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Omnistica
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 Posted - 09/16/2008 : 7:23:19 PM
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So i've recently broken up with my ex-boyfriend. I'm a divorced 36 year old mother with a taste for nudity. It all started a year into my on and off dating. Long story short one of my few exs helped me release my inhibitions and i took up nudism. After learning a few core values from my last ex i've decided i would like to bring my two kids into nudism. My eldest being my son has just hit 15 and my youngest 11.
I know these are core times for the kids and getting their 'social identification' but i'd love to help them realise the natural wonders of the human body and how they should not be covered up. I've planned to book on a nudist resort and am currently waiting for a list off of my friend of the most local ones.
I've talked to both of my children and being in a secluded area have started going nude about my daily jobs when i'm home. My son was admittedly shocked and my daughter took it quite well. What i'm most worried about is that my son has often worried about his body and he admitted he was ready to try it, but was still quite embarrassed. After trying a few full days during the summer with the two of them my son covered up almost instantly.
I noticed he had a problem with erections, and if anyone has any advice on how to combat those that'd be great. He's also very unnerved about his sister seeing him like that. Anyway, in all my daughter is little of a problem but if anyone has any advice on how to encourage my son that would be great. Thanks in advance.
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NudeAl
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Posted - 09/17/2008 : 10:59:48 AM
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Tough age to enter nudism for a male.
The body is changing and erections just seem to happen all the time. I remember having them in school and having to worry about being noticed. BBC America has a wonderful new series called Skins. It portrays a bunch of high school age kids and the things they go through. In one episode a young male accidentally takes Viagra and has to go through a 24 hour period with an erection, really funny. I think he just needs to learn that his body is doing this and he really doesn't have to be embarrassed over it. In our society we do make fun of them though so you will have a tough time convincing him. I think he may be feeling his lack of control of this when he is nude around you and his sister is making him feel like he is unnaturally attracted to both of you. If he were somehow made to understand that his body is just growing he isn't weird or a sexual deviant. One of the things the body needs to do to be healthy is to exercise that that area of his body. Males are very self conscious of this part of their body really insecure over it being to small or embarrassed when they get erect in non sexual situations. However a teen male gets a dozen or more erections a day. I don't know if there are any good books that address this in a manner a teenage boy could appreciate. Just let him know that you understand and you are not embarrassed in the least in fact you are happy to see he is a healthy teen age boy and for him not to worry about it. If that is what is holding him back his embarrassment over getting erections tell him you don't mind but if he would prefer he can cover it with a towel. It would be really great if you can find a club that has other teenage boys in it his age, there are a few. They also have this AANR sponsored summer camp for teens I think the last one was at White Tail park in VA. One thing I know I wasn't successful in transferring my love of nudism on to my kids. They all went with me when they were young however they stopped when they hit puberty and never picked it up again however my daughter is routinely nude around her home in front of her kids. If he had the chance to be around boys his won age who were members of a nudist club he might have an easier time accepting it. When you are looking for a club consider that. It would be wonderful to be able to find a club with a couple of families that have teenage sons. Good luck, you are doing a good job keep it up.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. -- Robert Frost
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Cheri
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Posted - 09/17/2008 : 11:29:09 AM
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If the children's father/s isn't in the picture, it's your decision. Just don't make a big deal about nudity and it won't be. The 11 yr. old will most like take to it very well. As stated above, it will be a bit more difficult for your 15 yr. old. Most of the AANR regions have youth camps and this would be a great way for them to be indoctrinated into a nude life with you. My club had 2 new youngsters to nudism attend the NY camp this summer, and they are now confirmed nudists. One is 8 and the other 11.
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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http://pages.prodigy/cheridonna
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Nudony
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Posted - 09/17/2008 : 8:58:04 PM
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If all these facts are correct, you're definitely one of a lucky few. Most people in my experience who try to introduce nudism to teens are never quite able to get it right. "Son will go nude with Mom but not with sister, and daughter will go nude in front of brother but not in front of Dad" are the type of logistical issues I've often seen.
