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HarborGuy
Forum Member
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 Posted - 01/22/2005 : 10:44:30 PM
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I, of course, believe that the behavior of a man with an erection is very important and he should not be allowed to act inapproiately. I believe he should take action to eliminate the condition.
The point i'm trying to make is not that it's something that should need to be "taken care of", but that it's something that just happens to be there. Ignore it if it bothers you and enjoy the beach if that's where you are.
Maybe you could have the guy stand over you to block the sun if you don't have sunglasses. but don't be offended by it.
I just don't understand how someone could call themselves naturists and be offended by something that is in the true meaning of the word natural. Perhaps if something so small (well not that small) offends you then you should not be at a nude beach, but shopping at Macy's for a new summer swim suit.
An erection can be a reaction, but it's not an action. It's just a thing, a noun. Not a verb. I don't have a dictionary near me at the moment, but I'm sure it's not a verb.
Notice: This moderator, operating under username 'Moderator', has been terminated for repeatedly censoring or altering posts without providing a clear indication of which policy was being enforced. Her actions were not sanctioned by this organization.
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Edited by - Moderator on 01/23/2005 11:46:51 AM |
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viceversa
New Member
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Posted - 01/24/2005 : 4:11:00 PM
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I'd like to offer what may be a different perspective on all of this (and I do so out of respect - this forum really *does* seem to be a safe and respectful haven!)
Seems to me there is a conflation of behavior with biology in one sense: getting an erection in and of itself is not the same as doing something with it - biology on the one hand, behavior on the other.
I am a casual nudist - I don't do well in the organized settings. For me, there has always been an element of sensuousness that is part of my nudity and my enjoyment of it, and I've shared that with others.
For that reason, I don't gravitate toward any venue that has kids (I have my own, thanks). For me, personally, this is a "line in the sand". I respect others who can combine it all, but I do not.
I also deeply respect the need *for* respect and in particular the avoidance of a fearful climate. I can see how that could happen. But I also have to say that in general, one does have choices as to where to go to share nudity, and some of those choices can, quite obviously, provide opportunities to be fearful, esp. in regards to males with obvious erections.
So for me, "etiquette" is context-bound by definition. That is, I may wind up in some places where others are very concerned over erections, other places, not so. I choose to avoid the former - I do not fear or judge others' on this basis. I enjoy the sensuous nature and quiet depth of a shared eros that is consensual, respectful, and accepted without imposing one person on another.
The other perspective I bring is that of my own experiences in sex-positive spaces, and how very odd it seems in mudism and naturism to find such deeply rooted concerns over whether or not a perceived violation (getting an erection) is synonymous with misbehavior. I certainly CAN agree that such breeches do happen - sadly. And that, for those partaking of any activity, should they find it out of bounds, it should be their right to deal with any interlopers. I do not share or like at all some of the really extreme responses I have seen elsewhere (I did see one poster at a different board state that he would "cut off any boner he saw"! That seems extreme)
But I have to say that one of the things that happens in sex-positive spaces is an abiding respect for mutual respect and boundaries. This, in many cases, is *precisely* what it is all about - respect for boundaries. And it is upheld. I've never experienced any violation of this in an egregious fashion. True, miscommunication happens, but I've witnessed those events being gently renegotiated and resolved. There is no appearence or intent of violators being banned.
So it appears to my eyes that in some contexts, the excessive concern w/ erections may just be that - justified perhaps, by fear, but one must wonder - justified by action, by *behavior*? The many postings here and in other places suggest that not only are erections at nude spaces uncommon, but there is not any report of out-of-control behavior *in those moderated settings*.
Just my .02 as a new member. And a big thanks to all for a respectful open exchange of views.
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Patán
New Member
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Posted - 02/16/2005 : 9:43:28 PM
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Hello, first of all, SORRY FOR MY HORRIBLE ENGLISH
I.m aware that this discussion is pretty boring by this time, but i need to show my case
I only practiced nudism three time, because there is no avaible sites in my country unless you are a multi-millonaire, so i can be considered a "newby", but i definilty has a problem with erections. A guy in other topic post a similar situation and said that he has a medical problem....I ALSOo had erections for no reason.....these erections do not endure too much time, in fact, but they can come pretty often........So this situation is much more common for me in beachs (no-nude), for example, i can think that the proximity of females in swinswits ha something to do with that.....the tree times i practiced nudims i suffered this very very often......only one of that times was a "public" reunion (a club with many people i did not know)...the reaction those times was indeference or laugh, althrough i was somewath ashamed...i.m not a rapist or a pervert i never did or even going to do nothing that is not worth of a gentleman, but i cannot control this.......i´m somewhat disturbed by the fact that some people can be offended by erections.....as it is not a feature of being nude for myself (i suffered the same i normal beachs, as i say, for example, but wearing shorts nobody notices it) i don´t thinkl that it can be resolved with more "nudism practice"...i insit that i never, NEVER do nothing that can disturb any people, but this is not controllable........if i had to cover me EVRY time it happens, i must to be covered all the time, becouse it happens VERY often.....
