| Author |
 Topic  |
|
beatrice
New Member
|
 Posted - 10/21/2009 : 4:14:16 PM
|
Hi, this is my first post.
My name is Beatrice and I remarried about a year ago. My girls adore their stepfather. He's everything I was looking for in a husband. Hes been a lifestyle nudist for most of his life, he was raised in a nudist home so you can imagine he isn't very comfortable wearing his business suit everyday to work lol.
Well anyways, about a year before we married I started sharing in his lifestyle and I regret that I didn't do it sooner. I used to be really self conscious about my body but now I feel so much more confident. I'm getting sidetracked lol. Heres my problem. For the last two years me and my husband have gone on vacation to a nudist resort about three hours away and we stay for almost a week. Its always the most amazing and relaxing time. But this year, since we're all technically a family now, I wanted to take my girls with us. This is a FAMILY RESORT. Yes its nudist but both times I've been there are lots and lots of children and nobody is staring or being pervy. There will be plenty of other kids my own daughters age there and I'm sure they'll have a blast. My girls are 7 and 12.
So anyway. They know that my husband and I are nudists and a while ago my youngest expressed an interest in it, so we let her go 'the lifestyle' in the house. She's like a little guppy lol. She loves it. My oldest was a little more shy and it took her a little longer, but now she rarely goes clothed around our house too. My husband out of respect for the girls father, doesn't go nude around the house but I do.
So we want to take the girls on vacation with us this year, and they want to go as well (we just couldn't keep the idea to ourselves lol) The problem is the girls father, my ex.
Hes not of the lifestyle and he, as far as I know, doesn't know that the girls go nude when they are with me. (I am the custodial parent). I'm sure he will not approve or agree with us taking the girls to this family resort, which just happens to be nude. He is like the average person, thinks that nudity means something sexual. I can't blame him because that is exactly what i thought until my husband introduced me to the lifestyle.
So yah, I'm sure he will flip if I ask him for his permission to take our girls. I guess I can understand where he is coming from, he doesn't want anyone seeing his girls like that! lol. I just wish that i could make him understand its not about THAT. (if you understand what THAT is) Also, I'm afraid he is going to flip when he realizes that since the girls have been in the lifestyle that my husband has seen them naked. Again he'll thnk its sexual and he'll think my husband is some sort of pedo. My ex is already very jealous and threatened of my husbands good relationship with my daughters.
I guess whati need are ideas for ways to go about asking and getting my ex's approval for our vacation.
|
Country:
| Posts: 4 |
|
|
steady78
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/21/2009 : 6:27:15 PM
|
Wow beatrice, that's a tough one. That's smart and noble of your new husband to stay clothed around the girls for now, there are so many ways legally for your EX to take advantage of that.
In western canada kids, once they can prove to a judge that they are capable of making their own decisions, decide which parent they will live with. but in your situation your ex may be able to convince a narrow minded judge that the nudity is somehow a bad aptmosphere for the girls to be in and be able to take them away from you.
Sorry to say this but you might have to wait till the girls are a little older to have them in this enviroment.
Too bad though cause as many have said on this site kids who grow up in a naturist home have much better self esteem etc...
|
|
Country: Canada
| Posts: 141 |
 |
|
|
beatrice
New Member
|
Posted - 10/21/2009 : 8:53:46 PM
|
I think you are probably right. Thing is, my ex is actually a pretty open-minded kind of guy, except where his daughters are concerned! lol. I'm sure he'd be all open to nudity if he got some awesomely hot gf who was into it. You know? I was thinking, since our vacation is still a while away anyways, if I could slowly introduce him into the lifestyle, or at least let him be around it enough so that he learns its not a sexual, deviant kind of thing. He kind of already knows that me and my husband are into it, he probably doesn't realize just HOW into it, but I was thinking about inviting him over while the girls are at their grandparents and letting him be nude with us, have dinner or something causual. And after we do this afew times, and hes become more comfortable and knowledgable about it, then have him over while the girls are there. That would be the real test because if he can be around his own daughters while he's nude and they're nude, and have a nice pleasant night together, than I don't see a reason why he'd object. Thats kinda all I got so far as plans go. What do you think?
