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Calbob
Forum Member
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Posted - 05/21/2009 : 5:44:17 PM
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"Seems that organized activities, where each person has something to contribute, would break the social constrictions that the cliques set up. You more or less get what you plan for, or not get what you don't plan for."
Actually, there ARE organized activities at this particular club where they are often begging for volunteers. My GF and I participated in the Murder Mystery night, which brought a lot of people together. A couple of weeks ago, they had their annual Casino night and they were asking for volunteers to help run the games. Those are examples of ways to get to know other members. I've observed that the larger clubs seem to be the most cliquish. I think that it's just a natural thing for people to gravitate into small groups. The smaller clubs and resorts have an advantage in this regard.
Bob
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Edited by - Calbob on 05/21/2009 5:49:00 PM |
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Country: USA
| Posts: 153 |
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 05/22/2009 : 12:52:08 AM
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I'll have to look into helping out with those activities, Bob. It seems that when folks are sharing a productive activity, there is a good chance you will get to know them. The workplace, where harmonious, sure bears out that point you made. I'll check within.
Yessir, RunningAroundNaked, I do stay clean.
“In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.” -John Adams
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
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sailawaybob
Forum Member
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Posted - 05/22/2009 : 10:50:34 PM
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i guess this is why i quit going to clubs, if i could find another mom and pop club i would probably join but i am now content to find a trail to hike or river to kayak the only cliq is the birds and they are really chirping. but warmskin hang in there club have there good points especially the pool when its hot out.
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1268 |
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Teva
Forum Member
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Posted - 05/30/2009 : 12:42:52 PM
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quote: Originally posted by sailawaybob
i guess this is why i quit going to clubs, if i could find another mom and pop club i would probably join but i am now content to find a trail to hike or river to kayak the only cliq is the birds and they are really chirping. but warmskin hang in there club have there good points especially the pool when its hot out.
There have be 3 or 4 nonlanded clubs in GA that have not succeeded. There is a mom & pop club: Native Woods in Darien, GA just off of I-95. Great owners. They are having a grand opening of their pool on June 13th. Teva
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NudistBob
New Member
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Posted - 06/15/2009 : 11:28:07 AM
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Hi,
I might know of which resort you are speaking of. I was active in nudism in southern California in the late 80's. During the few years I lived down there, I visited most all the nudist resorts and nude beaches from S.F. southward and was a member of the Silver Valley Sun Club.
But one visit I made was to the resort in El Cajon, Swallows i think is the name. The people there were very cliqish. They did not reach out to welcome visiters. That was the only time i visited that resort. Every where else I was made to feel comfortable, even tho I was a single male.
Bob
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CalTom
Forum Member
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Posted - 06/15/2009 : 12:39:46 PM
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quote: Originally posted by NudistBob
Hi, But one visit I made was to the resort in El Cajon, Swallows i think is the name. The people there were very cliqish. They did not reach out to welcome visiters. That was the only time i visited that resort. Every where else I was made to feel comfortable, even tho I was a single male.
Bob
Now that Swallows and the subsequent club have shut down it's amazing how the permanent closure of a nudist resort makes the memories sweeter and more gentle. As I wrote on another nudist website the late "Big Sue" Latimer ruled that place for a long time with an iron fist (and a big mouth.) Although I know little of her earlier life, General George S. Patton could have used her during WW-II; indeed if she were younger I would have sworn she was the reincarnated General.
I crossed paths with her one day when I committed the felony of taking a lounge chair to the pool from outside the fenced-in area. As I swung open the gate an angry bark like a drill sergeant shot through the air and I stopped dead in my tracks, my hands holding the offending outdoor furniture as a defensive shield. I'm well over six-feet and through the slots in the lounge chair I could see a woman a foot shorter than myself stomping toward me angrily. I quickly reasoned my height was of no advantage as she substantially outweighed me and probably could easily out wrestle most men. I took the lounge chair back to its original location.
After a period of time Sue and I came to a truce of some nature and that carried on until she passed away. The key is to approach these kinds of personalities with a thick skin. Do not be scared away from a nudist resort because of one or two people.
