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nature_r_us
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 Posted - 07/26/2003 : 06:23:36 AM
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I am 27, and fell in love with a girl turned to be nudist! (Didn't know or show sorry!)
I am not nudist. I want to marry her. Should I be nudist 1st to marry her OR should I ask her to quit it?
If she does not quit, how can I trust her when she goes alone (incase I did not accept to be a nudist) but still we decide to stay together?
please help light shed on this confusing issue.
thank you in advance.
(no flames please, this is serious)
nature_r_us
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Cheri
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Posted - 07/26/2003 : 12:30:45 PM
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nature_r_us, Nudism is a healthy, family-oriented lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with it. If you love her, give this lifestyle a chance. You have nothing to loose but a good time. The only difference between nudists and others is that after a large meal, nudists have no belt to loosen.
If you were a scuba diver or play golf or tennis, would she attempt it to see if it was for her?
If you trust in your mate and know she wouldn't hurt you, it would be good if you did try it. Generally speaking nudists are the most accepting of just about any group of people you'll ever meet.
Regards, Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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NUDKIWI
Forum Member
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Posted - 07/26/2003 : 11:52:36 PM
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nature-r-us,try going to a clothes optional beach,club or resort with her and see what her lifestyle is all about,i'm willing to bet a six-pack you'll end up getting naked.Problem solved.
Yours Naturally KIWI.
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eva-germany
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Warm01
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 Posted - 08/05/2003 : 12:51:29 AM
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nature_r_us
Well let me tell u a little something , U say u fell in Love with a nudist and u are not a nudist. When u love someone that u want to spend your life with, there is compromise
and u try to adapt to what she likes, as long as u are not hurting any one else along the way and u or her are not committing a crime.
# 2 U say u fell in love with her for what she is all about and her being a nudist is part of what she is all about so except her for it. Dont try to change it because she will resent u sometime later and hold it against u.
# 3 Trust, that is a big word in todays society, all i can say is that all she is doing is shedding her clothes to be comforable in her way she feels to be comforable dont blame her for that , and live and let live. If u try it and u are ok with it great, then all the problem is solved but, if u go to a nude beach or resort with her and u dont like it then u have to have trust that she is yours and nothing else is happening just because that she is naked elsewhere and u are not around her at that moment.  It the same thing if she goes to the mall without u by her self to shop just beacsue she is wearing clothes does not mean some guy wont try to hit on her. And if she truly loves u then she will say to him she is taken ,But if u start making her choose between u or being a nudist u might loose out (not sure how strong or how long she has been one )!
Try it with her slowly in your own way give your self time and give her time . What I mean by time is like 6 months and then if u dont feel that u can live with her way of being a nudist , and really bothers u , then u where never in love with her to begin with!
I hope this sheds your clothes much easier.
Warm01
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paint4life
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Posted - 08/05/2003 : 1:47:26 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by nature_r_us
I am 27, and fell in love with a girl [who] turned [out] to be nudist! (Didn't know or show sorry!)
"Nudist," to my wife and I, is just shorthand for "we like to recreate in the outdoors with no clothes on." It is no more a lifestyle (to us) than it is a lifestyle for someone to choose to wear a thong or long shorts.
We don't go do nude runs and nude activities, but would likely feel fine doing so. We simply go to a nude beach once in a while, and we really enjoy it. Swimming nude beats the heck out of swimming clothed. It's not about sex, but it is about the senses.
So, in that sense we're nudists. But really, we just like being nude outdoors when we can, and wish we could more often, but social surroundings prevent it.
There are other nudists that make it more of a lifestyle... nude in the house all the time, nude in the backyard, etc. You need to have an understanding of what "level" of nudist she is. Is she just someone who likes to be nude in the sun? That pleases her senses, and makes her happier... why would you want to discourage that?
Or do you feel she is more of a "hey look at me!" attention-getting exhibitionist. You should know the difference, and come to a decision point at what you'll have/accept in your own life. There's no reason either of you should be significantly uncomfortable with the other's choices and "just have to live with it."
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I am not nudist. I want to marry her. Should I be nudist 1st to marry her OR should I ask her to quit it?
Well, those aren't the only two choices. I mean this kindly: you're thinking very narrow-mindedly.
You won't have a happy marriage with anyone if you can't accept them the way they are. Marriage is a long series of finding things new about your partner. If you don't go into it with an accepting heart, you're doomed anyway. That she likes to be nude outside should be among the least of your worries.
Don't make the mistake of assuming that a willingness to be nude in front of other people has any connection to her sexuality or faithfulness. As someone else already put it, she'll likely get hit on anywhere and if you and she don't each have your healthy ways of dealing with that already in your minds, you'd better hold off on marriage anyway.
quote:
If she does not quit, how can I trust her when she goes alone (in case I did not accept to be a nudist) but still we decide to stay together?
If you have already asked her this, then you already know how hurtful such a question is. No doubt she was astonished at your lack of trust. And nothing destroys a relationship like a lack of trust -- second only to breaking that trust. You presume too much. You need to get to know her more if you're thinking of marriage.