But you're already ahead of the curve in that respect. Kudos. At this stage though, my advice would be to put a resort trip on hold. It seems to me your son is not quite ready emotionally to be placed in the midst of a social nudist crowd. There is a chance he'd actually be okay; but the odds of him embracing the experience would be greatly enhanced if he went in with a reasonable degree of self-assurance. You mentionned being nude at home on a recurrent basis. That's good; maintain that practice. One poster; I think allnaturalmom, even strongly recommended NEVER wearing clothes at home. I'm not sure that's necessary; but it certainly "drives home" the idea that nude is the preferred state. I would also recommend declaring your home "clothing-optional"; if you haven't done it already. Encourage the kids to sleep nude; if they do, they'd be more enclined to remain nude after their evening bath/shower routine. After all, it would make very little sense to bathe, get dressed and then undress again before going to bed.
As far as your son, he will probably opt for semi-privacy. That's fine. If he feels more comfortable being nude in his room, let him. As a matter of fact, encourage him. The more time he spends nude, even by himself, the more his erections will begin to subside. If your daughter goes to bed earlier than him, then encourage him to come out and watch some TV after she retires for the evening. I was not a nudist at 15 and I was very body-shy; but if I knew that Mom was out in the living room nude every evening, and she encouraged me to be nude...maybe after the fourth or fifth trip to the fridge and seeing her sitting nude on the couch, I would have felt compelled to disrobe before walking out. And from there, all you have to do is engage a conversation. And there you have it; you're interacting with your son nude.
Now for the next step. You said your daughter and yourself were already comfortable nude around each other. Pick a week-end when everyone is going to be home. Declare it a "Nude Fun Day" and select an array of activities (board games, Playstation, and - if you have a private backyard - frisbee or volleyball). Leave very little down time between activities. If you and your daughter are nude the entire time; and if you have been repeatedly interacting with your son nude, then this will greatly facilitate your son's last obstacle: being nude in front of his sister. If you schedule back to back fun activities, even if your son initially participates dressed, the constant, day-long interaction with his nude sister will more than likely help dissipate some of his fears/concerns. That's when you should encourage him to join in. If he refuses: no problem. Continue on having fun in the nude and let him know that his personal comfort level is important to you. But again, my personal perspective from when I was 15: if it was just my Mom and a sibling, playing, cooking and interacting non-stop nude throughout the entire day; I would ultimately feel as if I was "missing out". It might have taken an hour or two, and I might have been nude sporadically versus constantly; but there's no way I would have spent the whole day dressed. And from there, regardless of the level of success achieved, I would schedule several more of the "Nude Fun Days." The more it become a routine, the more your son's fears will dissipate.
The reason why so many people fail here is because they do not take a consistent approach and do not make a repeated effort. Being nude "every now and then" or "only every other Sunday" simply does not cut it. Repetition, repetition and routinization. Only then does it really become an integral part of the family life - and not something that is merely "Mom and/or Dad's weird little habit."
When he has achieved a fair level of self-confidence, book a trip to your nearest nudist venue. By then, his perception of and response to the nude female form should be less "tense"; which is another issue with bringing him too early - the inexperienced sight of a nude female his age could result in a very strong emotional response. If he has repeatedly interacted with his mother and sister nude; then this reaction - although probably not totally absent - will at least be more subdued and easier to control.
I hope my post was relevant - and that it at least presented you with a possible framework to work with. All situations are different; which will require you to adapt and reformulate. But then again, being a single Mom - I'm sure you're used to it.
