he takes it the wrong way. I just feel like I'm the only one in the house walking on eggshells with regard to being nude while everyone else can if they want with no complaints.
My wife has no qualms about walking anywhere in the house nude when the kids are home, but if I get ready to shower, it's time to shut the door to the bedroom. Is a stepdad different (morally) than a biological dad?
I've seen a few people mention the "leave the door open by accident when you get out of the shower" scenario, but I wouldn't do anything like that without the wife's buy-in. We also have a hot tub that I like to go "skinny dipping" in. My bathing suit is extremely uncomfortable, and being nude in the hot tub is so much more enjoyable and relaxing....but as it is, I can only do that when the kids aren't in the hot tub with me of my wife. I'm to the point now where I won't even join them if I can't be nude because it isn't enjoyable, wheich usually means going in by myself after everyone else has left the hot tub. Sometimes I don't mind, but it is also restricting. I've let the kids go nude in the hot tub if they wanted, but only after I left.
I'm just tired of being the odd man out and the only one with the 'not allowed to be nude around everyone else' stigma attached. I also don't want the kids to grow up fearing nudity or being ashamed of it like I felt in high school. It's much more stress-free to not worry about others that are around when changing or being nude. It's more embarrassing hiding nudity around others than just dropping the clothes and going about your business. I learned that when one of my wife's freinds came over and we told her we do nude hot tub and asked if she was OK with that, which she said she was. When we came back upstairs to change, there were no inhibitions about getting dressed again in front of each other and it was so freeing. Even after that, my wife's mom came over to go in the hot tub and neither had an issue with me being nude, although my wife made a joke about her husband being naked with her mom in the hot tub - lol. Her mom was going to try it too, but my wife gave her a bathing suit at the last minute - which made me feel a bit awkward, but she didn't seem to have a problem with it. I'd like the kids to be able to feel the same way as they get older. Hopefully I can find a way to discuss it with my wife soon. I'll be sure to report back here on what the verdict ends up.
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Cheri
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Posted - 04/06/2005 : 12:06:03 PM
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First of all, if you keep the temperature of the hot tub at the prescribed 102-104, the kids need to be over 12 yrs. old as younger ones' body core temp rises very fast and one could litterally boil to death. It has happened.
The step-parent does not have the authority over the biological parent. The birth parent has all the rights in the world and can take you to court and you could lose custody or even all visitation. Discuss everything with your wife. Don't accidentally leave a door open as this could be viewed as exhibitionistic and the child might tell the estranged parent.
Additionally, many tub manufacturers expressly state in their literature than wearing a suit especially one that has been washed with soap, will ruin the tub. That soap scum that floats to the top of the pool is not only ugly but can hurt your filtration system.
The medical profession will also tell you that you don't get the medical benefits of the hot tub with fabric separating the water from you.
I wish you well,
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Edited by - Cheri on 04/06/2005 12:07:36 PM |
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SleepyGuy
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Posted - 04/06/2005 : 1:42:18 PM
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Cheri,
My wife has majority custody of the kids (her decisions with them are final - legally), so that's why nothing has happened until I have a chance to discuss things with her (including the 'leaving the door open' thing, which I said I woulnd't even think of doing until I talked to her anyway, and not sure that's even the way that I'd go about it anyway).
Our hot tub is usually around 100-101 degrees. I try to be strict regarding keeping it clean (it's a near top of the line Jacuzzi 7 seater), so I want to make sure it lasts. I may do more research about the clothing thing - post some links if you know of any. I've never heard those comments about wearing a suit, although I can understand the deergent issue with the suits. That still doesn't address the issue with us using it nude as a family though - so I'm back to square one.
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 04/07/2005 : 1:10:47 PM
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Sleepy, Even if your wife has sole custody, she could lose it if the ex finds out. Our hot tub is 7'x7; we keep it at 102-104 depending on what time of year it is. (Without it, I would have trouble moving as I've arthritis in my back.) There was something in the original reading material we got when we bought the tub 8-1/2 yrs. ago. You might do a Google search to find out something.
I wish you well,
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Edited by - Cheri on 04/07/2005 1:11:57 PM |
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SleepyGuy
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Posted - 04/08/2005 : 5:51:24 PM
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I did a search and found some info about not wearing suits, but if you do, make sure they've been rinsed out in non-soapy cleaner or something to that effect.