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Country: USA
| Posts: 207 |
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 07/12/2009 : 04:54:36 AM
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The sage continues, in a way. It's getting funny. I was sitting on a lawn, drinking some ginger ale from a glass bottle. The fellow who told me that I wasn't welcome there, got on my case for drinking from a glass bottle. He said that the sign on a gate leading to the pool, stated that you could not drink from a glass bottle inside the pool gates. I looked at the sign after he got through with me, and it said -- no glass bottles in the pool area. The definition of the pool area is subject to various interpretations. I don't mean to be hairsplitting, but words need to be explicit so that a wide variety of people can easily understood what a term means.
To me, the pool area is the patio around the pool, and even more broadly interpreted would be any hard surface that a bottle would break on near the pool. That sounds quite reasonable to me, as well as anybody. The lawn is quite a ways away from the pool, and again a dropped bottle on a soft lawn does not break. I could have thrown it at the lawn and it still won't break.
It turns out that this guy was one of the staff at the resort; perhaps in management. If he really wanted to specify where you could not drink out of a glass bottle, he should have placed a sign saying -- no glass bottles inside these gates. There is no room for interpretation in that phrase. The funny part was, I had to take my bag of ginger ale outside the gate, which I promptly and fully agreed to do, I then drank the ale on a paved surface just outside the gates to the pool. Had I dropped it there where I was supposed to drink it, it would have shattered.
If you want to be in management of some kind, have a clear idea of what could happen, think about it, and then put up a sign that makes good logical sense. Also, this guy could use some training in how to communicate with people a lot more graciously. It makes for repeat customers who have signed up for membership.
As I said, this is getting to be funny. I don't think this guy will ever make my list of gracious hospitality staff members. I've met him twice and I probably won't be the president of his fan club any time soon. The first time I encountered him, I thought he might be an angry guy, but this time when I met him again, he didn't have a change of behavior. I might be able to both extrapolate and interpolate that he keeps a fairly consistent attitude. He and other staff members have a lot to do to run the place; no question about that, but it doesn't mean he has to be misanthropic about it.
Maybe I'm being too petty, or sensitive about it. I'll let you decide. All I know is I first tried to say hello to a group or people he was in as I passed by, and then didn't understand the vague language of a sign. Next time, I might have to bring my lawyer. LOL.
If you met me, you'd think I was a re-incarnation of Mr. Rogers from Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. I'm not much of a predatory guy, and I am polite about my conduct.
Maybe meeting this fellow for the third time will be the charm for evoking a smile from him from something I did or said.
I purposely have left out the name of the resort, not only because of forum policy, but also to promote thinking about how to communicate with customers, not matter which resort. People are people everywhere, thus the possible general principles of it all.
Good news on the social front, this time. I met a nice couple from a town nearby where I used to live. We had a nice long conversation. Single guys really have a distinct disadvantage. Next time, I'll be on the lookout for the volleyball games that CalBob has talked about.
"The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home." James Madison
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
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PABiker
Forum Member
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Posted - 07/12/2009 : 10:57:10 PM
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Warmskin, I wasn't there for any of your experiences so I can't comment. I've followed the thread and your experiences are foreign to what I've become accustomed to at our resort. It sounds like you've met the wrong people and might have picked the wrong place and I'm very sorry to hear that.
At our resort my wife and I attend several days a week, but usually I'm alone during the day due to a layoff from work. Some who don't know me may cast a suspicious eye but probably relax once the staff and regulars greet me. I couldn't imagine arriving and not being welcomed. I'm sure my level of enjoyment would suffer a bit if I had your experiences.
I also work part time as staff at our resort and will sometimes approach people if a rule, minor or otherwise, is broken. At times I've gotten plastic cups with or without ice (depending on the beverage in question) and brought them to people with glass bottles. Several times I've introduced myself, shook hands, and offered the cup in return for the bottle for safety's sake. So far everyone has been pleasant and happy to comply. We have a nice conversation, I tell the newer folks all of the ammenities at their disposal and rattle off the activities and menu specials. Most times my wife and I will meet them sometime during their stay.