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Edited by - Nudony on 09/17/2008 9:26:09 PM |
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NudeAl
Forum Member
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Posted - 09/18/2008 : 11:31:47 AM
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One suggestion is to go nude at home as much as it will be comfortable to do so. My wife and I are nude much of the time around the house but our 15 year old son isn't. However in the evening he will just be in a pair of loose boxers. He is comfortable that way and I see no reason to push him on that. One thing you may have to acknowledge is the right he has to be dressed as he feels comfortable. Never try to force the issue of nudity it will make things worse. One more thing that I have found is most people are more comfortable in first time nudity in water either at a pool or hot tub or something like that. If there is a chance to try that he might be more inclined to go nude.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. -- Robert Frost
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Omnistica
New Member
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Posted - 09/18/2008 : 4:02:28 PM
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I've both organized a nude weekend this weekend which'll be including monopoly (We all love monopoly ^^) and an array of games but i'll also make this 'clothing-optional' business a set rule. I'm sure my daughter will be enthralled as she had a real kick from it during the summer. Also one of the slight problems i see is the 'womenly week' as i call it that my daughter has started to experience. I could see her being somewhat embarrassed about it with her brother and this also means she would keep her underwear on, which may make my son feel like he stands out a bit (He's shy and quite self-conscious regardless of if i was nude too)
Thanks for all the feedback so far.
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Nudony
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Posted - 09/18/2008 : 9:03:50 PM
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That's not a problem. That's only five or so days where she would be keeping underwear on. Just plan your nude week-end around it so that no one gets self-conscious.
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agde
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Posted - 09/21/2008 : 04:28:53 AM
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A lot of good advice above so just a few thoughts on your 15 yr old.
When I was a naturist teen, my dad and I discussed strategies. First, we agreed that erections happen, and often for no particular reason. If anxiety is added to the mix, its pretty unmanageable. So what to do? Well, he explained that you don't really want to get into general suppression mode. That's unhealthy. It's better just to have a reliable coping routine to reduce the anxiety. Everybody is different, but we discussed what might work for me and my thing turned out to be sitting down and doing a quick math problem. My younger sister would often "helpfully" propose one. It was just a way to get my brain, and hence body, into a different mode -- one that didn't focus on dealing with embarrassment. Knowing that everyone understood, wasn't freaked out, and knew my routine helped me relax. It may take a couple months for your son to figure out his routine and practice it, but then the worst is over. For me, it was good to know from the outset that it is something that every guy goes through, and that with a routine it quickly gets easier to deal with. Meantime, your son also of course will be getting used to seeing and learning a lot about female bodies -- like "womenly week" where he learns that guys have the erection inconvenience but being a girl has inconveniences too! We get to take turns being mutually understanding. Overall, as my dad pointed out, learning about all this in a naturist family context puts you way ahead of other teen guys, you can be more relaxed and confident, and others will sense that, including the cute girls!
Btw, associating playing monopoly with clothes-free time is a good idea. Keeping things "situational" helps kids. School clothes, church clothes, nude body-airing after baths/showers, pajamas are redundant when you aleady are "wearing" sheets and blankets, "tv time" is nude time, game time is nude time, vacuuming is nude time, cooking requires apron, etc. It just highlights the purpose of clothing and integrates nudity into normal activities, instead of making it a focus in itself.
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Edited by - agde on 09/21/2008 05:19:21 AM |
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suscolli
New Member
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 Posted - 10/10/2009 : 1:04:27 PM
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I think that you need to teach your son that an erection is normal and natural and it is only embarrassing for him the first time. In our family nudity is practiced in the backyard pool and my son develops frequent erections while swimming with my husband, myself and his sister. His dad did explain to him about boys and growing up and it has never been a problem.
Sue
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n/a
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Posted - 04/08/2012 : 10:25:20 PM
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i think even if I wasnt into nudism as a teen I had hoped if my mother ever saw me with erections she would have taken time to tell me they are normal,natural etc rather then never telling me anything or teaching me about things in life that a teen would find emberrasing.
