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Warmskin
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 Posted - 08/10/2008 : 6:10:05 PM
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I've recently been to two nudist resorts. Like any other social organization, people mostly talk with the people there that they already know. Sometimes a new person can feel like an outsider, especially if he or she is a bit introverted. It would help the first timers at a resort if they would be acknowledged as such, so that the other nudists would introduce themselves to that neophyte. My first three visits to naturists camps have been struggles for me. It's hard to break into a circle of people who are energetically talking with themselves.
I was able to force myself into a conversation from time to time. I cannot say that I have made any friends at nudist resorts, but I am trying. If one is part of a couple going to a nudist resort, or other social venues, then at least you would have more of a chance to make friends. For a single male who is a little introverted, it can be frustrating.
I have been trying to meet single women who are nudists, but it seems impossible. I have written many emails to women on [Spam site removed] dot com, and have had only one reply that was not fruitful. What to do.
Any advice on how to proceed would be gratefully received by me. Thanks
That government governs best, which governs least - Thomas Jefferson
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
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NudeAl
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/11/2008 : 12:12:56 AM
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I think you are mixing apples and oranges here friend.
Go to a resort on a weekend that they are having a special event like a open house or some special event a dance might be a good one. Do some research on the web and call ahead mention to the person how you really want to make a few friends and see if they can introduce you around.
Now as to the issue of a female companion. Slim chance of meeting a female nudist at the club.A better bet is to get into the dating scene and make a some friends there but about the 2nd or 3rd date let them know you are a nudist and make no excuses for it. If they are really oppossed to the idea let them go and move on. Keep going until you find a likely companion, then ask her to join you at the club for a day even see if there is a special event like a dance to go to with her. Not a very original idea I suppose but most simple solutions work. Good luck
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. -- Robert Frost
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/11/2008 : 03:04:16 AM
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quote:
"I think you are mixing apples and oranges here friend.
Go to a resort on a weekend that they are having a special event like a open house or some special event a dance might be a good one. Do some research on the web and call ahead mention to the person how you really want to make a few friends and see if they can introduce you around.
Now as to the issue of a female companion. Slim chance of meeting a female nudist at the club.A better bet is to get into the dating scene and make a some friends there but about the 2nd or 3rd date let them know you are a nudist and make no excuses for it. If they are really oppossed to the idea let them go and move on. Keep going until you find a likely companion, then ask her to join you at the club for a day even see if there is a special event like a dance to go to with her. Not a very original idea I suppose but most simple solutions work. Good luck"
Thank you for some great insights, NudeAl. I will definitely find out when they have that sort of activity. My being introverted, although I love to make a few friends, doesn't lend a lot to mixing with people I don't know. I think a "formal event" such open house for new people gives the newbie a special chance to he a focal point for a while, and thus become known quantities among the rest. People like me are better off talking one-on-one.
Case in point -- I was going around on a lake in a small self-powered boat, staying on the perimeter of the lake. I came across a woman who asked me how it was on the lake. I stopped and talked with her for a while, and then went on to other places in the lake. She was resting, and looking over the lake, so it was a perfect opportunity to talk for a bit. She was free to talk to me at that moment, as opposed to being occupied with other friends.
I have a strong feeling that if I were quite extroverted, that I wouldn't have this problem. The party-hearty folks, if they were brand new to a nudist resort, may well not have my kind of problem in trying to "work" a crowd."
This is not to say that almost every social event of all kinds I have been to, the same things happen there, too. After a meeting, people break up into their own clusters and talk among themselves. It's like physics or chemistry. I can be likened to a free electron flying around seeking a molecule to latch onto for a bit. The molecules are stable, and not looking for anymore electrons. So, I have to energetically "crash into" to join a molecule somehow. See, I'm a dedicated geek. Hahahah Darned analogies!! So, I like your idea, NudeAl.
I'm going to call the office and ask about co-ordinated introductions at an open house. Wherever you go, people are people, nude or clothed.
It's interesting that for me, being nude for the first time among other people was the easy part, and I would guess that that facet of the initital attempt at social nudism can be the most difficult part. For me, it's ironic. My old habits are still with me -- I love nudism, but it's hard for me to meet strangers when they are busily talking with others. I have to laugh when I think of people who are terrified to be nude, yet can barge right in and join in on coversations at will. For most or all things there is a symmetrical opposite.
That government governs best, which governs least - Thomas Jefferson
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
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Cookie
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/11/2008 : 08:19:03 AM
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It is almost 15 years since we experianced our first "nude" resort.
The two of us were so shy, we thought everyone was looking at us all the time. Needless to say the answer was no!!
The first couple of timees we went on a Sunday, and the pond was always crowded, and their seemed to "clic's", if you know what I mean.