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JimmyNood
New Member
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Posted - 03/01/2005 : 07:42:55 AM
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The issue of erections in social nude settings can easily be discreetly resolved with a little ingenuity and sometimes light humor. At my age I don't experience them unexpectedly as much as I might have 20-30 years ago, obviously, but there are days when it occurs.
The one constant "friend" you have at any nudist camp is your towel. You're required to have one available to place on common pool furniture so it's always within reach. Generally I can go nude at our local nudist camp without incident, but there is one truly spectacular younger woman that I see and talk with there who I find unusually alluring even though she does nothing purposely to cause my reaction. I've been married 30 years and have no delusions about this "chemistry" being anything other than "in my head", but nonetheless, I do find myself with semi-erections when talking with her.
Fearing that it'll become an embarrassment to her and myself if I continue to sit there as the erection becomes more noticeable, I casually take my towel, hold it by one tip so the balance of the towel seemingly randomly falls into my lap, and I use the other end of the towel to "clean my glasses" vigorously as I continue to talk with her.
This is a fairly casual manner in which to cover the "offending area" until it "recedes" or she finishes the conversation and is sufficiently out of sight to allow my normal breathing to return!
I've done this perhaps as many as a dozen times over the past few years and she's only made one knowing remark that assures me she's aware of what I'm doing. Last summer she said with just a hint of a smirk, "You sure do seem to have a lot of problems with your glasses when I talk with you."
My response was, "Yes...apparently they keep fogging up when you are in range." We both laughed but nothing further has been said, and I feel certain she appreciates me trying to be respectful and discreet so she doesn't have to avoid me or be uncomfortable.
It's all a matter of trying to keep it a "non-issue" when it happens and respecting other people's space and feelings.
Jim
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bklyn
New Member
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Posted - 03/01/2005 : 12:12:39 PM
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I have just joined this thread... near the end I suppose.
I am interested in the subjects that have recently been elluded to regarding the degree of an erection.
Personally, last year was my first two visits to Lighthouse Beach and my first public nudity display.
I was quite excited about the whole experience and also quite nervous. While I never experienced a full erection, I was plagued by a quite regular fluctuation between various stages of semi-erectness.
I was still able to enjoy myself, but I was unaware that having a partial hard-on was offensive and was not concerned about it. I have been excited about the warm weather approaching, but now am rethinking if I belong in public as a young rarely-completly-flacid man.
I should also point out that this is quite normal for me. I have been married for 3 years and more often than not seem to experience at least a little slight stiffness.
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John12309
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Posted - 03/03/2005 : 7:43:29 PM
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I have to add 2cents.
A child has an erection, which is quite natural, and noone minds. We explain that it is a bodily function. An erection may be caused by the prostate anticipating the need for the bladder to urinate.
In my opinion, the matter of an erection is in the eye of the beholder and the beholdee. One may perceive an erection as erotic or as nature, and the erector may either be stimulated by a sensual message or a physical requirement.
The debate would require a lawyer, and a tip of the hand from a higher power.
Why not just let it go? Get over it. Erections happen. Would you chastize a newbie nudist for an erection? Give me a break.
If you see someone at a nudist facility with an erection, just put a circle around him and then let it go when the stiffie subsides. Geez. Louise.
Now the guy who gets a woodie EVERY time he's shorn, well, maybe he need a consultation.
Come on folks...get real.
JM
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papabare
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/04/2005 : 08:48:15 AM
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There is just something about some guy walkin around my kids with am erection that I don't like. I don't like it even more if he is someone new to camp, makes me think he came for other reasons then being free.
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I believe that children are our future; Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside; Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
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John12309
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/04/2005 : 6:48:45 PM
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I agree. Teach our children that erections are natural, and an essential bodily function that has a purpose. They do not last long in the overall scheme of things, and if the person sporting one is sincere, and well meaning, it will pass. All I am saying is that if you espouse nature, and all that is essentially human, then why do erections elicit such a negative response? Discretion may win out in this argument, but I do not condone making men feel neurotic over something they have little control over.
JM
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HarborGuy
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/05/2005 : 10:06:46 AM
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My partner and I have raised three children as nudists. They consist of our oldest son who is now 24 and he has a 4 year old boy himself. Our daughter is now 22 and has three kids of her own two boys and a girl (BTW the last boy was recently born to our family on the 22nd of Feb ). Lastly I have a son who is now 21 (No kids).
