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GaNewnude
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 Posted - 03/29/2009 : 10:04:07 PM
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I have been wondering if Women are drawn (or repelled) to nude recreation for reasons different than men? My wife and I have both tried nude recreation with an open mind. We both found the first experience enjoyable. The problem is that I would like to go to clubs more frequently and she is not interested. She and I have gone back two other times but she stayed to herself and avoided contact with other people when normally she is usually VERY social. It wasn't much fun for her and her lack of enjoyment dampens my enthusiasm. When I try to talk to her about it, she says that we've had this discussion before and prefers that we drop it. Since I have not shared my experience with other friends, I'm kind of locked down on the subject except for this forum. Her main objection is that she does not like other people seeing her nude. She believes that nudity is private between a married couple and something is not right if a husband is OK with other's seeing his wife's body. I don't know what to make of her objections but basically, I have 3 choices. 1) Try to go to local clubs together and accept the fact that she may stay hidden in the camper while I'm out and about. 2) Forget social nudity and enjoy what nudity I can get while living in a crowded suburban neighborhood or 3) pursue nude recreation without my wife and take ocassional trips on my own. I would like to hear from others about their challanges with their spouses
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NaturistDoc
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Posted - 03/29/2009 : 11:31:19 PM
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If, as you say, "she does not like other people seeing her nude", then please explain how she "found the first experience enjoyable". The fact is, social nudism isn't for everyone. if she gave it a few tries and didn't care for it, it seems to me you ought to respect her feelings. It's not the end of the world.
You can find tons of posts elsewhere on this forum dealing with 'the reluctant wife'. (It's never the husband, is it?) I don't know how useful the advice is, but it's there for the asking.
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ddoger
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Posted - 03/30/2009 : 03:49:14 AM
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What you said could have been my own words a month ago. "nudity is between" husband and wife is exactly what my wife has said to me. However I have found that if I find an environment where she can be anonymous she feels comfortable being nude. Patience, love and trust are the keys. Don't expect her to jump on the band wagon right away. Take her where she feels comfortable and put the clubs on the back burner till she is ready. Naturism should be something that strengthens the relationship not tears it apart. I know it has be a blessing for my marriage.
Good luck
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Teva
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Posted - 03/30/2009 : 10:00:23 AM
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Since nudism isn't about seeing or being seen, it's not an issue for me. It was very easy to be comfortable in my own skin the first time, and I've not looked back these 30+ years.
Teva
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agde
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Posted - 03/31/2009 : 2:23:42 PM
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The "private parts" issue is a difficult thing to get past because it is something people learn as children. Its not restricted to women, but it is often particularly emphasized by protective parents with their girls. The simplest scenario learned is that the only exception to "private parts" is in a committed marriage. So any "sharing" of private parts with others brings into question the commitment. In my experience, things that resonate for change in such a situation start with facing commitment head on, to work on really strengthening communication and complicity (in the French sense of best-friend-bond) within the couple.
Within that, there are specific things on learned assumptions about what clothing means. Talking about how naturist situations are a break from clothing being used as a symbolic barrier, that part of what makes naturist opportunities special is the explicit pact between naturists that they respect each other, and their intimate relationships such as marriage, without being dependent on external social devices such as clothing. That this allows everyone to relax in a situation where they can give their bodies a natural and healthy chance to breathe normally, as nature intended, while doing other leisure activities. Private parts are still private parts, just not bundled up.
Anyway, each person is different and getting comfortable with a naturist outlook isn't a matter of courage or conversion. For some, like Teva, it may be as simple as realizing that "nudism isn't about seeing or being seen." For others, it may just take time to see and feel different norms in action, and to gain confidence in others' attitudes, including, first and foremost, being totally tuned into what is going on in the head of their life-buddy spouse!
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pilot
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Posted - 04/01/2009 : 11:13:09 AM
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It's interesting. There are some nudist contexts where my wife feels uncomfortable nude, and others where she is out of clothes faster than me. I think that the hosts and venue have a more substantial impact on comfort than often appreciated.
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GaNewnude
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Posted - 04/01/2009 : 9:29:57 PM
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I like the suggestion about a less traveled venue. I will try to find a place where we can be alone together. Maybe a cabin in the woods or a place to park the camper
When teh leaves are out, my own back deck is fairly hidden from the sight of our neighbors but we still live close to our neighbors. I had a friend tell me that her dad and step mom used to have "naked night" at their home. I may start with that. With 2 nearly adult kids at home, it's tough to plan on an evening when no one is home
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ddoger
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Posted - 04/02/2009 : 10:47:40 AM
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My wife and I started doing nude days. Only on my birthday first, then about once a month, then some nude sunbathing. We went to a nude beach in Antigua last year and it was very quiet. She joined in after a couple of hours. More nude days and then the big jump to nude hiking which she eventually join in topless. Nude days became more frequent and then this year we went to St. Maarten and Orient beach. We spent all "room time" nude and enjoyed 6 days at the Club O beach. Since we have been home, the days we have been home together have been "nude days". I've seen wonderful and dramatic changes over the past 2 years. I'm hoping to visit a resort with her but I will broach that subject when the time is right.
