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bareskin_rug
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 Posted - 03/20/2006 : 11:07:08 AM
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Hi everyone,
I'm 33 yrs old from Texas and new to nudism. My wife and I decided last year that we wanted to become nudists.
We went to Antigua last spring to celebrate our 10-year anniversary and found a beautiful clothing-optional beach with people of all shapes and sizes. We decided to go on a dare. She was the first to shed her clothing, starting first with her top, then her bottom about 20 min later. I closed my eyes and took off my trunks and immediately felt great. The breeze and sun on the bare skin is something I hadn't felt in many many years. I hadn't seriously considered nudism before then but now we really like it so much we want our family to enjoy it, and even moreso to develop a healthy attitude about nudity, sex and our bodies.
After we got back from our trip we talked about introducing the kids to nudism, but with busy schedules we never found time to take them out, and we still have not yet gotten around to discussing it with them.
I have been doing some reading up on the subject and have found some good links here, but I thought I would share my family's situation and see if there is anymore good feedback you all might have.
I have 4 kids: a daughter, 12, and 3 sons, 9, 6 and 4. We realize it would probably be no big deal to get the boys to join us, especially the two youngest. The 4-year-old already swims naked in the back yard pool and our six-year old also does sometimes (at least last summer he did). Our 9-year-old has not developed the body shame yet either. He walks freely around the house, watches TV and sleeps in his underwear and still streaks from the bathroom to his bedroom after bathing. 
The challenge, we realize, is getting our daughter to join us. She seems to be at the critical age. She's not quite as open with nudity (nor was she really raised to be). I don't want her feeling left out or disgusted.
Your advice is welcome. Thanks and sorry I went so long.
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Edited by - bareskin_rug on 03/20/2006 12:14:16 PM
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D-TX
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Posted - 03/21/2006 : 9:52:45 PM
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Hello "bareskin_rug",
There's a list of landed and non-landed nudist clubs in TX on the American Association for Nude Recreation - Southwest Region web site (http://www.aanr-sw.org/html/clubs.html). I've seen families with kids the same age as yours at several of the clubs (Wildwood, Bluebonnet, Emerald Lake, Star Ranch, Natural Horisun, Lone Star), and friends have told me about families at some of the others (Vista Grande, Armadillo, BB's Hideaway, Riverside Ranch).
You might try calling a club near you and asking about visiting and bringing your family. Some have scheduled activities during the year for youth/children. If you've got a AANR membership, you'll get a discount on Day Use Rates at the clubs.
Hope this info helps!
Take Care & Be A Bare,
David
"Gosh that takes me back ... or is it forward? That's the trouble with time travel, you never can tell." - 4th Doctor in the Doctor Who story "ANDROIDS OF TARA"
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GeeWilly
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Posted - 03/22/2006 : 5:10:11 PM
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Well, bareskin, I don't think there is any "good" advice here. You know your daughter best. Is there anxiety in just asking her if she would like to take part in such an "adventure"? As D-TX said, there seem to be plenty of Texas venues where families might be visiting. At 12, not being the "only one" can be important.
How candidly you talk to your daughter is something only you can know. Good luck.
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NudeDen
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GeeWilly
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Posted - 03/23/2006 : 11:02:38 AM
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Great site, NudeDen, but it really does not (yet) deal with the question bareskin posed: "getting our (12 year-old) daughter to join us."
The site deals nicely with the benefits to be gained by children who are reared with an appropriate acceptance of nudism. But it just does not say how to gently ask a daughter (who has not been reared to be open with nudity) if she wants to be included with the rest of her family on a naturist outing.
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Bare in the Desert
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Posted - 03/23/2006 : 7:28:50 PM
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We also have a 12 year old and sadly is not intrested in joining the rest of the family in the nudist lifestyle. We've talked to her about the rest of the family being nude and it doesn't bother her at all and doesn't feel left out. I would advise just talking with her about it and don't push her. If she is forced she will reject it even more, there is still a chance she may want to join in when she's older.
Dare to be Bare
http://members.cox.net/freedomaz01
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pilot
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Posted - 03/23/2006 : 9:24:24 PM
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Welcome to being the parents of a tweenager, soon to be teenager.