As you can imagine with males in the house erections happen, especially during puberty. Hell sometimes it was as if we were raising walking talking living flag poles and most especially in the early morning.
We raised the kids to freely talk to us about anything at all and they did, though as all kids do sometimes they kept secrets from us as was expected. Usually those secrets were whatever scoop they had on each other which they could use as leverage should they ever need it. (Blackmail was never tolerated) 99.9% of the time erections were totally ignored, however there was the occasional tease now and then and always taken in good hearted play and never as an insult.
We often took the kids to outings at nudist resorts and beaches where sometimes they did run across someone with an erection. They promptly ignored that person and moved on. They were told they did not have to interrupt their play, but to stay together as a group. They also knew that a nudist resort, beach or whatever always had responsible adults around whom they could go to or play near to protect them.
We made sure that whenever we checked into a resort that we asked the management which people worked there and on duty. They were always happy to take the children by the hand and point out who they could go to if there was ever an unwelcome advance. (Never once did they have to) I have always felt my children were safer at a nudist resort than a national park or public beach which we also frequented.
Off subject/On point
I remember one time in high school we were in English class and a boy (I don't remember his name) was called up to read before the class. He politely tried to excuse himself, but the teacher insisted. Knowing it was futile to argue he rose to his feet and went to the head of the class.
One would expect this boy to read with his book low to cover the true reason for his reluctance, but he didn't. He boldly held his book properly and read what he had to read. Instantly it became obvious to us why he refused to read up front.
Of course we kids giggled a little, but nobody not even the girls were offended. I can't speak for everyone, but I admired his bravery though I guess you could call it teenaged rebellion.
The point is I think being offended is much like shame. Shame is not natural, we are all taught shame and that's a shame. Just like we are all born geniuses, we are taught stupidity. Ignorance is fact yet to be learned.
Point
Had the teacher seen what we students saw as the reason for his reluctance, what do you think she would have done? Would she have Freaked out and embarras the boy further? Thus teaching shame to him and offensiveness to us, or would she have excused the boy and not make a point of his indiscressions? What would you have done as the teacher? That's a hard question to answer, isn't it?
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/05/2005 : 11:53:19 AM
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A textile comparison with a nudist incident is like comparing apples and oranges. We can all agree to disagree. However, in polite society, we do what is important to us or you can act as the inconsiderate.
Regards, Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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John12309
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/07/2005 : 7:12:14 PM
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I agree. Apples and oranges are different fruits, that grow on trees, that both taste sweet, and have about the same organic content which has the potential to equally satisfy the human concept of hunger in the aggregate. It has recently been scientifically proven that men and women are different. Apples and oranges, as it were.
The term 'act' as you imply, would infer that any male having an erection is consciously aware of it, and physically able to control it. Bodily functions are not within our control. Psychological triggers can be genetic or patterned. Outside of impulsive behavior, can you stop your heart from beating, or your hair from falling out, or your toenails from growing?
I am leaving this topic as it has begun to offend my polite sensitivities and is beginning to give me an erection.
JM
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huw_puw
New Member
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Posted - 03/22/2005 : 07:58:15 AM
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I've always felt it very unfair that women can get as aroused as they like when naked in public but I have to "keep it down". After all it is an entirely natural reaction. I have been on beaches where erections are completely tolerated - and I took adavtage of this. At other, more formal, locations there have been difficult moments, and not always entirely associated sexual arousal. For instance when queuing next to chiller cabinets in nudist shops the cold air can have a disconcerting effect!
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Ashley
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/22/2005 : 11:33:49 AM
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Unfair? There are many examples of that between the sexes...such as I've always thought it slightly unfair that the act of "conception" causes the female 9 months of relative discomfort..but these things were designed by God for a reason.
As for the fact that "women can get as aroused as they like when naked in public but (men) have to keep it down".... I do believe that the physical change in a woman becoming aroused is far less intimidating or offensive as the male. Maybe it's just psychological...or maybe it's the fact that there is no known case of rape involving a woman's nipple...
Ash
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/22/2005 : 12:08:45 PM
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Right-on, Ash! Additionally, women's nipples can get arroused with cold. Breasts are not genitalia.
Hugs, Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Ashley
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/22/2005 : 4:30:02 PM
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Huw Puw: Some people have enough sense to let a sleeping dog lie, but I lose sleep over unanswered questions..so here goes:
Would you please explain what you meant by the statement in your posting above when you said: "I have been on beaches where erections are completely tolerated ---and I took advantage of this."
Since you're from the UK I assume there must be a very slight language nuance at play here...so it might help us if that one sentence were clarified.
However, if the answer isn't appropriate for the forum, please ignore this.
Thanks!
Ash
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A simple question? Arousal and etiquette...