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 4 |
|
|
|
naken
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/22/2009 : 12:11:24 AM
|
I would not tell the x anything ,if your girls understand the situation an want to go ,then go .If the x finds out the girls can say we had a fun time,would you like to go with us.if your x values his relationship with his kids an does not want to alienate them he will get over it.Going to court would be a serious mistake on his part,an any case would have to show nudists are pervs or diviats,your current husband is very smart an should continue not being nude at home around the girls,this shows credibility an honest concern an proper motivation on his part keepit up. Naken
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 38 |
|
|
|
Nudony
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/22/2009 : 6:09:39 PM
|
Your ex is that laid back?! So much so that you could envision him saying "yes" to a nude evening with both you and your current husband? I've remained in very good terms with my ex (who is not remarried); and we were once active nudists with our daughter. Yet, I would be taken aback if she suddenly invited me to come over and socialize nude with a new significant other. And to be honest, I'm not sure I would do it even after careful consideration.
On the other hand, if she called me announcing she wanted to go to the resort with our daughter and her S/O, but also wanted me to come so that "everyone gets to learn to be comfortable nude around one another", I'd be more partial to giving it a shot. I'd be mostly doing it for our daughter, so that she can continue enjoying the benefits of nudism even if it's going to be with her stepdad. And to be quite honest, I would be carefully monitoring the stepdad's reaction to my girl's nudity - and vice-versa, as well as how they interact around each other when nude. If I see that they interact very well, I would give my consent for them to continue socializing nude.
But your ex is not a nudist. Which means before even bringing up the possibility of a nudist get-together, you will have to openly discuss it with him. First, tell him about your idea of a nudist way of life, and what your goals are. Then tell him that you would really appreciate him accompanying you guys to a resort, even if he does not go nude himself, so that he can judge for himself how comfortable he is with his kids being nude in a nudist environment. The issue with the dinner idea you're proposing is that it will do very little to alleviate his concerns about his kids being socially nude - which is really what this is all about - not getting him to go nude with you and your current partner.
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 505 |
|
|
|
Diger
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/22/2009 : 7:51:40 PM
|
In my experience with helping someone, the key is just to listen and they will work it out themself. Beatrice you know your X better than we do and much more about what will or will not work. Trust your heart and do what it's telling you.
Let us know how it works out.
Diger
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 1385 |
|
|
|
beatrice
New Member
|
Posted - 10/22/2009 : 8:43:04 PM
|
thanks all of you for your advice! This has all been food for thought. My ex is a very open-minded kind of guy, otherwise I'd be way too cautious to even mention going to a nudist resort with my daughters lol. But you know, hes a dad, so no matter how open-minded he may be, when it comes to his little girls and nudism, he will probably get a little protective. I thought about having him come with us to a resort, just to see what its about. But the nearest one to us is a few hours away, its no small trip, and well....we wanna go their for our family vacation, kinda don't want the ex tagging along.
Though my ex and my husband have had fights and hard feelings in the past, and my ex does get a little threatened that his girls adore their stepfather so much, they both generally get along. I think intitally he would think my husband was some sort of perv, not so much for being a nudist but for introducing my daughters into it (well actually I was the one who introduced them into it but you know what i mean!) but once he would be able to observe nudism in a natural and casual setting, I know for sure he'd be open-minded enough to allow it. He just wants his girls to be happy,and since adopting the lifestyle they can't stand to wear clothes anywhere but school and the mall lol. Its been especially good for my oldest because of her age. She has gotten alot more confident about her body lately. I just need to find a way to show all of these positive results to my ex before he can make a snap judgement.
A talk before anything is definitely a great idea. Just to feel out what his opinions and preconceptions are about nudism.
And if he wasn't disgusted, no, having a dinner just the three of us isn't out of the question. The three of us have had dinners together before. The only difference is that we would be nude, lol.