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n/a
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Posted - 04/09/2012 : 07:43:51 AM
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But I am also very pleased to see a nudist parent actually wanting to have their children involved with their nudism, most parents just dismiss the idea that nudism is truly a good family thing. My mother went to a nude resort when I was 12 never told us or asked if we would like to go. Years later when she discovered I was into nudism she still was silent on admitting she has gone to nude resort etc and was very little supportive with letting me go nude.
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Bob Knows
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Posted - 04/09/2012 : 12:32:36 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by renobiker
i think even if I wasn't into nudism as a teen I had hoped if my mother ever saw me with erections she would have taken time to tell me they are normal,natural etc rather then never telling me anything or teaching me about things in life that a teen would find embarrassing.
Mom can say all she wants, but when the young man never sees any naked man with a normal swollen penis because all "nudists" are forced to hide our body "shame," then the boy growing up will hear what he sees and not the words of the mother. The very fact that she's telling him only reinforces the realization that his natural body is something to be hidden and ashamed of in public.
It won't become possible to teach boys not to be ashamed of their bodies until the grownup "nudist" men stop forcing body shame on the nude public.
Blessings
Bob
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 01/05/2014 : 9:31:51 PM
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For what it's worth, I'd take my family to a secluded spot in a wilderness or similar place, and try out naturism there, away from others. Take them to a spot where there are things to do that would keep their minds off themselves and their nudity. Nothing like activity to redirect the mind from self to activities. I used to go to the Sierra Nevada and play around in a creek. I'd move a log to a spot on the creek and dam up the creek, causing the water to back up and form a pool. I did all that in the nude.
In that light, I'd find a place for my family, who might want to try nudism, where they can play in the nude, away from the crowds, where it's just the family at play. If there is an erection, who is going to care?
Once you find out that you can play in the nude in the outdoors without dysfunction, you can graduate to a nudist resort, or you just might be happy in a remote place in the wilderness.
“I rise early almost every morning and sit in my chamber, without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing.”
Ben Franklin
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baie rouge nudists
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Posted - 01/08/2014 : 9:03:20 PM
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Fifteen is a difficult age for your son. Since it is just you and your daughter, he may feel as a male that seeing mom and sis naked is not natural. This may be due to pre-concieved notions about nudity. The trouble may stem from his fear of being "outed" by his peers. Teenage boys can be very cruel and competitive. Explaining to him that it is perfectly normal to have an erction at that age when in the company of naked females is normal. The whole "roll over until it goes away" is difficult at his age. Boys of a certian age may equate the idea of other boys being naked and liking it is somehow associated with homosexuality in the minds of some teenagers. Or the fact that nude women are exhibitionists like in girly magazines and that may stem his reluctance to embrace nudity. Fear of his friends finding out about being part a nudist family may be creating anxiety as well and be a cause of his reluctance. We have seen in news stories how children are bullied by their peers for reasons because of their looks or the fact that they may feel their behaviors do not conform to what they believe is "normal and acceptable" to their peers. Having your son in a nudist environment with youngsters his age will definitely help as education is most important.Since dad is not around, he may need constant re-assurance that an erection is perfectly normal. Do not give up on him. Nudity is a wonderful way of living as you know. Assure your son that nudity is not sexual in nature though his body and mindset tells him differently by his reaction that it is perfectly normal and that some day he will see how fortunate he is to be raised in a household without shame. We applaud you and wish you luck on raising happy and healthy children.
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ian_j
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Posted - 05/13/2015 : 3:07:13 PM
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Makes me wonder if the son is self conscience about being nude is because
he is in a household with two females (no offense) maybe he needs
reassurance that its okay to be nervous at first
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MikeinFL10
New Member
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Posted - 08/21/2015 : 12:59:00 PM
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Understand your dilemma and can help. Raised a nude boy and girl so been down that road.
Email me: mhmike1950@yahoo.com.
Or Yahoo Messenger: mhmike1950
Let's chat so I can help you
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Son and Daughter Confused?
