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 Nudist Men - From the Male Point of View
 Unwanted Erection
 A simple question? Arousal and etiquette...
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Author Previous Topic: So I was thinking about becomming a nudist Topic Next Topic: My questions & problems wanting to be a nudist
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Warmskin
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Posted - 10/28/2008 :  4:37:38 PM  Show Profile  Send Warmskin a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
vlaka72,


When you go to a nudist resort, pretend you and everyone else has their clothes on. Would that make you change your mind about using some manners? If so, then you would do well to assume that nudists deserve the same politeness you would use at a completely ordinary social setting.

Where you can expect no judgment would be related to your body, it's shape, color, etc. No one will be the least bit postively interested in your passed gas, or other disgestive processes. Nudist resorts is on par for a clothed social setting attended by polite people.

Perhaps you and some friends who are digestively adventurous could go to a nude beach, and claim a space near the end of the beach. There you would have a better chance to have it your way. Maybe other people will join in, and that way, you'd meet new friends. I don't want you to go without enjoyment; we all need that, but there are places for everything that is not harmful to others. It just seems that a nudist facility is not the best venue for you.

That government governs best, which governs least - Thomas Jefferson



Edited by - Warmskin on 10/28/2008 4:41:58 PM

Country: USA | Posts: 1964 Go to Top of Page

Ronps
Forum Member


Posted - 04/10/2009 :  10:28:10 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Let's see if I am getting this...if I get an erection while nude, I need to be embarrassed for a normal male reaction...interesting.


Country: USA | Posts: 24 Go to Top of Page

mikemail2anthony
New Member

Posted - 06/27/2009 :  8:38:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
i have never been much more than a casual nudist, often in the springtime (nice to have a decent tan). since i am currently married to a traditional woman who doesn't feel comfortable in nudist or clothing optional places, so i don't regularly visit nudist or clothing optional facilities anymore. i am a truck driver, so i occasionally will make one or two visits a year, when i find myself layed over near a clothing optional or nudist facility.

i was first exposed to nudism almost 30 years ago, by an avid nudist that i was dating. at the time, i was a young man in the military. admittedly, i only became involved in nudism because i was sexually interested in her (i had to go to the nudist and clothing optional places with her to maintain our sexual relationship) i had erections constantly, while at her home, or at clothing optional places.

she gave me the best ground rules that she could, as well as a basic rule of thumb.

she said i should look at nude people as if they were clothed, and that i should treat them similarly. she said that, in turn, i should conduct myself as if i were clothed. it was not okay, however, if i looked at them as if i were looking at pornography.

when in doubt as to my behavior, or the behavior of those around me, she said that i should ask myself if it would be the same if we clothed. if my behavior was not the same, then i needed to change my behavior. if the other peoples' behavior was not, then i should be wary of them, or steer clear of those individuals.

as to the subject of perverts and so forth, she told me that there were people who will act like degenerates, whether or not there was nudity involved, and that there were others who (even worse) would only think as a degenerate and be normally try to be more discreet in their behavior.

she told me that it was perfectly okay for me to see people for their beauty and sexuality if i found them attractive, and that it was also perfectly okay if i had erections (which, at first, was nearly constantly).

she said that most true nudists wouldn't care if a man becomes aroused, as long as he doesn't behave any differently than a clothed man would behave in a traditional setting, and isn't obviously using the nudist surroundings as his or her own personal real-life pornography.

knowing that i am strongly opposed to homosexuality, she asked me how i would feel if i were walking around naked in a gay bar, and was being ogled by various homosexual men. i told her that i would be uncomfortable. she then said that women walking about unclothed at a nudist facility would feel the same way towards people who were using the clothing optional place as an excuse to gawk at nude women. that made an impact on me.

even worse, there are perverts and pedophiles who see clothing optional facilities differently. needless to say, that's especially not good for nudist families who are trying to bring up their children in the nudist culture.

she said that most nudists enjoyed being at nudist places, more than clothing optional places, because they didn't have to consider those things.

although it's obvious to a nudist, i had to remind myself from time to time that when a woman disrobes in a clothing optional location, it is doesn't mean the same thing as if she were disrobing for me in my bedroom.

personally, i have always been a very sexually active person, and (when i was single) was attracted to nearly every available woman i've ever met, but i have never hit on women simply because they were nude. now, being faithfully married, i will never flirt with (or otherwise hit on) anybody at all, other than my wife (clothed, or not).

that doesn't mean that i might not get sexually aroused. it generally happens several times a day, regardless of clothing. i can't avoid what naturally happens when it occurs. but if i see that someone might be uncomfortable with it, i feel that it would be inconsiderate of me not to minimize or reduce my impact by turning around, covering up, or removing myself from their view. it's basic courtesy.