My suspicion is that the fault may be more with a few opinionated people and staffers than with the members of the resort at large. Please don't take offense, I cannot disagree with you since I have no firsthand knowledge of the resort in question. But as with most facets of life today we often have to endure the rattling of the emptiest of barrels and cannot hear the voices of the majority who silently watch the impolite behavior without speaking up. All I can offer is to greet you and show you around should you visit us here in PA.
I hope you find a place you enjoy as much as we do our resort. And I hope the restaurant has good wings........and steamed clam specials........and tacos.......oh, and sinnfully rich desert specials.....and...........and..........
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Country: USA
| Posts: 41 |
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 07/12/2009 : 11:33:53 PM
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PABiker,
Those last remarks are making me powerfully hungry!! I did meet some nice folks on Saturday, and they didn't mind that I was a single guy. Now, I'll have to catch up with Calbob, and say hello. I've seen him once there, but didn't know it was him at the time.
Your mentioning tacos and desserts did me in; to the fridge I go!
"The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home." James Madison
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
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Randall50
Forum Member
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Posted - 07/25/2009 : 1:54:34 PM
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Really sorry to read about the bad experience. I'm a newly-confessed nudist and ready to experience the "acceptance" of other nudists. I am a married man whose wife won't join me in my life style. Any suggestions where I can find an accepting group?
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Country: USA
| Posts: 117 |
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RobRoy
Forum Member
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Posted - 07/26/2009 : 08:11:28 AM
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Avalon in WV accepts unaccompanied males. Heck, we will accept anyone who behaves. I think you will find us a friendly bunch as well. Our web site is www.avalon-resort.com
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mamadothall
Forum Member
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Posted - 09/06/2009 : 12:45:50 AM
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Naked Openess-I sent you a PM but forgot to mention in it the kid's center (across from the old office has been redone and is now the WTR chapel complete with steeple. Thanks for the nice comments you made on this thread concerning WTP which is now White Tail Resort. ====== Warmskin, If ever in Virginia along US 460 between Suffolk and Petersburg or in that general area- hope you will take time to stop in and visit with us at White Tail Resort. you might check out www.whitetailresort.org for more info concerning WTR.
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Country: USA
| Posts: 11 |
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 09/07/2009 : 04:39:41 AM
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I have been to four clothing-optional facilities so far. The smaller one I went to seemed to be much more friendly, as a whole. I don't know if they rose above the bar-hopper mentality, but seemed to rise well above that dismal level. Still, though, at that smaller facility, you'd definitely meet a few.
I was at a larger one last Friday. I amuse myself at the end of the day, by saying I have taken a vow of silence at the resort. I have taken my own advice and listened to conversations and then tried to say some things with were highly relevant to the conversationalists. No answer from these nudists. If looks could talk, they would have said, "Who are you to join in our conversation?" Hmmm, What does one say to that? While in the conversation warm pool, I tried to enter a conversation, and very shortly after, I found myself surrounded by their backs facing me.
I don't want to be any kind of super-star, nor could I, there. All I was looking for was to be included into a conversation, without the shunning body and facial language.
What the bulk of these people do is talk in groups of 4 or so, and they constitute a tight-knit, closed group that will not tolerate other people, unless they are "worthy to talk to. Then there are those who think themselves elite in the social circles there. The will only talk to others who they think match their own "level."
I could easily see most of the people there as frequenters of bars. There is no problem with that, but you and your little coterie are not the only people on the face of the earth. The folks are no geniuses, but the do seek out others who mirror that supremacist attitude. To me, it's social climbing, short, sweet, and simple.
Of course there are those who literally push you out of the way (I'm serious and surprised) if you don't fit into their elite counsel. I was stunned by this kind of behavior.
I come across as shy, polite, and always have something deep to say, according to most people I know. So, I don't see myself as a threat. I am in my 60s, keep in shape, not hideous to look at. I am single, so when you add that to my age, and politeness (as opposed to mouthy and pushy), it seems that is not accepted at this place. Yet, they talk about acceptance in nudist literature. Hmmm, really?
