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nudeisntlewd
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 Posted - 11/24/2007 : 04:39:00 AM
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Hypersensitive to affection.
I’d like to open a can of worms here. It seems to me that the nudist/naturist set seems so hypersensitive to affection. So violently opposed to the expression of it. Does it make everyone so uncomfortable? Why? Is it a fear of being labeled as “sex perverts?” When a couple holds hands, kisses or hugs on a beach wearing swimwear or street cloths are they also so categorized? I think not. So why then should we feel so restricted? My opinion: We should not! And your and my right is to do so, if so inclined, when the spirit moves. I'm not talking about having sex or fondling.
I understand and agree that we dare not give ourselves a bad name by engaging in acts that are to be private times of deep sexual expression. But I would not and will not hide or repress my feelings for someone based on what we are or are not wearing.
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Nudony
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Posted - 11/24/2007 : 3:30:08 PM
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Organized nudism is actually full of taboos; all designed to maintain a "sex-free" environment. It certainly is a paranoid approach, whether justified or not. The perception is that shedding all these taboos may actually hurt nudism and jeopardize the safety of organized nudism. Whether that is true or not, I do not know. I guess resort managers/owners would have to be much more vigilant, and understanding, if we were to ever to progress to a taboo-less nudist environment.
When my wife and I were still happily married, we were a very touchy-feely couple. It made no sense to us that we felt compelled to maintain a "safe" distance between our nude bodies at the nudist resort. That made a very bad impression on her, who was so used to sitting on my lap or lying across me nude at home. Luckily, we had nudist friends who took no offense when we visited, and cuddled as we would have anywhere else. But it was sad that we simply could not be innocently intimate at the resort.
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pilot
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Posted - 11/24/2007 : 4:15:55 PM
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Affection is not the issue. Nudists often hold hands, give a hug, or even give a chaste peck on the cheek. "Public displays of affection" is a euphemism for public display of conventionally private behavior. The point is that nudity should not give license to behavior that is inappropriate in otherwise textiled situations.
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nudeisntlewd
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 Posted - 11/24/2007 : 4:35:48 PM
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I completely agree that there should be no sexual displays, but there is nothing wrong with holding your girl, frolicking in the surf or a kiss on the lips. I've seen people giving each other a couple of loving pecks on the lips on the train and I didn't blush or faint. I thought it was nice to see.
Being divorced, it's nice to see young people happy. --That works for older people too!
At Haulover, I often see lovely couples walking together 3 feet apart, like there’s a force field or something. That’s just ridiculous.
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SFbayGuy
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Posted - 11/24/2007 : 4:42:29 PM
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My experience at resorts is limited. I'm more of a beach guy. I have been to Lupin, which is a very nice facility in the Los Gatos hills near San Jose, CA. My several experiences there were always enjoyable and, quoting from Lupin's literature (http://www.lupinlodge.org/introvisit.html#new:
"You'll find Lupin's overall ambience family-like and non-erotic. The underlying absence of sexual pressure minimizes stress and assures the safety and comfort of everyone, especially children.
Management is responsive to complaints to the contrary, as feedback from members and guests is very helpful in screening out those who would engage in predatory or otherwise inappropriate behavior."
This policy is self-explanatory and it works. It provides a relaxed, non-sexual atmosphere, which I found very enjoyable. If I want a different experience I will need to travel farther from home. That's okay as there are other options out there.
SFbayGuy
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nudeisntlewd
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Posted - 11/24/2007 : 4:48:37 PM
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Dealing with people that would make the place appear erotic is a great idea. But don't you think kids should see that it's natural and good that people enjoy and love each other? They see way too much hatred, cruetly, selfishness, violence and coldness.
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Edited by - nudeisntlewd on 11/24/2007 4:58:35 PM |
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Cheri
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Posted - 11/24/2007 : 6:03:04 PM
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Randy, I would never give my husband a big, sloppy, intimate kiss at a nudist club, landed or nonlanded. I have given him a peck on the lips. We do hug & hold hands. Anything more is not something done in the public areas of any club or any non-nudist venue as well.
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Nudony
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Posted - 11/24/2007 : 8:13:45 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by pilot
Affection is not the issue. Nudists often hold hands, give a hug, or even give a chaste peck on the cheek. "Public displays of affection" is a euphemism for public display of conventionally private behavior. The point is that nudity should not give license to behavior that is inappropriate in otherwise textiled situations.
