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mugwert
Forum Member
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 Posted - 08/14/2007 : 8:52:02 PM
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HI, since I can't get my log in to work and haven't heard back from the administrator, I am putting this post up under my husbands log in. I hope no one minds too much
Anyhow, my name is Cheryl and here is my question.
I recently went to a clothing optional hot spring with my husband and need some advice. My husband enjoys being nude at the clothing optional resorts near our home, and wants to take me to them. He says that he wants me to experience the freedom of being naked. The problem is, that I just can’t get used to the idea of being nude in front of other people. When we first met, I used to sleep nude with him all the time, but now as a married mother of 2, I have a real problem being naked, even in our house. I know that my husband enjoys being nude, both at the hot springs and around our house, but I get this little voice in my head that says I need to stay dressed. What do I do, I want to be with my husband and do the things he enjoys, but I just can’t get past the mental block of being nude around other men and women. The question is how do you separate the notion of being nude with sex and start to look at as an acceptable lifestyle. He says he will give up the naturalist lifestyle if I ask him to, but is that fair, please, help me out!
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/14/2007 : 9:08:47 PM
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Cheryl, First...I think you mean naturist lifestyle as naturalist is one who studies plants and animals.
It really wouldn't be fair to ask him to give up something he really enjoys. Can you go with him to the c/o resorts and stay clothed or at least with a long tshirt or pareo (sarong)?
Ask that little voice, "why should I stay dressed?". It's relaxing, de-stressing, and innocent.
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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jim19452
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/15/2007 : 09:15:58 AM
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Cheryl, You are a tough case. Try a clothing optional resort and remain clothed. Long shot, but may be you will find that sex and nudity are more easily separated than you now think. Go to one with children, they are a great 'leveler.'
Best Wishes, Jim
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hikenude
New Member
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Posted - 08/15/2007 : 09:16:10 AM
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Cheryl,
If your really uncomfortable with being nude in front of other people, try going somewhere where you can be nude by yourselves. Head out to the mountains (if your close enough) and find a remote spot and go for a nude hike, its a great was to feel free and enjoy nature. Try that a few times and then try the hot springs again. You might look at the Orient Trust Lands, they have a great facility and you can get off by your self in one of several natural pools or hike alone. I also think you'll find that once you take your clothes off, you'll be nervous for about the first 10 minutes, then you'll forget about being nude, because everyone else is too. It can really break down some status barriers.
Your other option is to have him do something special for you when you go and are nude with him at the springs. I get to vacume the house every time my girlfriend goes for a nude hike with me.
Good luck with it, and don't give up yet.
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Balto Bob
$ Supporter
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Posted - 08/15/2007 : 2:38:09 PM
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I like Jim's thought. You would probably be more comfortable in a family setting. Meeting nudist mothers may help your thinking. I don't remember you husband talking about including your children. You can do the family resorts without the kids. Good Luck.
Bob
Have a nice NUDE day !!
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Balto Bob
$ Supporter
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Posted - 08/15/2007 : 5:44:41 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mugwert
HI,.. my name is Cheryl and here is my question.
I recently went to a clothing optional hot spring with my husband and need some advice. My husband enjoys being nude at the clothing optional resorts near our home, and wants to take me to them. He says that he wants me to experience the freedom of being naked. The problem is, that I just can’t get used to the idea of being nude in front of other people. When we first met, I used to sleep nude with him all the time, but now as a married mother of 2, I have a real problem being naked, even in our house.
Cheryl,is it you are no longer the wild young thing you once were? Or is it you don't look like that wild young thing any more?
Only you can answer that question. I don't need to ask your husband his opinion. He wants to spend time naked with the woman he married. How can that be a bad thing? Think about this,too. Do you really like doing Laundry? If everyone in your house showed up for breakfast nude would the world stop? Summer is almost over enjoy it.
One more thing. THANK YOU !! Just logging in shows a lot.
Bob
Have a nice NUDE day !!
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Nightforce
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/15/2007 : 9:50:27 PM
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I too have had a long road to walk trying to convince my wife that just because she is a MOM doesn't mean that she isn't still a WOMAN. She's in the same boat that I guess most Mom's are in; because they've had children they seem to think they have to cease anything that society deems 'wrong' for fear of any possible repercussions. She also seems to think just because she has a few extra pounds and some stretch marks that she'll be deemed hideous and shouldn't be naked in public. I've reassured her as often as I can that I find her attractive just they way she is and I'm sure other men would too. Men seem to have more of a 'so who cares' attitude and are not swayed as much by societal winds. Until more women join in, I don't think societies views will change. So Cheryl, shed those clothes and woes and enjoy some good clean nudity, you'll love it!
On another note, my wife has recently been trying sleeping nude, started just topless and she graduated to bottoms off, suffice it to say I was quite pleased. Her concern is, what if our girls see her sleeping naked? I told her to just tell them she was hot and was more comfortable naked. After a few times of them making statements about her being naked and seeing her boobs they don't even really notice anymore, children are quite accepting and a lot more level headed than most adults.
Chance favors the prepared mind. - Louis Pasteur
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mugwert
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/15/2007 : 11:23:42 PM
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Thanks to all who have given their opinions, it gives me a lot to think about, but I hope everyone who reads this will at least give me an opinion. This is a lot to try and work through, the more information I have the better.