My strong advice is not to fret too much about your child wanting to be different than parental examples and sibs. One can easily imagine an exact mirror image, with parents insisting that their teenage daughter expose absolutely nothing and then being told by daughter that she wanted to go to a nude beach.
The most important thing is to support her in her own decisions, provided those decisions are safe and do not threaten herself or others. In this case, her choice to remain textiled is hardly threatening, and enables her to have some control over her world. It is not a referendum on your decision.
The body image issues are substantial with tweens-teens of both genders. The growth spurt is a gawky time, and even the facial appearance issues (blemishes, pimples and so on)take on a life of their own.
What happens in time is that kids often come around to parental perspectives. It doesn't mean that the parents' views are intrinsically better. But when the apple eventually falls, it falls not far from the tree.
From the parent of a soon-to-be-20 year old daughter---patience and tolerance. It'll be awhile. Just make sure that the concept of clothing-optional is supported so your choice, and hers, are both valid.
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bareskin_rug
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Posted - 03/27/2006 : 09:58:49 AM
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Thanks everyone for your posts.
We have started slowly shedding our clothes this past week, and it has been going well. I have started spending more time in just my underwear, and my wife has now begun to wake the kids in the morning and put them to bed at night in just her underwear and no top. Our 9-year old son made a remark about it, but she pointed out that he too only wears his underwear sometimes. That simple logic seemed to satisfy him.
My wife and I sat down with our 12-year old daughter and basically told her that there are some people who go without clothes. She said yeah, she knows. We told her about our clothing-optional beach experience last year, and she was quite taken by surprise. She actually smiled and said WOW in exasperation. We told her that we found it to be a pleasant experience and that we would like to do it again. She was wide-eyed but did not appear repulsed or embarrassed. We told her that the body is nothing to be ashamed of, and that we want to keep a home where everyone can feel comfortable. We then told her that nudity is acceptable in our home (under the right circumstances) and that we should all respect each others' bodies. I told her that she is welcome to join us, or not if she chooses. She was speechless but she said "yeah, okay." We said that she can always feel free to tell us if something bothers her, or to let us know if it makes her uncomfortable. She shrugged and said "okay."
On Saturday evening I got our 4-year old son out of his clothes and let him stand in the jacuzzi. Our 6 and 9 year old boys then asked if they could join and stripped and got in. I then took off all of my clothes and joined them. Moments later my wife came out in a towel and then joined us, fully nude. Lastly our daughter came out, in her bathing suit. A few minutes later our daughter then removed her top. She was so relaxed doing so, I couldn't believe it. The whole family was there, naked together for the first time.
It was so peaceful and free. I realize that as the kids grow they might change their attitudes, but my wife and I talked that night about how wonderful the moment was.
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GeeWilly
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Posted - 03/27/2006 : 12:16:21 PM
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Well spoken, Bareskin!
I fully ascribe to Pilot's 'no-pressure of any sort' approach. Although he implies that what parents are really trying to do is validate their particular views through their children. With that I do not agree.
You describe a family that values each member's opinions and choices. A family that is sensitive and loving to one another. Because of the foregoing and a basic honesty, you seemed to have implanted respect for one another. I am glad it's working for you, and I suspect that it would work regardless of what your daughter chose.
Thanks for sharing.
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pilot
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Posted - 03/28/2006 : 11:47:00 PM
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GeeWilly...
Thanks for the kind remarks. I did not mean to suggest that parents should--or do--try to validate their choices through their kids. I am merely pointing out that whatever rebellious stage kids grow through as part of the normal processes of growth and personal development, they often drift back to the comfort zone in which they grew up. The mirror is that parents seem to grow a lot smarter as kids depart their teenage years.
I am reminded of a discussion a few years ago when our daughter learned to drive and it was time to figure out a first and safe car. Her initial desire: a Hummer. After she looked at her budget and her options, she decided that she wanted a basic Jeep Cherokee, not terribly different from what mom and dad have driven for years. And she has been very pleased with it.
Bareskin, sounds like you have a great family and great values. Cherish both.
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bareskin_rug
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Posted - 03/29/2006 : 4:44:22 PM
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Thanks to both of you for your kind words. It's amazing what a big step it seemed like to take off the clothes in front of the family, but now we realize what a minor deal it really is.