-m



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racer42
New Member

Posted - 04/07/2010 :  4:50:38 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
As a new member of this forum, I think I love it most of all because of the thoughtful, respectful way in which contributors with often highly diverse opinions present their points of view without acrimony. It's too bad we don't see that respect and consideration in all the communities in which we interact.

Anyway, sorry for the sidetrack. Here's something I'd like to throw out for your thoughts. Many folks are of the opinion that, when a nude male experiences an involuntary erection, the best way to avoid embarrassment or discomfort on everyone's part is for him to (1) sit down and cover himself with a towel, (2) go into the water, or (3) lay on his stomach. End of exposed erection, hence end of issue.

However, suppose that the same guy were engaged in a social activity, such as playing shuffleboard or volleyball, when he experiences that involuntary erection. If he is to choose one of the three options noted above, he would immediately have to excuse himself, and perhaps state that he hopes to return in a short while. The reason for this need would be very evident to everyone engaged in the activity which, by the way, may have to be suspended altogether until his possible return. Thus, in excusing himself, he would likely become even more embarrassed by calling everyone's attention to the fact that he has an erection and needs to follow the accepted protocol.

Doesn't it make more sense for him to ignore the involuntary erection, take it in stride, and continue with the activity? It seems to me that, if he were to follow the accepted protocol, he'd just be embarrassing himself as well as his companions, by calling even more attention to his condition.

Respectfully,

racer42



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Safebare
Forum Member


Posted - 04/08/2010 :  12:07:06 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
We could 'what if' many scenarios and still not get anywhere beyond what has already been stated. There are many more options than the (3) cited.

Discretion is the answer in all situations. Actively engaging in a sport is usually enough to avoid the situation. It is more about not flaunting than about hiding. If it is your turn to scoot a disk or fling a ball and you need a moment to collect yourself, just say so.
Anyway, my 2 cents,

Safebare

"Wearing nothing is devine, naked is a state of mind."



Country: USA | Posts: 105 Go to Top of Page

nakmos
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Posted - 09/11/2010 :  4:11:36 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The no-erection thought police is exactly what turned me off from current nudist resorts. I was threatened more than once with being kicked out because I had the temerity of finding other people attractive. No touching, no approaching, no flaunting - just semi-erect. I'm sorry, but I get hard when I'm attracted to others, and if someone is trying to command my thoughts, then it's un-hyperbolically Orwellian and I'll have none of it.

I have to go to more BDSM-oriented outdoor events to not worry about having a public erection, and I don't even like BDSM. Nevertheless, I try to understand the BDSM people and their fetishes just as they understood me and my freedom to think what I will in their midst. It's amazing what kind of bridges are built when basic human acceptance is the norm.

There's an unspoken understanding in our stubbornly patriarchal society that the male erection connotates desire within the context of expected aggression and dominance. So many have bought into this idea (and indeed, many stupid men have long made it a reality) that it's taken as fact.

Predictably a fringe element of society (BDSMers) knew better than to buy into this hegemony. For them, even in nonsexual settings, erections aren't good or bad - they just happen. Perhaps the rest of us will catch up. Some resorts are more progressive than others, and eventually those microcultures will wonder what the big fuss about erections was about. That gives me hope.



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Eriedipper
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Posted - 09/12/2010 :  07:38:31 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I think Cheri answered this question very well early on in this post.

Another way to put it might be....

Erections in a nude environment can be a normal function.... but.... it is what you do with it afterwards that determines your intent?

Exhibitionist.... etc?



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nudesunguy
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Posted - 09/12/2010 :  10:16:28 AM  Show Profile  Send nudesunguy a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
I discovered at a nude dance one evening that there is a 4th way to make an erection go away: as a hetero male, force yourself to stare at other nude guys. Problem solved!