We decided to go for a weekend, and on Saturday evening they had a Chili Cookoff.
We met a few couples, and they made us feel right at home, and now 15 years later we are best friends, and we have met more through the years. So when the leaves starting falling off the trees, the cold northeast winds start blowing, we have party a least once a month, taking turns at someone's house!!!
Remember, we are here for only a short time, so let's have a great time.
Cookie
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nudeisbetter
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Posted - 08/11/2008 : 08:34:54 AM
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We go to the same place Cookie goes and have found similar results. It wasn't very hard to find people to talk to and we've made some good friends in several different cliques - there's always someone around, something to do. However a single male looking for a date would not do well at all. He could hang out with other couples (we've had single males in the group) but I don't usually see single women there.
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Cheri
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Posted - 08/11/2008 : 4:44:55 PM
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Warmskin, If you're in CA, you might want to contact the SCNA, a nonlanded club affiliated with AANR that does have younger folk.
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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http://pages.prodigy/cheridonna
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blackrebel
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Posted - 08/11/2008 : 5:45:38 PM
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If a single man I can fully understand your position. Whether you are at a nudist venue for a regular menu is very difficult to meet single women these days. The secret I found however, is to just live it and do not look for in a just and for people to hang around with in things will happen. In other words, don’t go looking for a date. Just go looking for fun.
As for looking for a nudist woman, a lot of luck with that. What I’ve found is that if I go out and find a woman I am interested in, she will find out one way or the other that I am a nudist and I make no apology for that. To fact is I don’t hide it, and I mention nudism and just in passing this if it is something normal. Not long afterwards, I tell her I may be going to a resort for an event and invite her to come along. Usually, the lifestyle is explained to her after she has they few questions.
No shame
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NCLynn
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/11/2008 : 6:08:43 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Warmskin
Like any other social organization, people mostly talk with the people there that they already know. Sometimes a new person can feel like an outsider, especially if he or she is a bit introverted.
Warmskin, I suffer from the same semi-introverted issue. At my age (52) I should have gotten past this problem, but when I am in a new environment or around people I don't know, I find it difficult to start up conversations. I respond well when approached by others, but the idea of approaching someone is difficult. This is one of the reasons I have not visited a resort/club alone. I hope that I will be able to do so in the future. Thanks for sharing your concerns. You are not alone! Lynn
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Calbob
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Posted - 08/11/2008 : 7:44:43 PM
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One way for a newcomer to become acquainted with other club members is to soak in the hot tub. As other members get in, and others leave, there is often a general conversation going on and everyone contributes their $.02 worth. Some days, most of the world's problems get solved there!
Another suggestion- Forget what you learned in the Army, VOLUNTEER! Often, when there is a special event such as a chili cookoff or Luau, a club needs volunteers to help put it on. You'll meet many of the members that way, and before you know it, you'll feel more like part of the group.
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melissastarr
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Posted - 08/13/2008 : 2:02:15 PM
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I can be pretty introverted at times, too. Even more so when I'm at a place in which I know nobody. But I think that I recover from that a little bit by joining in the activities- whether or not I want to, because sometimes it feels really daunting to join in by myself with the strangers- and listen to people. I find that people generally enjoy talking about themselves if given a chance, so I ask questions and listen well. That's probably the easiest way that I can find to develop the starts of a relationship or feel comfortable with somebody. Like Calbob said, the hot tub is a great place for these things to happen because everyone in there is generally talking as a group and one more voice is pretty much always accepted.
On the male/ female front I'm not entirely sure what to say. I can't relate to being a single male as I'm a little bit less frightening to people because I'm a female. (I like to think I don't frighten people off anyway, though.) But as a fellow single person, I can throw a few pointers out and you can take what you want and leave the rest. First of all, we can't go to resorts and clubs with the sole intention of meeting someone of the opposite sex who will interest us. This has definitely been true for me as I have a hard time finding someone there who is around my age (I'm 33.) So that can't be the expectation, even though I am a single female. To the question of when or how to tell someone, I'm pretty much open from the start about it. I have had profiles on some regular dating sites and I ALWAYS tell people up front that I'm a nudist. Why? Because I wouldn't even consider dating/ marrying someone who isn't a nudist. What's the point? A big part of my life is nudism and one of my goals is to help people understand what nudism is and to accept nudists for who we are without calling us sluts or nasty people. I just don't see any reason to date non-nudists or those who aren't open to trying it.
All in all, we just need to be ourselves and not be ashamed of who we are. I would never- at this point- tell people that I'm a nudist in a shy or apologetic way, though I may have long ago. Being a nudist is nothing to be ashamed of. Furthermore, the longer it takes to tell someone that you're a nudist, the greater chance that they'll think you've been hiding this huge horrible secret from them. Especially with women, who appear to be more reluctant about nudity than men.