Of course we also now realize that there are other challenges, such as friends and extended family. My in-laws actually got a kick out of hearing us talk about our nude beach excursion last year, but my own parents might be a little shocked. I realize it will be necessary to tell them before our kids do though. But it is our life and our family and we will do as we see fit.
Thank you for the support and encouragement.
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GeeWilly
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Posted - 03/30/2006 : 12:02:21 PM
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You are most welcome, bareskin, well done.
Forgive me, pilot, I see your point. Although I thought the apple hit Newton on the head and it was the acorn that fell near the tree?
Sorry.
That "comfort zone" you speak of, going back to what you experienced, can be so restricting if one has not been given the "tools," the permission, to break away. (Assuming one did not grow up in a "Father Knows Best" environment.) If one's parents did it wrong, you have to be able to discern harmful behavior and not repeat it.
The mother of my children was totally intolerant of nudism. I hope I have given those kids the internal courage to make their own choices (just like bareskin) and to do so without feeling as if they betray their mother.
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bareskin_rug
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Posted - 04/07/2006 : 12:58:12 PM
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Hi everyone, just checking in. Thought I'd share my "status report."
I am amazed at how quickly our family has grown more comfortable with nudism and semi-nudism. We have gotten in a pattern of taking frequent, almost nightly, dips in the hot tub. Our daughter is comfortable fully removing her bathing suit once she gets in to the hot tub. Since our back yard isn't fully screened, my wife, daughter and I usually go out to the tub in swimsuits or a towel till we get to the hot tub, which is out of view of the neighbors. That's pretty much the extent of full nudity--I think we're all trying to figure out the protocol for ourselves. My 6 and 9 yr olds strip down to their underwear when they come home from school in the afternoon now, and they have been dabbling with sleeping nude. They share a bedroom, so they seem to positively influence each other.
I think it's pretty much realized that we can't be all-naked all-the-time, at least at this point. Even my 6 and 9 year old sons are sensitive to when it's appropriate or not--they seem to have no problem understading that it's just a matter of when someone's going to come over, who we discuss the issue with, etc. I've had talks with them, and my wife has talked to our daughter about it.
Anyway, we are looking into places in Texas to visit this summer. My wife and I may go and pre-view them and decide if it's a place we want to take our children.
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Marcoxl5
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Posted - 08/10/2007 : 3:23:10 PM
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I am about to go on a nudist beach for the first time with my non-practising wife and 4 year old daughter. Is it best to just go for it and practically be forcing it on my daughter making her think that it is perfectly acceptable or do I wait until she is old enough for her to make up her own mind.
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Cheri
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Posted - 08/10/2007 : 5:59:02 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Marcoxl5
I am about to go on a nudist beach for the first time with my non-practising wife and 4 year old daughter. Is it best to just go for it and practically be forcing it on my daughter making her think that it is perfectly acceptable or do I wait until she is old enough for her to make up her own mind.
A couple of questions:
1) Does your wife know you will probably disrobe?
2) Is your daughter potty trained?
If the answer is yes to both questions, this is a perfect age for your daughter to start enjoying the freedom from sandy, wet swimsuits that are often a problem esp. to females getting sand in places it shouldn't be and keeping that area from drying out.
Your daughter will enjoy the feeling of the water on her without the constricting feeling of the suit. Also, at age 4, will she wear a one piece or just the bottom part of a 2 piece? I can see no reason to have a child at that age wear a swimsuit.
Recommendation: when get to the spot you've decided on, without consulting your wife since she's aware it is a nude or clothing optional beach, say to your daughter, "come on...let's go swimming" Take off your clothes and see what happens. You can reassure her that this is normal and that it is more fun than wearing clothing.
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Marcoxl5
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Posted - 08/10/2007 : 8:06:34 PM
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Hi Cheri. The answer to both of your questions is yes. My wife would probably put her in a full swimsuit but I don`t think she would have a problem with my daughter wearing nothing so long as she feels she can trust the attitudes of the textiles ( I am trying to say in a polite way 'are they looking at her in an unfavourable manner'.
Thankyou for your advice - you have been most helpful
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Intro + introducing our kids to nudism?