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barefootguyinco
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Posted - 09/13/2010 :  12:42:30 AM  Show Profile  Visit barefootguyinco's Homepage  Send barefootguyinco a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
Racer42, I agree that ignoring it and going about your activity makes more sense as long as you don't flaunt it. I personally think a few people are to worried about seeing an erection and make too big of a deal of it. If the guy doesn't flaunt it and it goes away relatively soon it should be no big deal, no pun intended.

Body shame, like prejuduce, is not natural. It is learned from others and benefits no one.



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blavan
Forum Member

Posted - 09/17/2010 :  3:46:11 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I have been a nudist long enough to know that sometimes men get erections when nude around naked women because it is natural. When my lady and I are at nudist resorts or at a beach I get aroused sometimes, and she knows that. It has never been a problem for her or for me. She knows we are there to enjoy good clean nudist fun, and nothing else. An erection can also be the result of stimulous from an attractive clothed or nude woman, or from just a breeze that is sensuous and stimulating. It is nothing to be embarrassed about.
For me, everytime we visit any resort, as soon as we arrive I typically will have an erection becuse the novelty of arriving and undressing never completely goes away because it feels so good to finally undress after being in clothing for the trip there. My wife has kidded me about it because she has grown to expect it.
It is always the responsibility of every civil naturist or nudist man to be respectful, and not "point" an erection at any woman, or make her feel uncomfortable in any way. My wife and other nude women have seen my erection and have not been offended because my behavior has always been appropriate.
Guys, we can be human, have a very normal erection, and still behave as though it is not a big deal because it isn't. To be honest we men must admit that it is enjoyable to see an attractive nude woman. Women know that. They are not offended unless a man stares or causes them to be uncomfortable by acting like a jerk. Most of us who have been nudists for at least several years also know that erections do not just happen so often as to be a concern anyway. Be nude, be real, have fun, and enjoy everything that being socially nude has to offer.

Being Naked and Being Real



Edited by - blavan on 12/24/2010 10:10:56 AM

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NudistPirate
New Member

Posted - 11/01/2010 :  04:38:58 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Wow. Just, wow. I've been curious about nudism for a while now, because nudity is much more comfortable to me. Would have been nice to live in a community where nudity was accepted, but after reading this thread I can safely say I'll never bother; it sounds as if a nudist society is no different or more accepting than regular society. They're merely less clothed.

Despite that, I'd like to thank you all for a hilarious read. Seeing people childishly pick apart each others posts, ignoring posts they can't debate, or deflecting things with horrendous analogies. And the name calling! Time and time again I saw people putting words in others' mouths. Or, text in others' posts. :P Should we not debate this respectfully, instead of mocking ourselves through such tactics?

My opinion is moot as far as "pro" or "anti"-erection goes, as I've never been among nudists. But as a random bystander, I must ask you; Is it not tragic that the "pro-boner" crowd as a whole is showing a higher level of maturity than those who cry foul at male erections?

That said, I encourage the less mature users of this thread to respond to my post using any or all of the tactics listed in paragraph two.



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luke426
New Member

Posted - 12/24/2010 :  05:52:17 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am not a nudist but have been curious about it. Never been to a nudist camp and probably never will because I would be afraid of getting an erection and being forced to hide it.

Pete Knight, I understand that you obviously are not in favor of "pro-boners" (that really does sound immature) but why do you have to be so rude about it? We are all human beings here so why can't we act like it and have some respect for each other? Disagree or agree with the topic, I don't really care but please be kind and respectful about it.

Also there are plenty of signs that someone is acting like a pervert other than whether or not he has an erection

Merry Christmas to all.



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blavan
Forum Member

Posted - 12/24/2010 :  12:11:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
It is obvious to those of us with years of socially nude experience that some of the neophytes posting comments on this topic have no idea about what or about whom they are being critical of. This site can help to inform you.