We may have our first family skinny-hot tubbing night tomorrow. I showed the info to my wife about the bathing suits (and other stuff we need to do to clean out the filters!). I also mentioned it to the kids and my stepdaughter seemed overly excited that she wouldn't have to wear her swimsuit because she says it's so uncomfortable. Maybe this is our breakthrough moment to "free ourselves"! ;)
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SleepyGuy
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Posted - 04/14/2005 : 02:29:59 AM
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Just an update. I finally got a chance to talk this whole situation over with my wife, and she was all for discussing it with the kids. Neither of the kids said they had a problem with being nude in the house or with me being nude in the house. We made sure to stress a few things, like if at any time they change their mind about this and want more privacy, be sure to let us know, and also to let us know if they become embarrassed or uncomfortable with anyone else being nude in the house. We also stressed this situation is only OK in our own house, because others (neighbors, friends, etc.) may not feel the same way about nudity as we do.
We all agreed to this a few days ago, but there haven't really been any instances occur (with me, anyway) to "test" this. The funny thing is since this, my stepson still hides and covers when getting into the tub/shower, even though he told us he was OK with it. Therefore, I'm wondering if he said he was OK with it but really isn't. Anyway, I'll post another update after this 'arrangement' gets tested.
But I do have a question - what kind of reaction should I expect the first few times either of the kids finally see me au natural? Would giggling, blushing, or wisecracks be considered normal under the circumstances, or would that be a sign of them probably not handling the situation maturely enough to allow it to continue? About how long should I expect them to not think any differently seeing me nude?
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Ashley
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Posted - 04/14/2005 : 07:27:38 AM
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SleepyGuy,
All I can tell you is when I was 8 to 10 years old (and also now that I'm 19) the last thing I was interested in was seeing my dad or mom nude. I remember walking by the bathroom in the mornings and my Dad would be standing there at the sink shaving with his undershorts on and the only comment I ever made was "Geeez Dad...can't you remember to close the door?"
As I became 13 or 14, I think I had a longer list of people I would have liked to see nude....but my parents were never in the top 100 lol
Ash
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RunnerGirl
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Posted - 04/14/2005 : 07:32:12 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ashley
SleepyGuy,
All I can tell you is when I was 8 to 10 years old (and also now that I'm 19) the last thing I was interested in was seeing my dad or mom nude. I remember walking by the bathroom in the mornings and my Dad would be standing there at the sink shaving with his undershorts on and the only comment I ever made was "Geeez Dad...can't you remember to close the door?"
As I became 13 or 14, I think I had a longer list of people I would have liked to see nude....but my parents were never in the top 100 lol
Ash
lol, very good Ash. I would agree, at 13 (I am 18 now....listen to me and Ash people, its still fresh for us), my top 100 to see nude had Brad Pitt several times, but not either parent.
I can't say what is the best thing to do, but I agree with Ash.
Morgan
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Cheri
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Posted - 04/14/2005 : 11:14:06 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by SleepyGuy
(snip)
But I do have a question - what kind of reaction should I expect the first few times either of the kids finally see me au natural? Would giggling, blushing, or wisecracks be considered normal under the circumstances, or would that be a sign of them probably not handling the situation maturely enough to allow it to continue? About how long should I expect them to not think any differently seeing me nude?
I really feel that you will get no reaction at all. I doubt very much whether there will be an sarcasm or wisecracks or even giggles.
I wish you well,
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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SleepyGuy
Forum Member
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Posted - 04/14/2005 : 1:23:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ashley
SleepyGuy,
All I can tell you is when I was 8 to 10 years old (and also now that I'm 19) the last thing I was interested in was seeing my dad or mom nude. I remember walking by the bathroom in the mornings and my Dad would be standing there at the sink shaving with his undershorts on and the only comment I ever made was "Geeez Dad...can't you remember to close the door?"
As I became 13 or 14, I think I had a longer list of people I would have liked to see nude....but my parents were never in the top 100 lol
Ash
I'm just talking about a home setting and being comfortable nude with others in the house, and them being OK with it. From what you're saying, it sounds like a young nudist always goes around and mocks their parents being nude. Is that the case and you're saying I should take their comments with a grain of salt? Or are you saying kids don't want to see their parents nude, nudist or not (which seems to contrast with a family nudist lifestyle).
My wife has been nude in front of the kids for years and they've not once ever commented - not even a joke. It's completely normal to them. It has nothing to do with *wanting* to see her naked. But I'm also a step-dad - not natural father, so my situation is slightly different than their biological dad walking around naked (although I'm told he doesn't wear underwear at all - ha ha). I'm not sure how *they* see it differently, but they have not seen me nude beyond maybe seeing my backside once or twice.
Maybe you can clarify what it is you were trying to say. I agree that, as a kid, I never necessarily *wanted* to see my parents naked, but that didn't mean I wasn't OK with them being naked around me. And I never made any comments or said "shut the door" kind of things.
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What is appropriate with young step-kids around?