Thanks again
Cheryl
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agde
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/16/2007 : 4:57:49 PM
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Dear Little Voice,
Its ok. Take your time. Experiment. Like after a shower, take a deep breath and feel the air. Think about being alive and life's little joys. Maybe linger and do one other thing before getting dressed. Now how do you choose what to wear? Practicality? Decoration? Think how it might have been to grow up in a family where there was no pressure to be always dressed. On weekends, it might have taken hours before you got round to thinking about clothes. How did you learn about shame and modesty? That's when you, Little Voice, were born. Was it right away about sexuality? Or some other danger? Or to cover some ugliness? By teenage, it of course became clear in retrospect -- definitely sexuality! Thank goodness for clothes as a shield against aggression and inadequacy. But of course clothes were also useful to get the attention of that cute guy. The same one who now wants you to give in to a modesty makeover. Sure its unsettling, but he's a good man and he's sure to protect. It might be wonderful to feel complete and safe both within and without fabric. Maybe you can take a bit of a holiday from worry too, Little Voice. But take your time and just feel the air.
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Edited by - agde on 08/16/2007 5:04:56 PM |
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Bill Bowser
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/16/2007 : 7:55:50 PM
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Cheryl, I hope you are happy with whatever decision you make about accompanying your husband to a clothing-optional venue. Although I can't really speak for the rest of us who enjoy social nudism, I think almost all of us would want you to realize that you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Many of us were once in a similar situation.
I believe that practically all of us who became involved with social nudism as adults were apprehensive before our first visit. I know I was. Exactly why we were remains a mystery. I know that I experienced undefined fears, but they proved to be groundless. I don't know what I was afraid of, and I suspect that if you analyze your thoughts you'll discover that your imagination is misleading you.
Something else you might want to consider is why you find it necessary to keep some parts of your body hidden from view. Do you think that allowing strangers to look at your naked body will somehow cause harm to you or them? (You'll probably be surprised to learn that nobody pays much attention to what other nudists look like.) Trust your husband, he's trying to introduce you to a lifestyle that you'll probably enjoy, but you won't know until you try it.
Good luck,
Bill
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nurserobin
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/16/2007 : 10:31:26 PM
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Hi Cheryl...As a woman who was once a very reluctant participant I want to let you know what got me to try it and keeps me going back... I am an overweight, middle aged woman who was textile through and through - at age 49 I met a man who talked me into going to a nude beach (it took a full 6 months of talking) - what got me there was the trust and love for him and the feeling in me that I wanted to be the type of person who would try different things. What keeps me going is the sharing this activity with him as well as the pure pleasure of feeling sun, wind and water on bare skin. I find that if I focus on the pleasure of these things and the joy I know it gives him to have me there I can forget about my shortcomings and stop caring what other people think of me as I know he thinks I'm beautiful... and that's all that matters. Hope this helps.
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catbird
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/17/2007 : 12:39:38 PM
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Cheryl,
For one thing, it would give your husband much pleasure for you to share in his interest in nude recreation.
Focus on the feeling of joy with the sun, wind, and water on your bare skin.
When you feel that pleasure, any sex thoughts are absent. Nudity doesn't necessarily = sex. Exhibitionism calling attention to sex organs is what is sex.
When you take a shower, you feel a happy feeling without any sexual thoughts.
When you go to the nude beach or resort the first time, it might help to wear a bikini bottom (many women do). Some wear a thong bikini. The beach or resort is clothing optional.
At some point, remove your bikini bottom. Removing the last bit of cloth really does make a difference. You will then feel elated with the sun and wind on your entire body, plus you will have the "Now I did it" feeling. Your husband will share that joy.
BTW, you would see people in all shapes at a nude beach or resort.
Naturally, Catbird
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Calvin
New Member
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Posted - 08/17/2007 : 3:43:36 PM
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Cheryl,
Don't let anyone get you to do anything you aren't ready to do. You have just as much right to feel the way you do as anyone (your husband) else does. When and "if" you decide to do it let it be your decision and your's alone.
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CathyK
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/22/2007 : 7:24:31 PM
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Cheryl,
The fear of being nude in "public" for me was worse than getting up in front of a group of people and speaking, which is like the worst thing I could ever think of doing. But what made me overcome my fears of social nudism was the people. The first time went I swore beforehand that I would not remove my clothes. But the people were so welcoming, warm, and friendly that I felt uncomfortable clothed and disrobed rather quickly. I then felt so much more comfortable, and once that ice was broken, it was like second nature(ist) for me to be nude as long as it was with other nudists.
Cathy
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howard
New Member
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Posted - 08/22/2007 : 8:31:27 PM
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Cheryl,
If you don't feel comfortable nude in front of your children, then perhaps this whole thing is more than just pleasing your husband. When you begin to feel the natural enjoyment and casualness of being nude, try it. It's not wrong or dirty.
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happyshiloh
New Member
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Posted - 08/22/2007 : 10:39:36 PM
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Many thanks to nurserobin...I'm going to have my very first resort experience(not to mention very first public sans textile experience) come October. I'm a wee bit scared...the comments I've been reading have helped...especially Robin...must be that nurturing "nurse thingee"!
OK now...will I find everyone walking around with perfect bodies? All of a sudden I've discovered flaws on my bod I didn't even know I had!Geez...I'd hate to think I have to join the Hemlock Society after this :)
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