Nudism is really a very enjoyable lifestyle. Fear prevents many people from experiencing it.
Erections at nudist venues are hardly ever an issue. Erections are a naturally occurring physiological reality. They happen, and they go away without much if any attention being paid to them.
As we view some of these posted comments it is apparent that some of the men who have not yet experienced social nudism have a major fear of having uncontrollable erections. Since attitudes and intentions vary, it could be that the fear expressed by some of these men might be because they intend to go to a nudist venue simply to stare at naked women. It could also be that some men are more prone to erections than others. With experience and when attitudes and intentions become more nudism pure, your erection fear will fall away.
Anyone booted from a nudist resort will be kicked out due to their behavior, and not due to an erection or because they are single. One purpose of this site again is to inform.

Any man can discover how wonderful nudism is by visiting a nudist resort. Getting a lady to go with you might be easier than you expect. There is that fear thing again. If you are afraid to ask, then her answer will be no. Women do not want to be with someone who is afaid. Ask the most beautiful and attractive lady you know to visit a nudist resort or beach with you. They are the ones that get asked out the least often because too many men are afriad to ask them.
Nudism is like any other part of life. Fear from within prevents us from enjoying that which is among the most beautiful opportunities in life.

Simplify this whole issue, and have it become a non-issue by simply getting naked at a nudist resort or a sanctioned clothing-optional beach, and enjoying another beautiful opportunity.

Being Naked and Being Real



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luke426
New Member

Posted - 12/24/2010 :  1:14:46 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I just found this by searching for nudism etiquette:

Nudist Beach Etiquette
A Guide to Nudist Beach Behavior

By Betsy Malloy, About.com Guide
See More About:

* california nude beaches
* clothing optional california

If you've never been to a nudist beach before, here are a few guidelines:

* Gawking is impolite. If you want to go to the nudist beach for a thrill, do everyone a favor and buy a magazine instead.

* Ask for people's consent before taking their photograph nude.

* If you're sunbathing nude in a secluded area, leave a bathing suit on a rock to let others know they are approaching an unclothed person. If you're uncomfortable having your suit out of reach, bring a spare.

* On a wide open beach, position yourself in the open so you can see people coming and put something on before they get there if you need to.

* Get dressed before you leave the nudist beach.

* Be friendly, but respect others' rights to privacy.

* Avoid sexual activity. It's illegal and offensive.

* Advances of an unwelcome or unwanted nature are not acceptable anywhere, and especially at a nudist beach.

* Be Prepared. Sometimes, the nudist beach doesn't have any amenities. Bring water, food, towel, sunscreen and anything else you need.

* Keep the nudist beach clean. If you carried it in, carry it back out.

* Know what the law is.


I don't see anything about erections here.



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actricalian
New Member


Posted - 10/02/2011 :  11:46:26 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by melissastarr

I now have some experience in this area of life and have a lot to say on the matter. As a single woman, seeing a man get an erection can be very scary. In polite society we cover up, as an erection is sometimes a sign of aggression. In my case, the man was probably not going to become aggressive but it TERRIFIED me to see it. Covering up would have gone a long way in making me feel safe.

Melissa

Terrified? Really? Here's something even more scary -- clothed men have erections, too. It happens a lot. And you'll never even know about it, either!!

The problem here is that you need to address your irrational fear, not that I need to cover up in the event that I should have an erection. Hard-ons happen. It's part of having a penis. And you should be ever so thankful that we do have them, since your sex life would be a whole lot more boring without them. And, just like we tell the clothed public, if you don't like it, don't look at it. I enjoy this sort of thing because it is liberating and unencumbered by the stuffy rules of society. I have enough busybodies telling me what I can and can't do in the clothed world. Why would I choose to spend my free time with another set of busybodies who tell me I can't even have a random erection because it might offend them?? And you wonder why this lifestyle is dying ...

Anyway, what if I said I was terrified by random sexually-aroused women? It's no more rational than your "terror" over random sexually-aroused men. What if I insisted that you cover your erect nipples and swollen, moist labia to make me feel safer? Wait ... it's almost impossible to tell what's going on with a woman unless you're right there next to the action. Hmm -- well I guess you'd just better cover those areas up all the time. It would make me feel a lot safer, and my irrational, unjustifiable feelings are what count, after all.

It's a shame that signs of female arousal aren't nearly as obvious. Maybe then people could act a little more mature on the subject. Maybe ...



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