Social supremacism by self-chosen elites at nudist resorts are the worst element, in my opinio, at a nudist resort. I think these people ought to be segregated from the hidden friendly folks who must be there somewhere. Put these elitists at the far end of the resort where they won't embarrass the resort. The staff is very friendly, but they were chosen, I hope, to welcome guests. I did encounter one very briefly as she was walking her dog, and she was a refreshing break from the bar-hoppers.
A funny one, to me anyway, was a couple I managed to talk with for a moment, told me they lived in my town, and then we discovered that we were a few blocks apart. You'd think that would count for something. Nope. Not interested in even sharing some simple conversation after we were both back in our town. However, another person joined in who lived about 60 miles away, and they immediately made plans to meet some time in the near feature.
The manager was nicer that day. So, that helped.
It's strictly an uphill climb at this place, compared to the other three places I visited, so far. So, I am not going to renew my membership later this month.
I slept overnight there, and promptly took off in the morning to go to more friendly venues. I did know of a river which had some skinny dipping holes in it, so drove off in that direction. I quickly met and enjoyed the company of a family and their children. We talked for quite a while. Later their young daughter approached me for help, because she got separated from her family who went further downstream. I accompanied her to look for her parents and later found them. It was a rewarding experience for me.
Another time I went to this same spot, I was joined by this engaging couple. We got into some fun conversations, too. I think there is something about nature that brings out the best in people, especially if you are in a remote spot. Obviously, this will be a prime place for me to experience public nudism, and while it costs nothing to be there, it does cost gas money, so financially, it is a wash.
Just updating my impressions and activities in this continuing sage. One can hope that these observations, however off the mark, could be the impetus for making changes in resort policies. It's ironic that from afar, these socialites are warm and outgoing. When you finally get to the pool, you find that they are not socially mature enough to be inclusive. It takes adequate intelligence to be inclusive.
As the late Walter Cronkite would say, "That's the way it is!"
"The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home." James Madison
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
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PABiker
Forum Member
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Posted - 09/07/2009 : 9:03:21 PM
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Just returned from visiting our club for the day. Being a holiday weekend we met lots of new people including plenty of single men. All were well behaved and welcomed as friends. It seems maybe you just need a new club to frequent.
I kinda chuckled at your reference to the folks there as "frequenters of bars." Truth is, once the sun goes down my wife and I can either be found at the poolside bar or in the hut tub. Either way we generally strike up conversations with anyone nearby. Once we met a gentleman (single) who in conversation told us he worked for the NSA. I jokingly said, "oh, I guess I don't need to tell you anything about myself then, you can go back and check your files." I'm sure he hears dumb comments like that all the time and probably rolled his eyes inwardly even though he just smiled. But back on topic I've never seen anyone shunned from a conversation at Sunny Rest.
As far as superiority complexes go, no one will ever accuse me. Although I cleaned up my appearance a year ago (my beard no longer rests on my belly and my hair no longer reaches my buttocks) I still have hair down my back and a more acceptable beard. Add ink and earings and I won't come across as your accountant or pastor. But I still get a warm greeting wherever I travel in the nudist world from staff, other guests, and families. I'll never understand why appearance counts for so much in some places. I even had a little girl insist I was Santa Clause the other year in the airport. I put my finger to my lips, looked around as if to see if anyone was watching, and said "don't tell everyone." Then I sat down with her and her Grandmother to hear her wish list.
I guess my point is, the resort in question certainly doesn't sound like the best place for you. But don't paint them all with a broad brush. We have a great crew of regulars and we love to have visitors at Sunny Rest. If you ever visit gimmee a holler. I'll buy the first round or have the chef make 2 orders of wings in my level of hot.
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Country: USA
| Posts: 41 |
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66onryb
New Member
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Posted - 09/07/2009 : 9:38:15 PM
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PA Biker I am glad to hear Sunny Rest is a good place to visit, I am trying to get there yet this year. I have heard lots of plusses and am anxious to spend a day there,
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