It seems you're thinking "passionate displays of physical attraction." Which is on the extreme end of dispays of affection. Sure, while married I certainly would not have fondled or french kissed my wife in public. But she has sat on my lap in public (by public I mean the textile beach, park or other natural settings; not the middle of the street, obviously). I've laid my head against her chest in public, and we have cuddled in public. And we have wrestled and played in public pools, which obviously involved much natural physical contact. All of which were openly and well accepted behavior at these locations.
But all these are a no-no at the nudist resort. I think that was nudeisntlewd's point.
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Edited by - Nudony on 11/24/2007 8:15:47 PM |
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pilot
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Posted - 11/24/2007 : 11:50:12 PM
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Nudony...
I understand what you are saying, and my sense is that we are not too far apart on what is reasonable behavior and what is not. Couples sometimes choose not to hold hands and so on. But my experience at c/o and nude destinations is that it's fairly easy to distinguish simple affection and healthy play from erotic display.
There's also some relevant context. "Huddle and cuddle" at a football game when it's freezing in the stands is simply different from 95 degrees and bright sunshine. Physical contact in a game of water (pool)volleyball is something that happens if you play hard enough. Putting sunscreen on the parts that your partner can't reach is not only expected but commonsense safety, textiled or otherwise.
I think the issues lie at the end of the spectrum. A passionate kiss while textiled in a public park might yield a sigh of "Ahh, young love..." from an onlooker. At a family nude resort, the onlooker will have a decidedly chillier response.
Just my $0.02
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nudeisntlewd
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Posted - 11/25/2007 : 02:42:03 AM
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I agree with Cheri. I wouldn't get sloppy either. I don't think that looks good anytime, anywhere. Sounds like everyone that's posted here is right about where I am on the issue. I've just sensed by other threads and discussions that there seems to be this fear that people will lose control of their behaviors and give us a bad name. But by what I've read here, maybe I'm worried about nothing. Maybe they aren't as restrictive as I thought.
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FireProf
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Posted - 11/25/2007 : 10:00:25 AM
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Well..........I do kiss the Professor, on the lips, hug her numerous times, pat her on the butt and apply sunscreen to her back and butt many times during the day at nudist venues.
I love my wife, we are affectionate and we are not about to be ashamed of that love because we are at a nudist venue. We know the bounderies and etiquette. We practice what we preach to others; "just because we're naked doesn't give you the right to do things you normally wouldn't if we were clothed."
We've witnessed fondling, gropping, masterbation and even more on the beach. I don't see how my applying sunscreen to the Prof's bottom in a loving and delicate manner can be compared to some of the other stuff that goes on at the beach or at some clubs or resorts. I'm not about to apply lotion to my wife's backside in the same manner I would a male or female friend.
Yes, our lifestyle has become hypersensitive to displays of affection. So much so that any and all displays are taboo and that not only undermines us as nudists but also as adults.
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nudeisntlewd
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Posted - 11/25/2007 : 3:32:03 PM
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FireProf,
I think we think exactly alike. I guess it's not all in my head. Not much more I can say.
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DanLo
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Posted - 11/30/2007 : 3:30:23 PM
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The only problem with holding your partner's hand or any form of touching usually (for me)
leads to an unwanted erection. If I just hold my partner's hand while getting out of the
water at a nude beach, I usually gave to fight an erection
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FireProf
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Posted - 11/30/2007 : 6:49:55 PM
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Just make sure you are wearing a ball cap so you can cover if the need arises!!
 (just a little humor!)
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Veena
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/02/2007 : 1:56:50 PM
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It’s completely depends on the owners of the place to set the rules as they please, but logically looking at it, you should be able to do whatever you do when you are clothed. For example, we see young people who make out at bus stops and what not. My argument is this should be any different because you are in a nudist place. You don’t have to restrain your feelings, it’s not a prison.
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melissastarr
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Posted - 12/02/2007 : 3:36:11 PM
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Whatever is APPROPRIATE in a clothed setting would/ should be appropriate in a nudist setting, IMHO. Making out at a bus stop is not appropriate. There are children around. I'm not talking about a kiss or a hug here- I've seen true 'making out' that is inappropriate for children- and me!- to see in public. It certainly wouldn't be any more acceptable in a nudist setting than it is at a bus stop. But, sure, hugging and kissing that is not 'overly so' should certainly be ok in a nudist environment just as it's ok in a clothed environment. Personally, though, I think there are many places and people who take it waaaaaay too far even in a clothed environment (I live near Philadelphia. I won't say what I've seen there.)
Melissa
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"Do they say that nudity and sex always go together? Well, then be careful and don't get pregnant while taking a bath."
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Nudist hypersensitivity to displays of affection.