By the way, I have never been to a nudist beach where everyone is nude. There are always clothed partners sitting next to nude partners. And it goes either way for either sex. You don't have to be a nudist. Trade off with her. Take her to a clothed beach, then next time go with her to a nude beach. You don't have to take your clothes off. No once cares.
Just sit and enjoy your girlfriend's nudity, and those around you.
It's okay to look.
Enjoy the sun, the weather.
And most importantly be aware of how soon the nudity around you becomes almost invisible. Yo
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Edited by - paint4life on 08/05/2003 5:43:20 PM |
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calmnude
Forum Member
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Posted - 09/01/2003 : 09:12:11 AM
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nbg1, agree with you but over the years have found women who balk at social nudism, even after reading the brochures, seeing the aanr videos.
im up front about it. if this is to be an ltr nudism is an integral part.
and u find out about this early, instead of after investing lots of time and effort.
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Kimberly
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Posted - 09/14/2003 : 04:23:36 AM
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After my husband and I were married, he wanted to visit a nudist club. I told him there was no way I was going to take my clothes off in public. I finally agreed to accompany my husband to a club, he could get nude but I wasn't. When we got to the club, my husband was out of his clothes immediately, and enjoying himself. My preconceived notions were that I was too fat, my breasts were too small, and that people would stare. I noticed there were no hollywood models there, and everyone was relaxed and having a good time. I decided to take the plunge, and to my surprize I enjoyed it. I loved the freedom of being nude, and good the sunshine and air felt on my body. I think nudists are the friendliest people....nothing to hide. I have been an avid nudest ever since.
Kim =^.^=
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irishred
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Posted - 09/14/2003 : 07:39:40 AM
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Kimberly, I had the same type of "preconceived notion" the first time I went to the nude beach. A bit of self consciousness. But it was readily apparent that everyone was comfortable being nude and just acting natural as if they were clothed. Plus, it was nice to see people of all ages, sizes, and shapes on the beach--they were not all hollywood models or studs with "six pack" abs. 
Red
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Kimberly
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Posted - 09/14/2003 : 11:43:29 PM
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I agree with you Irishred, its our pre-conceived notions. I think it is a carry over from our past. I know as a woman I have always ben worried as to what I would wear, would I look nice. would I be in style with everyone else. I really enjoy the freedom to be nude and enjoy not having to be someone that I am not.
Kim =^.^=
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jessie
New Member
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Posted - 09/24/2003 : 12:54:36 AM
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well i will add a little something i have been amrried almost 8 yrs and my husband knew i was a nudist and grew up on resorts and even came and visted me at my parents hame and the water wasn't working so he went a showeredat night w me at the resort shower he never liked it and probally never will i have not gone back since then but am thinking abt it and found a guy frien to go with purefriends husband said u want to go then go but just not with me. so just no you might not kie it but u better be prepared for comprise
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nudedan
New Member
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Posted - 09/24/2003 : 08:46:19 AM
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What are you talking about. Who cares if she is a nudist and you are not. Does she go to work naked and the pub and shopping naked?
Are you completely stupid?
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Cheri
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Posted - 09/24/2003 : 09:09:28 AM
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nudedan, when you're in a relationship, you enjoy having that person with you. If she were to accompany him to nudist venues, he would enjoy the relaxation a bit more. Granted, nudism is not for everyone, but until people experience it for themselves, they've no way to really understand. If significant others are adamant about not giving it a shot, what other issues will not be compromised on?! The only thing that can be done, is to be patient and caring and that maybe in time, she'll come around.
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Kimberly
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Posted - 09/28/2003 : 04:53:40 AM
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Well said Cheri, there are two people in a relationship, and sometimes you have to comprimise. I do not always like going to car shows, and my husband hates shopping, but we do things together, we are a couple.
Kim =^.^=
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Warm01
Forum Member
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 Posted - 10/09/2003 : 12:17:53 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by 10er
One of the biggest mistakes that I made early in our marriage was to let my wife know that I was a nudist at heart and wanter her to accompany me to a nudist resort. It has been a subjct not to be discussed. Yet, we do enjoy being nude at home.
I've been to a nudist camp only once and regret that my wife and I don't share the sense of freedom and lack of stress that social nudism can bring.
Don't worry. If she's truly a nudist, she isn't doing it to hurt you. Respect her lifestyle choices, just as you would expect her to respect yours. Join her. It might surprise you how much you'll have in common with others once you can't make judgements about them based on what they're wearing.
Your relationship deserves it.
well 10er:
why does that exact comment not work for u ? Why can your wife feel free to roam around the house nude but if she is at a resort with others that are nude she cant .
May i make a few surgestions
1 try couples counseling for both of u and discuss it with a professinal who specializes in couple realationship work . DONT JUST GO TO ANY COUNSELING make sure the person specializes in couples
2 take your wife to a small resort that is nude so she can maybe let loose alittle bit
like in ST Marten club Orient or go some where that is is partial nude like hedo II in Jamaica .
They have a nude side and prude side and i have been there several times and think that might help your wife shed some clothes (LOL)
I hope it works for u and helps
see u nudding (LOL)
Warm01
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 10/09/2003 : 1:06:36 PM
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Warm01, you DON'T want Hedonism II in Jamaica, it's more "adult" than relaxing.
Regards, Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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nudist girl friend (marriage issue)