I wish you luck in all of this. Let us know how things go!
Melissa
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"Be who you are and say how you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" -Dr. Seuss
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Country: USA
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/18/2008 : 6:07:57 PM
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Thank you, all for your input!!! Great ideas and observations you have come up with. I did notice that I was able to converse in the hot tubs, much moreso than in the swimming pool, or other parts of the resort. Volunteering and joining non-landed clubs are no doubt excellent ideas, because in the ordinary paths of life, that is where you meet people.
I agree with the concept of putting one's life priorities at the top of the list. However, if there are potential mates are set against nudism, then that's that. If they they already are nudists, or are open minded, then there certainly is a potential of going to a resort as a couple. All along, there are always risks, but there are risks in much that we do.
If one were to boil it down to -- what percent of the population is okay, or at least can tolerant with nudism? If it is, say, 50%, then the odds would be favorable. I know there are surverys on the public reaction to skinny-dipping, communal nudity, etc.
When meeting someone in the textile world, I wouldn't come right out in my hello's and say that I am a nudist, but as we got to know each other more, I would tell the other person about my being a nudist. In other words, it could be a natural evolvement of a friendship.
I would not wait a very long time, or else I'm wasting her and my time. Sometimes, one's intuition can can be the judge, based on what her attitude about life appears to be. Whatever the case, to a shy person, trying to navigate the the single's world can be difficult enough, but adding nudism to it all can be a bit trickier. It's worth the trouble if you can meet a nudist-friendly partner.
I have observed that often, couples have an easier time in talking among themselves. That's wherever I've been, especially in my childhood observations when a couple would visit our home.
Again, thanks for all your wonderful suggestions and concepts!!
That government governs best, which governs least - Thomas Jefferson
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/18/2008 : 6:46:50 PM
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The latest Roper Poll that the Naturist Education Foundation (an arm of TNS) states that there is a high number who have nothing against skinny dipping and in fact, that number has risen since an earlier poll.
Here are the numbers: In 1983, 72% of Americans approved of nude beaches. In a recent poll, that is up to 80% in the 2000 poll. The ‘83 poll also said that 15% of Americans have joined in co-ed Nude recreation.
The ‘83 poll also stated that 25% of young Americans enjoyed sunning or swimming nude. The newer poll suggests that more than 51 million, up from 33 million, have at one time or other enjoyed skinny dipping and at least 161 million Americans support our rights to our lifestyle.
I rev up our nudist social life by attending club events.
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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http://pages.prodigy/cheridonna
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blackrebel
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/18/2008 : 6:59:16 PM
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quote:
I rev up our nudist social life by attending club events.
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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http://pages.prodigy/cheridonna
I agree. Once I am back in my own place, I will take efforts to have my own gatherings that will also introduce more. My current sorta gf will not feel easy about this, so i need my own place to do what I need to do.
No shame
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Country: USA
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/19/2008 : 02:04:42 AM
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Thank you, Cheri! Fascinating statistics. I like to get the macro view on such things. It helps folks like me foresee the chances of meeting someone who is at least okay with nudism. I'll definitely keep those stats in mind. I wouldn't be surprised if those figures varied somewhat from state to state.
Once, I did place a personal ad wherein I stated that I liked naturism. Someone wrote back and told me that she liked plants and animals, too. True story!! Honest.
That government governs best, which governs least - Thomas Jefferson
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/28/2008 : 01:02:34 AM
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I had my second visit to that nudist resort. This time I concentrated on talking with people, and nothing much else. They have this long, skinny spa in the main pool area. I waded in and waited for the conversation to get into a topic that I knew about, and then piped up.
I tried to mix some good emotions into my conversation and succeeded to a good degree. I kept telling myself about my goal. The hardest obstacle for some reason was the swimming pool. I tried to figure out ways to crash a conversation and had some success.
I met a fair amount of people in the pool, but made no permanent friends as yet. I suppose that repeated encounters with these folks will help, since I am a little bit known quantity. Perhaps from the little seed will sprout a big tree; you never know.
I appreciate all the comments so far. Thank you. Look forward to any more of them.
That government governs best, which governs least - Thomas Jefferson
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
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sailawaybob
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/21/2008 : 02:37:53 AM
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I remember a lot of clic's at the clubs I visited , the one that I spent the most time at I called clic weekend, because on the weekend all you need to do was look around, for those that experience the same try the week days when most are at work. Usually when you visit at that time there will be 2-3 maybe six folks at most a more relaxed group that are easier to mix with
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How do you rev up your nudist social life?