Lots of patience, lots of trust building and lots of love. All these things have been a blessing to the relationship too. We are closer now than we have ever been since we got married 24 years ago.
Good Luck
Ddoger
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Winteropal
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Posted - 04/06/2009 : 08:45:43 AM
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I didn't take to public nudity right away. To be honest, I still don't see an attraction for being nude inside the club, even after many, many years. For me it is a way to be a part of nature, to feel the warmth of the sun (through the sunscreen) on my body. If the first club I'd attended hadn't been very patient and clothing optional, I'd still be a clother.
I agree with other suggestions. See if you can find a small, clothing optional club that caters to families, a place where every other body isn't magazine quality. Then offer to trade something she enjoys and you don't for a second chance.
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Nudony
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Posted - 04/06/2009 : 9:51:31 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by pilot
It's interesting. There are some nudist contexts where my wife feels uncomfortable nude, and others where she is out of clothes faster than me. I think that the hosts and venue have a more substantial impact on comfort than often appreciated.
That's also my experience with my wife. When we were still together, and same as pilot, there would be situations where she would nude in a virtual blink of an eye; and sometimes she would be overtly alert and reserved. Whereas I was more drawn to the quantitive aspects of nude recreation (the more people nude, the merrier), she was more drawn to the qualitive aspects of people and interactions. So her interest was more in "who she was with" than "where she was."
Hence, if we were meeting up at a resort with some good friends, whose trust and friendship was well established, she'd be nude the moment we parked the car. Or if we went to a new resort she was a bit apprehensive about, and saw other mothers with kids, she'd be the first to disrobe and go introduce herself.
Once a positive connection had been established, it didn't even matter to her if the other person was nude or not. Whereas I preferred an inclusive, all-nude setting, she focused more on the person and her relationship with the person; hence it didn't matter to her who was nude and who wasn't, as evidenced by seeing her interact nude with clothed newbies or family members. It was all about "connecting"; nudity was just an enjoyable way to do that.
So I would say, in my personal experience, that women are more about well-being, comfort and trust; whereas us guys often just like to be nude - period.
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Edited by - Nudony on 04/06/2009 9:53:56 PM |
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CarrieAnne
New Member
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Posted - 04/27/2010 : 12:28:38 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Nudony
So I would say, in my personal experience, that women are more about well-being, comfort and trust; whereas us guys often just like to be nude - period.
I agree with you Nudony. I think it all boils down to being comfortable in the situation. Being in a trusting, familiar environment helps a lot.
~CarrieAnne~
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sunflower
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Posted - 10/28/2010 : 04:31:06 AM
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I think I must be a very odd woman. I have been a naturist for around 50 years, both in my home and socialy. Whilst my husband was alive we used to go together as he was a naturist as well but now that I am widowed I find it very difficult to meet a like minded man who doesn´t think that I am ´easy´ because I am a naturist or who looks at me as though I am from another planet when I mention I am a naturist. I go to my local beach alone but have had a couple of very unpleasant experiences, not to keen on going to a naturist village alone as again I would be the only lone female.
Sunflower
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nudesunguy
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Posted - 10/28/2010 : 09:46:57 AM
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My wife seems to do better in the big, anonymous venues, especially if they are far from home. She did go through a stage where she refused to go to local places, claiming she was concerned she'd meet someone she knew from work. I continued going alone (with her blessing) and made friends, etc. I think she finally got jealous of the fun I was having (and maybe figured we were spending too much time alone), and started joining me. It's gotten better and better over the years.
It's rare, but sometimes it IS the husband. I have a female friend at our local beach who always comes alone. I've seen her husband once, wearing shorts with her on the beach.
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isabel
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Posted - 10/30/2010 : 8:44:10 PM
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I see it as the same thing of why I liked always to be at the beach. Its fun to be in less clothes than normal society so I was first enjoying that with a bikni and now since mixing with my moms new family I enjoyed the freedom of less or no clothes at the holiday with them so its like a new good feeling to have no clothes on. But I had to let go of concerns when around males nude because I had been on dates when clothed guys were undressing me when I just wanted to be kissed etc. So I wasn't relaxed at first on the first day as a nudist but then I realized its not like a date they are seeing me as normal etc.
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tgg
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/29/2011 : 10:14:05 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by NaturistDoc
If, as you say, "she does not like other people seeing her nude", then please explain how she "found the first experience enjoyable". The fact is, social nudism isn't for everyone. if she gave it a few tries and didn't care for it, it seems to me you ought to respect her feelings. It's not the end of the world.
You can find tons of posts elsewhere on this forum dealing with 'the reluctant wife'. (It's never the husband, is it?) I don't know how useful the advice is, but it's there for the asking.
Social nudism is not meant for these following people:
1) Albinos
2) Perverts
3) Swingers
4) Men in unhappy marriages
Everyone else should be okay with it.
'Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked' - Neale Donald Walsch (Conversations With God 1)
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newdaynudist
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Posted - 12/29/2011 : 11:59:39 PM
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tgg - I hope you are not serious! I don't fall into any of those categories, and social nudism is not for me! I don't like socializing with people period. My nudism is something that I do in private because it feels right for me. Just because one person likes social nudism does not mean that everyone should. Your comment was narrow minded.
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Is nude recreation different for women?