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 4 |
|
|
|
Nudony
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/22/2009 : 9:21:42 PM
|
One last thing/food for thought. Since the "group nudist trip" seems to be out, here's the approach that was taken with my ex-MIL, who was very much ambivalent about the idea of her grand-daughter being nude with her parents. So she was invited for dinner one evening, and arrived a couple of hours early. I happened not to be nude myself as I was about to head out to work; but my wife and daughter were. She was able to witness first hand how nudity was natural in our household, and by the time I left she was sitting in the kitchen next to my nude wife, chatting quite leisurely. She stayed for awhile after dinner, and left with a very positive impression of home-nudism. Eventually she did go nude with my wife and daughter.
So another idea would be to invite your ex over, after a conversation and an advance notice of nudity. And then do as you would do under ordinary circumstances. If you or/and the girls would ordinarily be nude, do exactly that. Seeing you guys interact naturally might be all that's needed to convince him that social nudity is harmless, if not beneficial.
Well now you have a pool of ideas to draw from. Good luck and do keep us updated!
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 505 |
|
|
|
beatrice
New Member
|
Posted - 10/23/2009 : 06:28:59 AM
|
An advance notice of nudity lol! Yah I can just imagine introducing him to the idea and then saying, well in a few minutes me and your daughters are going to get naked, so make yourself at home, dinner will be ready in fifteen. lol!
The reason I wanted it to be just me my husband and him to begin with is because, well he's seen me naked before obviously, and seeing another guy naked is no big deal to him, but if he has to see his daughters naked, then I don't know if that will weird him out so much that he has a bad reaction, you know? I figured that if it was just me and my husband and him for a few times first, he would be more open to it.
He might think that if he allows his daughters to become nudists and go to nudist resorts that he is going to have to see them naked all the time, and thats gotta be a little hard for a guy to understand, who hasn't been exposed to nudism ever. He'll probably wonder if they will expect to be nudist when they are at his house etc....I don't know if it will be such a big problem now, but as they get older and get more womanly curves and such, I can foresee him having a hard time being around them if they are nude.
But, yah, your suggestion has definitely made me think. Baby steps right now for sure. Its still a while before vacation anyways, but the earlier we can make a reservation the better.
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 4 |
|
|
|
mummichelle
New Member
|
Posted - 11/28/2009 : 11:55:32 AM
|
Hi
I am a mother of two girls. My partner and I are nudists as are my two children, like you he is their step father. I understand your problem. Once, my bf was sitting on the couch with my two girls, they were all nude. Their Dad came round unexpectedly and walked in and saw this! Of course, initially he jumped to the wrong conclusions...
Luckily, he now knows whats going on and is fine with it. But it did take a lot of convincing. My girls are 12 and 14 and like yours they adore my bf, we are all very close. The girls followed the nudist lifestyle out of their own choice, they know we do not expect it from them, so we have a very similar predicament.
It can be hard for men to understand (they do have smaller brains haa ha only kidding). My bf was reluctant to have the girls be nude with us initially. There was an incident where we were all just sat nude watching tv and something sexy came on and he became erect. But that is nature and we are not ashamed of the human body.
I think if you do it without their father knowing that could make things even worse - I wouldn't suggest that, but thats just my opinion. Hope this helped.
|
|
Country: United Kingdom
| Posts: 9 |
|
|
|
Warmskin
Forum Member
|
Posted - 11/28/2009 : 5:19:59 PM
|
While I would think that being nude on the QT would not be the best way to handle this, I am wondering how much the ex can monitor what goes on in your home, or where you go for a vacation. Do you have to inform him when you take the kids on vacation, and tell him where you are going? If not, then he doesn't have to know where you went. Can he monitor your home as to what goes on inside the home? If you all decided to go nude at home, how would the ex know, unless somebody told him. Does your ex come over to your place a lot, so that he would be able to see what goes on in your home?
Just a few questions that visit my mind. It's frustrating that we have to put up textile type alarmists. That means we are ruled by people who simply don't know, and are driven by fear. But, hopefully your ex might come around to your viewpoint.
How far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without?
Dwight D. Eisenhower
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
|
|
|
NaturistDoc
Forum Member
|
Posted - 11/28/2009 : 6:26:20 PM
|
I disagree. It's not a nudity issue, but rather one of trust. Leaving the girls' father out of the loop and hoping he won't find out is not a good idea. A 7 year old and 12 year old should not be put in the position of having to keep secrets from their father ... as if they could! It's not difficult to imagine the 7 year old blurting to Dad, "Sis and I were naked with Mommy's new husband, but oops, Mommy told me not to tell." Hardly the optimal way to introduce Dad to social nudism! A week at a family nudist resort might be a fine thing, but not at the risk of losing the trust of someone the girls need very much.
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 1054 |
|
|
|
Warmskin
Forum Member
|
Posted - 11/28/2009 : 7:13:41 PM
|
Ya know, I think you're right, Doc. I see your point now. I guess my nudism is so well hidden from my family, I was starting to project my methodology onto others. Yes, kids do talk and they are not likely to play be terribly enigmatic as are adults. So, it looks like the ex is going to have be consulted with, lest the who family ends up at logger-heads.
Thanks for that insight, Doc!! Now, I'll go sit in the corner, as soon as I can find my dunce cap. LOL
quote:
Originally posted by NaturistDoc
I disagree. It's not a nudity issue, but rather one of trust. Leaving the girls' father out of the loop and hoping he won't find out is not a good idea. A 7 year old and 12 year old should not be put in the position of having to keep secrets from their father ... as if they could! It's not difficult to imagine the 7 year old blurting to Dad, "Sis and I were naked with Mommy's new husband, but oops, Mommy told me not to tell." Hardly the optimal way to introduce Dad to social nudism! A week at a family nudist resort might be a fine thing, but not at the risk of losing the trust of someone the girls need very much.
How far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without?
Dwight D. Eisenhower
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
|
|
|
FlCpl4NewdFun
Forum Member
|
Posted - 11/29/2009 : 4:15:47 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by NaturistDoc
I disagree. It's not a nudity issue, but rather one of trust. Leaving the girls' father out of the loop and hoping he won't find out is not a good idea. A 7 year old and 12 year old should not be put in the position of having to keep secrets from their father ... as if they could! It's not difficult to imagine the 7 year old blurting to Dad, "Sis and I were naked with Mommy's new husband, but oops, Mommy told me not to tell." Hardly the optimal way to introduce Dad to social nudism! A week at a family nudist resort might be a fine thing, but not at the risk of losing the trust of someone the girls need very much.
Amen Doc! - Probably the wisest post on this entire forum
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 219 |
|
|
|
Ricki00
Forum Member
|
Posted - 11/29/2009 : 6:52:13 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by FlCpl4NewdFun
quote:
Originally posted by NaturistDoc
I disagree. It's not a nudity issue, but rather one of trust. Leaving the girls' father out of the loop and hoping he won't find out is not a good idea. A 7 year old and 12 year old should not be put in the position of having to keep secrets from their father ... as if they could! It's not difficult to imagine the 7 year old blurting to Dad, "Sis and I were naked with Mommy's new husband, but oops, Mommy told me not to tell." Hardly the optimal way to introduce Dad to social nudism! A week at a family nudist resort might be a fine thing, but not at the risk of losing the trust of someone the girls need very much.
Amen Doc! - Probably the wisest post on this entire forum
Agreed!, I know what's it like to be in your position although I have never been in that position before.
We are currenlty planning to introduce the nude lifestyle to both of our daughters, after both of us spending a week in Florida and my wife seeing the benefits of indoor nude lifestyle especially with kids.Especially trying it for herself after seeing that my buddy from Florida his wife and all of us including his 2 young children getting naked after we got to his house.
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 117 |
|
|
|
naken
Forum Member
|
Posted - 11/29/2009 : 10:19:42 PM
|
Yes the doc is right,i stand corrected,dont know what i was thinking,live an learn,you live longer.naken
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 38 |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Nudist-Resorts.Org Discussion Forum Bulletin Board Nudism Clothing Optional Resort Naturism Nude Beaches |
© 2002-2020 SUN |
|
|
|
Convincing my ex to let me and kids go to resort.
